Men

By Sabo Ibrahim Hassan

Did I just say Religious Domestic Violence? Of course, you heard me very right. It may though initially sound quite odd and obfuscated, but when you allow it to sink and give the brain some time to analyze the phrase critically, it will indeed become your today’s take-home. While countless homes unknowingly suffer from this type of domestic abuse, notably in religious geographies, the need to unveil and tackle this type of intimate partner violence becomes an inevitable obligation.

According to the United Nations (UN), Domestic Violence, also called “domestic abuse” or “intimate partner violence”, can be defined as a pattern of behaviour in any relationship used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats that influence another person. This includes behaviour that frightens, intimidates, terrorizes, manipulates, hurts, humiliates, blames, injures, or wounds someone. 

In line with the definition above, we can say that religious-domestic violence refers to the use of half-baked understanding or rather misconception of religious command, painted with sentiment, to inflict a sense of insecurity, and manipulate or frighten the psychology of partner, to ultimately have their total control.

The ill-conceived interpretation and manipulation of some scriptural verses is the primary cause of this religious-domestic violence. However, the issue remains controversial because many deem it the only way to sustain their power and maltreatment against their intimate partners. Besides, our inability to question any irrational interpretation of any scripture, simply because the compass of our thought has been disoriented, hence forced to think in lower rather than higher resolution, has chiefly contributed to the escalation of this menace. Meanwhile, we are not challenging the scripture rather the unfair interpretation of it. Additionally, the fear that you can be easily given your certificate to hell by some so-called custodians of religion has made this type of domestic violence seemingly undefeatable.

The effect of this pseudo-domestic violence is such apparent that it has stolen the joy and peace of many homes, leaving most women helpless with severe psychological trauma. Moreover, the effect is not restricted to the primary victim. It also affects the closest people to the victim, like children, affecting their psychology and perspective. Hence, the fear, insecurity, and misconception of the sacred meaning are passed through different generations, leaving potential victims banged up in fright and uncertainty.

Religious domestic violence often cuts across mental, economic, and psychological boundaries. For example, in a situation where one, due to his badly thought-out interpretation, renders one’s wife inferior, with no regard in decision making, it becomes psychological. Similarly, when one marries or bears children more than one’s capability, that certainly involves both the mental and economic nature of domestic violence. The superiority of men over women lies in their ability to protect them with all their might, provide for them, support them with all they have, and be a shoulder for them to lean on, anywhere, any time.

Rational and fair explanations of some sacred commands, notably those related to marriage, should be the priority of any society that wants to see the end of this menace. That reminds me of a viral video of a woman perceived to be a scholar, preaching to some Muslim women that, should their husbands slap them, they should be patient and respectful enough to, perhaps, kneel and ask for forgiveness while pretending like nothing though happened. I still can’t see any rationale behind her counsel, let alone relevance. Authorities should inexcusably halt such fake scholars. Fair counter-explanation and how to morally react under situations of such nature should be explicitly taught and encouraged.

Until a reasonable explanation of the scripture becomes paramount, and an irrational interpretation painted with sentiment is scrapped, many homes will continue to live in agony. Many men will continue to hide under the masquerade of religious interpretation to maltreat their partners. Therefore, creating a paradigm shift in geographies affected by this unfair perspective becomes necessary. Sensitization is vital, and the responsibility to do that is collective.

Know your religion and what it says, seek rational interpretation of the scriptures, and do not hesitate to question anything irrational.

Sabo Ibrahim Hassan sent this article via ibrahimsabohassan60@gmail.com.

By Abdullahi Adamu

Rape is dishonourable, immoral and sinful to humans and must be outrightly condemned by all. Everyone has a woman in their life – mother, wife, sister, niece, or daughter. We should understand that rape is a crime to the existence of humans and must be kicked out of this nation now.

It is dishonourable because it takes away the victim’s pride that has been raped and her skin engraved in a deep wound that may take years to heal.

It is immoral because society frowns at it as it goes against the general acceptable way and conduct in any given community. It is also sinful because it goes against the dictates of the creator and amount to stealing from the other person, the victim.

We have heard the government of Nigeria speak against it but with no pragmatic line of action. Instead, we have seen the hand of the law taking a long but slow road to this issue.

One of the challenges of rape is the low level of prosecution despite the high number of media-reported cases. As a result, some victims agree to ‘settle the matter’ with the active connivance or encouragement of law enforcers. Although the Penal Code of Nigeria (Section 282), the Criminal Laws of Lagos State (Section 258), and Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act (Section 1) all present rape as a serious offence.

One unconfirmed report states that there have been only eighteen convictions in Nigeria! Most rape cases are never reported. Even some ladies find it difficult or impossible to tell their parents or guardian

Government should declare a national crisis on rape. Women and children safety must be paramount across Nigeria. The security agents should wake up and take a necessary measure on the issue of rape in the country and stop keeping mute like a  dog that cannot bark.

As a woman, you need to take it upon yourself to resist the societal attempt to objectify yourself. Your “womanness” is not by how good you conform to the stupid societal standard of you being an object. You’re a woman, and that alone validates your “womanness”

And as a man, you need to understand that the idea of being “a dog who respects no fair play in the game” only puts you on the same pedestal as animals. Your real trophy will come from the number of women you choose to treat strictly as “women” and not “objects” like society implores you to do. You’re a man, not a dog!

Rapists are criminals and should be prosecuted and convicted. Victims identities should be protected. Known rapists should be named and tagged. A special anti-rape police unit should be created in the Nigeria Police dominated by trained women.

Abdullahi Adamu can be reached via nasabooyoyo@gmail.com.