Women

• Company: Mai Kwai Movies
• Director: Abubakar A.S Mai Kwai
• Producer: Abdul Dan Small
• Language: Hausa
• Cast: Ali Nuhu, Aminu Sharif (Momo), Maryam Ceeter, Baballe Hayatu, Hafsat Idris, etc.
• Year: 2018

The question of whether married women should be allowed to work remains contentious in Hausa society. Modern people support the idea, while traditionalists continue to frown upon it. As the debate continues, a Kannywood production company, Mai Kwai Movies, weighs in with their film Dr. Halima.

The story revolves around the eponymous character (played by Maryam Ceeter), a PhD holder whose husband, Yusuf (Ali Nuhu), allows her to work at a construction company. Dr. Halima takes pride in her appearance and enjoys being complimented on her looks, but her husband is a rigid alpha male who dismisses that as frivolous and never cares to praise her. Instead, she receives attention and admiration from her male colleagues, whom she openly welcomes despite being married. As a modern woman, Dr. Halima doesn’t see anything wrong with dressing fashionably and being appreciated by others.

However, jealousy consumes Halima’s husband when he realises she has become the centre of attention at her workplace. He reacts by neglecting her and sleeping separately. Despite her attempts to address the issue, he turns a deaf ear, leading to growing tension and a deterioration in their marriage. Meanwhile, Halima’s colleague, Dags (Aminu Shareef Momoh), who has long harboured feelings for her, gets an opportunity to intrude into her life. He eventually succeeds in his pursuit, taking advantage of her vulnerability.

Thanks to its powerful story, the film generally captivates despite having a limited narrative hook. It succeeds in delivering its central message: that the problem with married women working is mostly not from the work itself, but from the behaviour of the women involved. When a married woman respects herself, she repels temptation, and when she doesn’t, the opposite occurs. We see how Dr. Halima attracts indecent colleagues with her scanty dress, but repels them later when she begins to dress modestly.

The film also underlines the need for effective communication in marriage and the dangers attached to neglectful relationships. We see how cold communication leads Yusuf and Halima to neglect each other and sleep separately for over three months. This emotional distance is what plays a key role in Halima’s decision to commit adultery with her colleague, as shown in the movie.

Additionally, the film introduces a moderate Fatwa that a marriage does not necessarily have to end if a wife has committed adultery. What matters most is sincere repentance and seeking Allah’s forgiveness. Ultimately, Dr. Halima repents without revealing her transgression to her husband, and they continue to live happily ever after.

On the other hand, the film falls slightly short in its technical aspects. Both sound design and editing are poorly handled. The continuity and costume use are also noticeably flawed. For instance, in one sequence, a messenger is seen meeting Dr. Halima on the company premises. However, moments later, the same messenger appears wearing a different outfit when she enters the office.

Regarding the actors, Maryam Ceeter, with her mature presence, is perfectly cast as Dr. Halima. She brings emotional depth, portraying both the confidence and vulnerability of her character. Ali Nuhu excels as Halima’s rigid husband. He gives a realistic performance, with his love for Halima subtly evident even as he distances himself from her. Aminu Momoh fully inhabits his dubious character, as he often does, using his charm and great comic timing.

Other supporting actors, including Baballe Hayatu and Hafsat Idris, are equally well-cast and perform commendably.

Overall, Dr. Halima is a compelling family drama that does full justice to its serious subject matter. While it may not be suitable for children, it is a must-watch for adult audiences. Rating: 3.5/5

Habibu Maaruf Abdu wrote from Kano via habibumaaruf11@gmail.com.

By Hauwa Mohammed Sani PhD

The phrase “No women, no peace” has become a rallying cry for those who recognise the critical role of women in peacebuilding. Yet, in conflict-prone regions like rural Northern Nigeria, this vision often feels like a distant dream. During my recent visit to communities of displaced women, coinciding with the Ramadan period in March 2025, I witnessed heartbreaking realities. Despite the challenges, I remain convinced that positive change is possible and that women hold the key to it.

My first heartbreak came from witnessing the deplorable conditions in which these women live; hunger, poverty, ignorance, and social exclusion were evident in their lives. 

The second heartbreak occurred when a child fetching water fell into a deep, uncovered well. I have never felt a more profound sense of helplessness. 

Although these women may not be able to read, write, or comprehend my work, this article represents my humble contribution to the society I belong to, with the hope that it will reach the ears and eyes of those it may concern.

As a researcher, I am supported by the Science for Africa (SFA) Foundation in Nairobi, Kenya, and the Carnegie Corporation through the Preparing Outstanding Social Science Investigators to Benefit Lives and Environments in Africa initiative (POSSIBLE Africa) Postdoctoral Fellowship. My research aims to go beyond portraying women as victims to spotlight their potential as active peacebuilders in Northern Nigeria.

The statistics are staggering: In the conflict-prone zones of Northern Nigeria, women and girls suffer disproportionately from conflict, displacement, and violence. They flee their homes, lose their livelihoods, and often face trauma that leaves lasting scars. During my visit, I saw this pain firsthand. The tears I shed were more than emotional; they were a testament to the suffering I witnessed.

It is pathetic to recount that these women’s expectations have shrunk to a single plea: “May the government come to our aid.” When I inquired about their own efforts toward peace, they shared that they engage in regular prayers and fasting. Yet, they feel that their tormentors are always one step ahead because they are often accompanied by clerics. Still, they seek spiritual protection and divine intervention, clinging to faith as their last refuge. 

Some even recounted instances where women, in acts of desperation and courage, pretended to be mentally unstable or “mad”, hoping that such displays might scare off their oppressors, which in many instances worked.

This mindset illustrates the psychological toll of prolonged violence and displacement. Over time, a person’s sense of agency may erode. Many begin to see themselves solely as victims, dependent on external rescue.

But women are not just victims of conflict. They are also agents of change. In some rural Northern Nigeria, women are organising themselves into cooperatives, advocating for their rights, and supporting one another to rebuild their communities and foster peace.

How can we support these women in their quest for peace and development?

Amplify their voices: Provide platforms for storytelling, problem-sharing, and solution-finding, for example, through theatre for development, etc.

Build their capacity: Offer education, psychosocial support, and economic empowerment tools. Address root causes: Confront the structural issues, poverty, injustice, and exclusion that feed cycles of violence.

Healing Collective Traumas: From Erasure to Memory

Violent conflict does not just destroy homes; it scars communities. Healing collective trauma involves:

1. Acknowledgement and Recognition: Validating and recognising the suffering of affected communities.

2. Truth-telling and Documentation: Recording stories and preserving collective memory.

3. Community-Based Initiatives: Promoting healing through solidarity groups and cultural activities.

4. Education and Awareness: Raising understanding to encourage empathy and reconciliation.

Conclusion

“No women, no peace” is more than a slogan. It is a truth we must act upon. Women are essential to peacebuilding, particularly in conflict-prone regions like rural Northern Nigeria. By recognising their voices, supporting their efforts, and addressing the systemic roots of violence, we can build a future where peace is not just possible but sustainable.

Hauwa Mohammed Sani, PhD, is the Deputy Director of the Institute for Development, Research &Training at Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria. She can be reached at hauwamohammedsanim@gmail.com.

By Maryam Ahmad

In a landmark decision, the UK Supreme Court has ruled that the terms “woman” and “sex” in the Equality Act 2010 refer exclusively to biological sex, thereby excluding transgender women from the legal definition of “woman” under this legislation.

The unanimous ruling stems from a legal challenge by the feminist group For Women Scotland against a 2018 Scottish law that included transgender women in quotas for women’s representation on public boards. The Court determined that such inclusion would render the Equality Act incoherent, as it would create two sub-groups within those who share the protected characteristic of gender reassignment.

Supporters of the ruling, including author J.K. Rowling, hailed it as a victory for women’s rights and legal clarity. Conversely, LGBTQ+ advocacy groups such as Stonewall expressed deep concern, warning that the decision could lead to increased exclusion of transgender individuals from essential services and spaces.

While the ruling clarifies the legal definition of “woman” under the Equality Act, it does not diminish existing protections against discrimination for transgender individuals based on gender reassignment. The practical implications of this decision will depend on future implementation and interpretation by institutions and policymakers.

By Abdullahi Mukhtar Algasgaini

Stubborn women fail in their marriages, and even in their relationships with relatives. Women who lack emotional intelligence and flexibility in dealing with people around them, are the biggest failures in their marriages and their lives.

Why? She enters into an egoistic tug of war with her husband, and prefers the voice of her ego to try to overcome him, and in fact she fails before the ego of her husband and the ego of those who are around her, because men become more stubborn in front of a stubborn wife and stubborn sister, and they become more gentle in front of a submissive woman.

A headstrong woman thinks that she can win while insisting on her opinion, and she can stand in front of any opposition. She forgets that even if she wins by her obstinacy in her opinion and stand, she loses the heart that was loving her and caring for her.

Many narrations and wise proverbs in all the cultures have praised an easy-going, soft, friendly, patient and enduring woman.

Even the Messenger (peace and blessings be on him) and the Companions after him, recommended and praised a woman who respects her husband and speaks with softness and wisdom, and in turn he will love her and never leave her.

The woman who will obey her husband and stoop to let the storm pass; she is the wise, rational woman who thrives, and holds the family together.

The woman who stands like an unyielding dry stick is the one who breaks, suffering irreparable damage.The uncompromising woman clings to her opinion. She tries to constantly perpetuate the illusion of her victory: I win and you lose, I am right and you are wrong. Such a woman destroys herself before destroying others. And she lives a life of sorrowful despondency in this world and the hereafter.

By Jerry Ayuba Yavo

Depression is not just a regular aspect of human experience but a serious medical condition. According to the National Institute for Mental Health, depression is a common yet serious mood disorder. It causes severe symptoms that impact how a person feels, thinks, and handles daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working. 

Some symptoms include persistent sadness, feelings of hopelessness or pessimism, irritability, frustration, restlessness, and, in severe cases, thoughts of death, suicidal ideation, or suicide attempts.

In 2023, the World Health Organization (WHO) reported that an estimated 3.8% of the global population experiences depression, with 5% of adults affected (4% among men and 6% among women) and 5.7% of adults over the age of 60. 

Approximately 280 million people worldwide suffer from depression, and alarmingly, depression is about 50% more common in women than in men. This disparity is primarily attributed to biological factors, including hormonal fluctuations, genetic predisposition, and other factors.

Despite its prevalence, many people with depression may be unaware of their condition. A woman in Nigeria shared her experience with a reporter, revealing how she had struggled with mood swings since childhood. Her parents believed she was facing spiritual attacks, isolating her from her siblings, who were considered “normal.” 

As she grew older, she turned to drugs and alcohol to cope, eventually becoming addicted. It wasn’t until much later that she realised she had been suffering from depression since childhood. After marriage, she also experienced post-natal depression, which worsened her case.

In recent years, treatments such as medication and psychotherapy have proven effective for most people with depression. However, over 75% of individuals in low- and middle-income countries receive no treatment due to several barriers, including limited investment in mental health care, a lack of trained healthcare providers, and the social stigma surrounding mental illness.

Both men and women must assess their mental well-being and seek professional help if they experience symptoms of depression. Addressing mental health openly and without stigma is essential for a healthier society.

Jerry Ayuba Yavo wrote from the Department of Mass Communication, Bayero University, Kano, via jerryjnr419@gmail.com.

By Rabi Ummi Umar,

Nature bestows unique characteristics upon creatures of all species. One distinctive feature for humans, particularly women, is menstruation, otherwise known as periods. This menstrual cycle often comes with an enormous amount of pain and discomfort. 

Hence, I get aggravated when people, particularly men, downplay or dismiss the pain associated with periods. It has become all too common nowadays, and I often wonder, “What is their thought process behind such disregard?” This disregard is part of what we have come to know as period stigma—the social, cultural, and emotional shame or embarrassment associated with menstruation.

Women typically experience menstruation for two to seven days a month. Still, they also face a range of challenges, including premenstrual syndrome (PMS), sadness, menstrual pain, depression, and post-menstrual depression. For these reasons, we deserve sympathy and support.

Menstrual cramps are painful sensations that affect many individuals before and during their menstrual period. The pain typically targets the lower abdomen and lower back. Women often experience additional symptoms, such as loss of appetite, nausea, diarrhoea, and more. Depending on the individual, menstrual cramps may last for at least three days or even longer.

Reports have shown that approximately 5% to 15% of individuals experience period pain so severe that it impacts their daily activities. According to Cleveland Clinic, the figure could be higher due to underreported or unreported cases.

There are instances where I have witnessed men being insensitive towards the pain women experience during their periods. Sometimes, if the situation warrants it, I share my opinion; otherwise, my best option is to watch helplessly or move on.

Women are paradoxically both fragile and incredibly strong creatures, enduring immense physical and emotional challenges every month. This never-ending cycle, which results in the loss of an appreciable amount of blood, makes it particularly hurtful when someone dismisses or undermines the experiences we go through.

A genuine suggestion is that when it is that time of the month for your partner, sister, mother, or loved one, show your support with a thoughtful gesture. Be present for them, even if you cannot fully comprehend their experience. Make them feel seen and cared for. Do your research, take the necessary steps, and understand what works best for them. It makes a bigger difference than you might think.

Recently, there was a heated discussion on X (formerly Twitter) regarding PCOS—polycystic ovary syndrome, a hormonal disorder that causes enlarged ovaries—that left me stunned. Although I cannot recall the exact comment, it disregarded the severity of the condition and painted women as unhealthy, much like what happens with periods.

One piece of advice from that social media conversation resonated with me: “Review your partner’s Twitter to gain insight into their thoughts before committing to a relationship.” I cannot stress enough how important this advice is. It underscores the need to have people in our lives who will be there for us, especially in matters such as menstruation and PCOS, which are dictated by nature.

Imagine being with someone who does not understand or invalidates your experiences. I urge women to prioritise getting to know their partners well, particularly their emotional intelligence, before committing to a relationship.

Men should also show support during menstruation. Instead of making insensitive comments, they can educate themselves.

Learn about menstrual health and its effects to be a thoughtful brother, husband, father, or friend. Offer emotional support and empathy, help with household chores and errands if needed, and encourage open conversations to end the stigma associated with periods.

By doing so and being more considerate, men can create a more comfortable and supportive environment for women. The world can be kinder to women—we deserve it!

Rabi Ummi Umar is an intern at PRNigeria and a student at Al-Hikmah University, Ilorin. She can be reached via rabiumar058@gmail.com.

By Rabi Ummi Umar

Recently, I found myself in the heart of Abuja—a bustling city surrounded by the everyday hustle and bustle of urban life. The streets were alive with activities—commercial drivers calling out for passengers, pedestrians hurrying to their destinations, and the overall pace of the city reflecting the urgency of modern life.

Though an intern, I was there with some female staff writers of Economic Confidential, a tabloid published by Image Merchants Promotion (IMPR) Limited. This, however, was not for leisure or sightseeing but for an official assignment—to shoot an episode of ‘Economy on the Streets’ for the Economic Confidential’s YouTube channel. Yet, what caught my attention was something that went beyond the task at hand, revealing a deeper issue about women’s involvement in public discourse.

As a budding communicator, this ‘field trip’ was more than just an opportunity to write news stories, features, or opinion pieces. It was a chance to extend my skills beyond the written word, to engage directly with the public through a street interview—what we call a vox pop—to gauge Nigerians’ thoughts on the contentious issue of the reintroduction of fuel subsidies.

It was also a chance to experience the realities of journalism beyond the confines of a newsroom. To my surprise, I noticed that most of the respondents were men. Conversely, women seemed reluctant to lend their voices or share their opinions on the matter.

At first, I rationalised that perhaps the women were in a hurry, given that it was a weekday. I thought they might not have a few minutes to discuss Nigeria’s pressing economic challenges as more important tasks were awaiting them.

However, as the seconds, minutes, and hours ticked by and the number of women who declined to participate grew, it became clear that they did not want to discuss our nation’s challenges.

This realisation took me back to last year when I was on my Student Industrial Work Experience Scheme (SIWES) with News Digest, an online media platform. I was invited as a guest on WE FM (106.3), a radio station in Abuja, to discuss “Women Participation in Politics.”

During that discussion, I argued passionately that there were insufficient opportunities for women to engage in politics, and I stood firmly by my belief. Yet, a year later, my experience during the street interviews has led me to question this stance. The opportunities, it seems, are indeed out there.

On the streets, even though these women were not holding political office themselves, they had the chance to contribute to public discourse. Yet, they chose not to. This realisation troubles me because it raises questions about women’s participation in public life—whether in political offices or the organised private sector.

We frequently hear discussions about gender equality, inclusivity, roles, and the presence of women in positions of power. However, when we look deeper, we might find that men are not the primary reason women like myself remain on the periphery of public discourse or power.

As women, we may contribute to our marginalisation by refusing to seize opportunities, even when they are right before us. This brings me to a few questions we should all consider: Are women not given opportunities because men seek to dominate?

Are women holding themselves back because society expects them to remain confined to domestic roles? Are we, as women, making efforts to break free from these constraints? Or are we simply holding ourselves back?

While I leave these questions for you to ponder, I want to call on women to recognise that opportunities exist to showcase our capabilities, our capacity to deliver, and much more. We should strive to reach our goals based on what we have to offer.

But we must start somewhere, even if it’s as simple as participating in a street interview. Your voice is vital to society’s prosperity. No matter how insignificant you may think your contribution is, your participation in various aspects of society, community, and the nation at large matters more than you realise. Your voice truly matters.

Rabi Ummi Umar is a student of Al-Hikmah University, Ilorin. She can be reached at rabiumar058@gmail.com.

By Aisha Musa Auyo

Come, let me share some secrets with you, my sis. Sure, many will not accept it as a fact that most men dislike heavy makeup and artificial stuff. Of course, like in every rule, there are exceptions. So, know your man. 

My opinion is based on the fact that you can look very classy, elegant, and feminine without using hard makeup or loud stuff. Yes, in most cases, decent men prefer the natural looks of the opposite gender.

Gurl (this also applies to you, bro.!), neatness is paramount in all cases. Bathe at least twice a day. Take time to wash your underarms, under and between busts, thighs, and navel. Pay attention to your feet, areas around your ears, and between your face and neck, and wash down with warm, clean water.

Brush your teeth at least twice daily, and floss at least once daily. Shave at least once a week. Use deodorant at least once a day. Use alum or lemon on your armpit if deodorant is expensive for you. Once in a week, try to exfoliate your lips. Dry, cracked lips are a turnoff. Mix sugar and olive oil to form a scrub, then rub on your lips for a few minutes. Clean with a wipe. Repeat the process more than once a week if you have dry skin. The result is something I consider a subject for another day. But know for now that moisturized and soft lips are more alluring than lipstick-painted lips.

You see, exfoliation or scrubbing is very essential. Our body releases new cells daily, and the old cells die. Ordinary soaps do not exfoliate. This is where bath salts, bath sugars, scrubs, and exfoliating body washes come in. These products ensure the dead cells leave your skin and let the new cells breathe. This will make your skin look fresher, softer and younger. This will make you neat and glow. Just as it will help eradicate bad smells from your body.

If money is a problem, there are cheaper options. Lemon. Squeeze lemon in your bathing water. It helps to remove dirt and impurities from your skin. It also removes all bad smells and won’t let your sweat smell during the day. It also lightens your complexion and leaves your bathroom smelling fresh. Scrubbing your body with salt once in a while similarly does the trick. Henna (lalle) also helps exfoliate, soften, and remove bad smells from the skin.

On perfume, this is tricky, especially for us Muslims, because our religion frowns at women using it. So, deodorant, cool body spray, and a kullaccam will work when you go out. When you’re home, if you like, bath with perfume. If you’re married, check with your husband what kind of perfume he prefers on you. 

Another very important self-care is manicures and pedicures. You see, the first thing people, both men and women, subconsciously observe in your body is your feet. It’s crucial, therefore, to work on your toes and fingers. Make sure your nails are trimmed. Learn how to cut cuticles and shape your nails. If you can afford it, go to the salon for expert service.

Long nails are a turnoff, please! As a Muslim, please use natural henna—black, red, or maroon- if you must colour your nails. If you’re married, check if your husband likes it before you do. “Kada garin neman gira a rasa ido.’

Let’s talk about the feet. Our feet must be clean, regardless of the weather or your skin type. If you have dry skin and cracked feet, make time every day to exfoliate the dead cells, and apply shear butter after every ablution and bath. That will soften the feet and make it look neat. Also, use socks regularly. If you’re lucky your feet don’t crack, make sure they’re always dirt-free and moisturized. Cracked, dirty, and dry feet are a turnoff. Soft, moisturized, neat feet are a turn-on.

For your palms, always use moisturizers after washing or using water. Because we ladies touch water often, this results in dryer, harder palms. Coconut oil, olive oil, and shea butter help with moisture and softness, but they darken the skin. Let’s look for hand creams made specifically for hands to overcome this. If you can’t afford one, vaseline also works wonderfully well.

Dear lady, the choice of body cream or moisturizer you use significantly affects your life. I’m not exaggerating. Girls who are comfortable with their skin colour, in other words, who do not bleach their skin, clearly exhibit contentment in how our Lord created them. They exude confidence, and they don’t smell like rotten fish when they’re under the sun. These ladies have almost the same skin colour throughout their bodies and do not have to hide their palms and toes. 

Don’t disobey your Lord and harm your body to attract men. Decent men prefer women in their natural colours. Moreover, while your skin colour or body may attract a man, it’s your character that will keep him.

Universally, that’s in time and space. Women have always known that our hair and how we take care of it play a huge role in our looks and attractiveness. 

Wash your hair regularly. Plait your hair, or style it in ways that accentuate your beauty. (Some ladies look better with braids, while others look better without them.) Or, in ways your husband prefers… if you’re married.

Wash your hair with shampoo and conditioner regularly, steam it monthly, and dry it after washing. Find a good-smelling hair moisturizer, or use natural oils that smell nice. You can add a drop of oil perfume to your hair creams or oils. When you’re home, please allow your hair to breathe. 

Earrings are the basic jewellery. If you can, necklaces and waist beads are perfect additions. Some people like anklets, nose piercings, bracelets, wristwatches, rings, etc. Please don’t overdo it—it’s classless! Keep it simple and modest.

When it comes to clothes, decency should never be compromised. But please don’t look like a granny when you’re a teen or even anything less than 60 years old. Even the grannies are now slaying—they don’t care for anybody! 

Tight clothes are bad for you religiously and health-wise. They make you look cheap and classless. Even hygiene-wise, tight clothes are bad. People who wear tight clothes smell! Yes, because the human body needs to breathe, and tight clothes hinder that process. 

Avoid shouty colours or mismatched colours when dressing. Don’t interchange corporate dressing with wedding attire. Dress nicely and appropriately for each occasion, and don’t take any outing for granted. You don’t know who you’ll see or meet. The phrase ‘Dress the way you want to be addressed’ is something you should always hold on to. 

Accessories like shoes and bags are available at different prices. You know better than me what you can afford, but they’re a must-have for ladies. Wear shoes that will not embarrass you, that are comfy, and that will not splash sand on your feet. We are in Nigeria. When they say there are shoes for car owners and trekkers, understand that it’s nothing but the truth. Shoe shining and polishing are not only for men. Please keep your shoes and bags neat.

Let me stop here… I’m tired… I’ll conclude with this statement. “No matter how neat and beautiful you are, you sink if your character stinks. In other words, there ain’t no need telling it: with a character that stinks, you’re finished, girl. So work on your personality more than your physicality”.

You are welcome.

Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A wife, a mother, a homemaker, caterer, parenting, and relationship coach. She can be reached via aishamuauyo@live.co.uk.

By Aisha M. Auyo

I asked a medical doctor a weird question. It went like this: “Dr, you have been seeing all sorts of women daily—beautiful, voluptuous, and many more. How do you know which one to love or choose as a spouse?”

His reply is the most sensible thing I read today, he said:

“Because we have been seeing a lot of them, we have seen all sorts of them, we have realised that it is not the body or the face that matters… besides, everything is almost the same… It is the brain and the heart that varies. That’s what matters most for decent guys, anyway. ” 

The same applies to university lecturers. They have seen them all, fresh students every year. My Dad once told me that of all the thousand female students he taught at that time, my Mom caught his attention because of her intelligence, manners, and decency. 

So my sisters…..  

Work on your personality more than your physicality. 

Work on your manners. 

Work on your attitude. 

Work on your social skills. 

Work on your emotional intelligence. 

Work on your neatness. 

A great body can be bought; Liposuction is everywhere. 

‘Kayan ciko’ are everywhere. 

Fair skin can be bought, and bleaching and skin lightening are everywhere. 

Fine faces can be bought; plastic surgery is everywhere. 

But good manners, patience, humility, intelligence, empathy, a clean heart, etc., can never be bought. They’re priceless. 

That’s what will distinguish you from the others. That is what will keep a man glued to you. That’s what will help you stay married.

By Aisha Musa Auyo

Hormones influence or determine a considerable percentage of our behaviours and physical appearance. If we say our hormones are what makes us, we won’t be exaggerating. Yet, we hardly discuss it. Yet very few know about it; very few believe in its impact. From genetics to behavioural scientists to physiologists and psychologists, these specialists believe in the power of hormones, especially in women. I will try my best to write in the simplest language possible so that I will not suffocate you with medical jargon.

Hormones are chemicals that coordinate different bodily functions by carrying messages through the blood to the various organs, the skin, muscles, and other tissues. Hormones are the signals that tell your body what to do and when to do it. There is no gainsaying, therefore, that hormones are essential for life and health. So far, scientists have identified over 50 hormones in the human body.

 Hormones control many bodily processes, including metabolism, homeostasis (constant internal balance), such as blood pressure and blood sugar regulation, fluid (water) and electrolyte balance, body temperature, growth and development. Hormones also affect sexual function, reproduction, sleep-wake cycle, and mood.

With hormones, a little bit goes a long way. Because of this, minor changes in levels can cause significant changes to your body and lead to certain conditions that require medical attention. The levels and nature of hormones in the body correlate with our moods, sense of smell, body odour, taste buds, thinking faculty, energy, and looks. 

In this week’s outing, I will start with women, as they are the gender whose hormones have a greater influence and impact on their lives. If you have a woman in your life, regardless of your relationship with her, know that hormones are constantly influencing her. 

Growing up and transitioning into a woman is a roller-coaster of emotional and physical changes. There will be noticeable differences in her attitude, looks, behaviour, and even how she smells. There will be irritability, sadness, and heightened or lowered confidence.

Women have heightened hormonal influence during certain periods. When she grows from a girl to an adult, when she’s ovulating, and at different times when she is on her monthly period. There is a hormonal influence in pregnancy when she is breastfeeding and when she is using hormonal contraceptives. There is yet another hormonal issue at menopause, just as it is at adolescence. 

A few days to menstrual onset (ovulation periods), a woman experiences a libido boost, appetite changes, heightened sense of smell and mood changes…usually in a good mood. But, during the onset of their period, a woman will experience cramps, dizziness, bloating, acne breakout, feeling tired, and mood swings…sadness, anger and anxiety. It isjust a roller-coaster of feelings and emotions. 

When pregnant (this should be a topic of its own), a woman is most likely to experience, among other things, morning sickness, dizziness, nausea, and vomiting; strange food cravings; fatigue; heightened sense of smell; forgetfulness; lack of patience; and crying for no explicit reasons. Bro, be patient and empathic; it’s beyond her. 

Then there comes the postpartum and breastfeeding period, which is associated with crying, difficulty in making decisions, lack of sleep or oversleeping, tiredness, mood swings, etc. Not infrequently, a woman may fall into depression at this phase. 

Then, there are issues relating to the use of contraceptives. These range from headache, migraine, acne, weight loss or gain, hair loss, smooth skin, dryness, and mood swings. The signs are numerous, depending on the woman and the type of contraceptives used.

Then, there is the advent of menopause, which comes with palpitations, hot or cold flashes, difficulty sleeping, tiredness and irritability, dryness and a whole lot of other changes.

Have you ever noticed how a woman can be so lovely today and nasty the next day for no reason? Have you ever seen a woman cry just like that? Have you ever seen a woman with clear skin today and skin full of rashes or acne tomorrow? Have you ever noticed that a woman can be thin today and bloated the day after? Know that these amazing, dramatic transformations result from the interplay of hormones. You have to be tolerant, understanding, and kind.

As a husband, father, son, brother, or friend, you need to understand the complexities of hormones in women to a certain level. This will help you make informed decisions about certain behaviours. This might help explain some oddities in women’s behaviour you experience or notice. The knowledge will help you and be the person she needs during those trying periods.

Sometimes, all a woman needs is space, silence, patience, kind words, empathy, massages, or a shoulder to cry on (that is, if she’s your wife, yauwa!). Chocolates, a listening ear, a credit alert (LOL!), hot tea, a pain killer, or taking her on a walk may be the healing or soothing balm.

The above is just a summary of what women go through. I will expound on each stage in subsequent editions, each stage as a topic of itself, and see how we can navigate through each milestone of hormonal symphony and the complexities of women’s health and emotions. Insha Allah.

Dear reader, but do you know that men, too, have hormones and emotional issues which we overlook? From childhood to adolescence and adulthood, men also come under certain societal expectations and pressure to suppress their feelings. I will try to summarise that in my next article.

Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology, a wife, a mother of three, a homemaker, a chef, and a parenting/ relationship coach. She can be reached via aishamuauyo@live.co.uk.