By Salma Yakubu
I sat on a bench under a neem tree behind the Faculty of Education lecture hall. I stared emptily at nothing in particular.
‘Hey! Karima!’ My classmate, Siyama, snapped me out of my thoughts.
‘What are you thinking?’ She scowled as she sat down.
‘The test, I hadn’t studied well.’ I complained.
‘You should have studied enough. You know that lecturer is very tough, he wouldn’t hesitate to fail you. Plus, you are not so good in his course.’ She blamed me.
‘Shut up!’ I roared in anger while already in remorse.
‘I should have studied.’ I murmured to myself.
I was still nursing the pain when Aliyu, the class rep, walked up to us. Aliyu is a young and vibrant student of average height and in his early twenties.
‘Oh, you guys are here; I have been looking for you.’ He said.
‘What’s up?’ I held my breath to hear if it was about another test, assignment, or attendance.
‘Mr. Bashir, statistics, asked me to call you.’ He said. My heart skipped a beat.
‘Why?’ I asked before I sprang to my feet. ‘Did I do anything wrong?’ I enquired.
‘I don’t know. He only said I should call you.’ He replied. I turned to Siyama, who was also in awe.
‘Okay, Aliyu, I’m right behind you.’ I threw my stuff inside the bag and started walking. Siyama followed me.
Two lecturers were leaving as we got to Mr Bashir’s office door. Immediately the door closed back, I knocked.
‘Come in’, Mr Bashir responded. So Siyama and I entered the office.
‘Karima only,’ he said without looking at either of us. Siyama and I exchanged a glance as she slammed the door behind her.
‘Sit down,’ he pointed at a sofa across the room. I sat anxiously and clutched tightly to my bag.
‘You…called…for me…sir.’ I stammered.
‘Yes, Karima.’ He removed his spec, dusted it off and placed it in the spec case. ‘You failed my statistics test, do you know that?’ He furrowed.
‘Yes,’ I nodded. He sighed.
‘You score seven out of twenty points. This is going to affect your grade. How do you plan to stop that from happening?’ He focused his eyes on me. I lowered my gaze in silence. ‘Study harder for exams?’ He asked.
‘Yes,’ I mumbled.
He chuckled. ‘You lost thirteen marks. That’s too much. You are most likely to fail the exam.’ He leaned forward. ‘But you have nothing to worry about. I will help you.’ He then retracted. I breathe in relief. ‘You know Karima; we have an unfinished business.’ He gave me a flirty stare. I felt chunks in my throat.
The very day Mr Bashir introduced himself as the statistics lecturer was the day he invited me for lunch, and that was in the first semester. I turned him down. And we never talked about it again. I have forgotten or almost forgotten we had such an encounter. Even the following morning, when we met in school, he didn’t say a word to me.
‘Are you with me?’ He lurched me out.
‘Yes, sir’
‘I still like you,’ he walked over to where I sat. I swallowed hard as he leaned in. ‘Karima, you are beautiful and smart, but statistics break your egos.’ He laughed devilishly. ‘ In your last result, you got “E”. Do you know what comes after an “E” grade?
I was dumbfounded.
“Fail.” He said as if that means a well-deserved medal of honour. ‘You might repeat the same course.’ He squirmed. ‘Aren’t you worried about not graduating with your classmates?’ I lowered my gaze again. ‘I’m not only going to help you pass the exam but also provide you with a private tutor.’ He dropped his contact card beside me and returned to his chair. ‘Think about it.’ He said and sat down. ‘Oh! My bad! What will I offer you?’ He snapped out.
‘Nothing, I’m okay. Thank you.’ I faked a smile, and thankfully, just then, my phone buzzed.
‘What is vibrating?’ He asked.
‘My phone.’
Before I could answer it, the phone hung.
‘My friend is calling. We’re going home.’ I told him.
‘Oh, I am sorry to have kept you here.’ He slid out three thousand Naira notes from his pocket and forwarded them to me. ‘Please, fare with this,” he said.
‘I have transport fare, thank you.’ Then, in astonishment, he said okay, and I left.
By the time I got home, it was past six o’clock. My Abba was sitting in the parlour, his attention on the television when I entered. I greeted him and headed to my room.
‘Karima,’ Abba called out. I stopped halfway. ‘I’ll like to talk to you later.’
‘Okayyyyyyyyyyyy,’ I said.
After a cold shower, I sat on the bedside drawer, towelling myself. My phone buzzed inside the handbag. While I was trying to locate the phone, Mr Bashir’s contact card fell off. I picked the contact card up and plugged my phone into charging while I threw on a long multicoloured chiffon gown and went to Abba. His focus was no longer on the television but a book on his hands. Edge of politics, I read the book title as I sat on the fur carpet by his side.
‘How are studies?’ Abba asked while his eyes were still searching on the book. How can I tell him the truth? Aren’t that studies fine?
‘Study’s fine,’ I lied. He shoved the book aside and turned to me.
‘Karima, you are doing well in a lot of things, especially your education. I’m proud of you.’ I smiled. He continued. ‘I want you to do whatever it takes to graduate with good grades. Don’t worry about a job; I am making arrangements for that. I don’t want you to fail, never.’ He said in a mixture of advice and threat.
This is the problem with Abba; he hates any excuse for failure. Did he know my academic challenges? No, he doesn’t. He consistently gives fare, feeds and if there is any need to buy, he gives the money. Abba thought he must have covered the basic problems in my studies. When I told him once about my difficulty in statistics, he laughed it off, saying that I was mumbling because I wasn’t paying attention and also hated the course. It was not true.
I also told Abba about my coursemate, who was willing to tutor me freely, but he rejected the idea. I know he hated to hear me call a male my friend.
‘You see this male tutor? They are fake. They will drive you into falling in love with them and end up messing with you. In the end, you will lose both love and tutoring. The same with girls, too. Don’t be too close; else, you will end up homosexual. You are just 19. Have you ever imagined what your life would look like when you let a boy or girl a mess with you?’ He would say, and I would squirm.
Since my Abba doesn’t like close relations with the same or opposite gender other than Siyama, who was his friend’s daughter, everyone is either a university mate, department mate, neighbour and nothing special.
‘Do you understand what I’m saying?’ His voice drew me back to our discussion.
‘Yes.’ I replied.
‘God bless you.’
‘Thank you, Abba. Can I join Umma in the kitchen?’
‘Yes, she’ll need you.’
‘Take this to your father.’ She served hot jollof rice and beans on a soleplate and arranged them on a tray.
I carried Abba’s food to the dining room, where he asked me to share the food with him. That was the most thing I derived joy from, eating with my father. I left the food halfway and told him I would observe Isha’i prayers.
I went to my room, performed ablution and observed my prayers. Still, on the prayer mat, I picked up a book from the bedside drawer to read; the thought of Abba’s words pinched me at heart. I nurse them deeply. My father might not be a rich Dad, but he was always on top of his responsibilities—a prestigious father. I would not want to either disappoint or do what he disapproved of me. But, the fear of statistics lingered at my heart and let blood flow on my face. I know or perhaps believe there is no way to pass the exam; worse, I scored so low on the test. Yet, my father saw the light and prospect in me, and I must keep that glittering.
Since I couldn’t disobey Abba to have a good tutor and Mr Bashir is offering to help me, I have no option but to take the first step. So I picked the card from my bedside drawer and typed the number on my phone. I managed to keep my breath steady and dial-up. It rang for few times before he answered.
‘Hello!’ I propped up. ‘Karima speaking.’ I listened to him ask which Karima, but he didn’t. Instead, he was awed.
‘How are you?’ He asked calmly.
‘Sir, I don’t want anything to delay my graduation, not even statistics.’ I mumbled. He chuckled and paused a bit.
‘Calm down. You shouldn’t fear. By the way, my birthday is tomorrow, and I’m inviting you. Will you come?’ He asked.
I mulled for a while before I answered him. ‘Yes’
‘I will send my address tomorrow.’ He said. I hung the phone and breathed in. By then, the sweat on my palms turned cold.
The following day, I woke up and, as usual, did chores. Then, I went to collect clothes from Umma’s tailor before Kaduna’s hot sunset.
At 4 p.m., I sat in front of my mirror and applied cake powder, eye pencil and lip-gloss. Then wore a long black-stoned abaya and a yellow veil. Finally, I sprayed body perfume and picked my handbag.
I went to meet Umma, reading in her room.
‘Umma, I’m off to Siyama’s house.’ I said to her.
‘All this dressing for Siyama’s house?’ She asked. I knew she suspected nothing, but she always thought I sophisticated dressing for simple outings.
‘Siyama’s friend is having a birthday, so she invited me.’ She nodded and said, ‘Be careful. Return safely.’
‘Thank you, Umma.’ I smiled and left.
That is one thing my parents have for me: trust. They never question nor stop my outings. They believe I would never hurt them.
The cab drove me from Unguwan Rimi to Kigo road. We stopped at Balin hotel while I re-checked the address to ensure I was in the correct location. I brought out my phone and dialled Mr Bashir’s up.
‘I’m at Balin hotel.’ I said as he answered the phone.
‘I’m coming,’ he responded from the other end.
So, I paid and freed the tricycle rider.
After a few minutes of standing and clutching my handbag, a car hunk and stopped beside me, when I looked, it was Mr Bashir.
‘Salam Alaikum’, he greeted, winding the glass down. Without a word, I hurriedly sat in the car. I wouldn’t want anyone to recognize me, and thankfully, the car glass had a tint. He drove off to the end of the lane and cornered into the last street. It was two minutes drive into a three-bedroom flat. He parked the car at his garage, and we came out.
‘Welcome’, he said and led the way into the house. I was expecting to meet people, a lot of them. Thus, I arranged to shield myself to avoid running into somebody I knew.
‘Where are your guests? There isn’t seem to be anybody here.’ I rolled my eyeballs around.
‘On my birthday this year, I decide to invite only you.’ He smiled sheepishly. My heart skipped a beat.
‘Only me? No, I can’t stay with you in this building.’ I protested. He ended up reminding me of why I was there in the first place. My body chilled down instantly, and I followed him into the house. He walked me straight to the dining room. We sat down. Varieties of food and drinks were already served.
‘Is today truly your birthday?’ I asked doubtfully.
‘Yes,’ he replied without looking in my direction. ‘I only need both of us here. That’s why I invited only you.’
‘Happy birthday.’ I said.
‘Thank you. Shall we eat?’ He asked. I told him I was full, but he insisted I eat the food.
After the meal, I thanked him and stood to take my leave. I had expected him to see me out, but instead, he grabbed my wrist and yanked me to the sitting room.
‘I have something for you.’ He whispered. With his hands wrapped around my waist, lumps began to grow in my throat. One of his hands still held me while he used the other one to take a shopping bag from the centre table. We sat down while he unwrapped the stuff. It was a brand new phone, a wristwatch and shoes. I liked them, but I didn’t want to take them from him.
‘It is from my heart. You must go with them.’ He said. I had explained that my parent would kill me if I went home with the gifts. I started to leave, but he came behind and held me tightly. I went numb. Before I could bring myself to know what was happening, he threw me to the cushion and pinned me there. I tried to wriggle but couldn’t.
‘Stop!’ I barked, but he didn’t stop pulling my clothes.
When he finally loosened me, I ran home panting as if a dog chased me. Umma asked what was wrong, but I went to my room without a word. I could feel her eyes taking a step with me, but I cared less. I went straight to the bathroom, showered and lay on the bed.
‘Today, I broke my parent’s trust. I won’t be that same saint they had as a daughter.’ I wept the whole night.
I didn’t come out the following day, so Umma came to my room and asked why I hadn’t prepared for school. I quickly wiped my tears and sat up.
‘I can’t go for lectures today. My body aches; I have a fever, Umma.’ I explained even before she asked. She sat beside me on the bed and felt my temperature with the back of her hand.
‘Your temperature isn’t so bad. Anyway, get up and get some drugs and see if it subside, or else we go to the hospital. I’m going out right now.’ She dropped some money in my bedside drawer and left.
I breathed down in relief. It would be easy for Umma to decipher what was going on if I made any move. But, if she saw my gait, I’d be doomed because I haven’t been able to walk since I woke up that morning. My laps were sour and numb.
I could not talk to, text, or call Mr Bashir ever since the incident happened. And when he does, I never replied.
A few weeks or about a month later, I began to have itches around my lower abdomen. Then, it developed into a burning sensation, reddish rashes and lumps, and waist pain. Finally, it got worse that I couldn’t walk or urinate effortlessly without crying from the burning sensation. I told Umma about it.
‘How could you be so careless?’ She struck at me. ‘Let me see.’ She opened my legs, and I saw the situation by herself. She screamed out. ‘Is this what you have been living with?’
‘I’m sorry, Umma.’ I cried.
‘Let’s go to the hospital right now.’ She helped me walk down to her car and drive off.
We met a gynaecologist at the hospital. He immediately took a swap from me to the laboratory. After some time, he returned and asked Umma to follow him. Umma returned with tears. She sniffed and shook her head.
‘Umma, why are you crying?’ I asked.
‘Karima, you have gonorrhoea.’ She replied. My heart skipped a bit.
‘Mr. Bashir has finished me.’ I wailed.
Umma paused and faced me. ‘Who is Mr Bashir?’ She asked with curiosity. ‘What did you have with him?’
I narrated everything to her. I saw Umma weakened to her bones. But, even without a word from her, I knew she was pressing herself not to injure me.
‘Forgive me, Umma.’ I cried.
‘Where is he? Where is the dan iska [rascal]?’ She yelled.
‘He should be in the school.’ I said.
She stomped out of the ward.
By the time she came back, it was with my Abba. I almost peed on the bed. I threw my face away in shame.
‘Karima, I heard what you did.’ He turned his back to me. ‘I hope you know; I will never trust you?’ He said with all bitterness. ‘The so-called Mr Bashir whom you trust as your statistics god, the one who put you in this condition, has escaped my retribution.’
I was surprised but dared not ask him. Umma left the room as Abba set to say the final words. ‘He’s dead. The bastard is dead.’ He raged.
Cold ran down my spine.
‘What happen to him?’ I asked.
‘A tanker fell on his car yesterday as he was leaving the school.’ Abba said.
‘Noooooooo’ I screamed out. Abba’s heartbreak was boldly written in his eyes.
‘He can’t ruin me and die like that.’ I cried.
For the first time in my life, my parents were angry with me. Unfortunately, that would be the price for disobedience and too much fear. But, If Abba wasn’t too strict, I would have been tutored by my classmates, and things wouldn’t have been this way.
‘Abba, I was ready to do anything for you, to make you proud.’ I said while holding tightly unto his hand. That was when I saw tears roll down his cheeks.
‘I’m sorry, Karima. I cause this upon you.’ He held me, too.
‘Your exam is next week. I hope you will be able to read, okay?’ Abba said.
Salma Yakubu is the author of Behind The Moon. She can be reached via princessbeautynigeria111@gmail.com.