Chidinma

By Paul Liam

The true character of a person, they say, manifests in how they treat others, especially those at the margins of society or occupying the lower rungs of the socioeconomic ladder. Such treatment, when genuine, is not a performative exhibition of humility or kindness, but an empathetic demonstration of measuredness and good-naturedness that emanates from a place of deep consciousness, even in the most daunting and provocative times.

Not many people in privileged circumstances remember their humanity, yet there are exceptional individuals whose lives embody this rare virtue of genuine empathy. Chidinma Chidoka, Executive Director of the Athena Centre for Policy and Leadership and wife of Osita Chidoka, Chancellor of the Athena Centre and former Minister of Aviation and Aerospace Development, epitomises the humanity and dignity in leadership that Nigeria is in dire need of today.

Madam Chidoka is proof that you don’t need to know someone for a lifetime before they make an impact on your life. In person, I have only met her once, yet she is perpetually present in my consciousness even when she is not physically present. It didn’t take months or years for me to connect with her humanity; it happened in a single experience.

In the heat of planning a high-level convening, when it looked like everything was falling apart, she came in calmly and warmly and shepherded the team to excellence. She didn’t shout or call anyone out. She simply took charge and led from the heart, and everyone else followed. It turned out to be one of the most successful events, as the programme lead later confided.

Sometimes, all a team needs is a leader who listens with empathy.

I remember that encounter on the eve of the event, at the NOI Polls office in Mabushi. She sat down with grace when Sarah and I walked into the hall. She was holding a pen and notepad, taking stock of what had been done and what was left to be done. In the heat of the conversation, she gently said, “Everyone, calm down. Take a deep breath and relax,” when she sensed tension in the air.

What is telling about Madam Chidoka is not simply that she is humble and kind; it is her ability to serve as an icebreaker even in the most difficult situations, with a calmness that frightens fear itself. Even when she is visibly upset over certain lapses, she handles it with grace, never allowing her anger to dehumanise her staff or subordinates.

This is not to say that Madam Chidoka romanticises failure. It is to say that a genuine leader can discipline and show frustration while still preserving the dignity of everyone involved, not a common practice in the Nigerian workforce, where ordinary unit heads become lords unto themselves, bullying and abusing their subordinates, and where managers sometimes take joy in dehumanising colleagues to prove a needless point about authority.

Madam Chidoka’s life is a lesson in leadership. Even though she is usually away, many wish she were more involved and present, because with her, correction does not mean devaluing the person — it means helping them see the consequences of their actions in a way that makes them reflect on their errors. That is the power of leadership: being fully present even when absent.

If Nigerian leaders took a cue from Madam Chidoka and applied the same tact, wisdom and empathy in the administration of Nigeria, Nigerians would experience what it truly means to have a leader who listens, cares, and corrects with love. Showing empathy does not mean weakness; it means understanding that humans are capable of errors that can be corrected with dignity and respect.

This is why I admire Madam Chidoka. Her decency and grace overflow and are unmistakable. Everyone wants to be listened to; everyone wants to be counted and seen. Madam Chidoka creates an atmosphere where this happens with respect and dignity.

As Madam Chidoka turns 50 this year, I cannot help but reflect on her impact on me, despite having known her for less than a year. Her humanity gives me hope that Nigeria can still be a better place someday. If people like her held power, society would be a better place.

What is a leader without empathy?

So, Madam Chidoka, I am truly honoured to have met you and to watch you lead from the heart, with grace, without noise or airs. Thank you for listening, and for being the difference in the room.

I wish you many more beautiful years, filled with God’s abundant blessings.

Happy 50th birthday, Madam Chidinma Chidoka.

Paul Liam is the Media and Communications Officer of the Athena Centre for Policy and Leadership.