Lifestyle

By Aliyu Abdulkadir Atiku

The reaction of our people towards the mind-boggling story of Rakiya Moussa from Hadiza Gabon’s Talk Show shows how most of us are driven by emotion. Love has been an emotional rollercoaster, and so would it forever be. It is an accident (yes, you read me right)  usually triggered by interest. That’s why it dissipates with time as the material that interests the other party fade.

Delving wholly into someone’s heart is akin to driving a car with a blindfold  — know the right person to shoulder the repercussions! While I believe pure love does exist, that’s only if the objection did not cross beyond the confines of biological love. Besides the love of parents and siblings and close relatives, every love develops with certain circumstances depending on the preference of one another.

Moreover, whenever someone narrates a story that profoundly aches their psyche, they are more prone to leverage the story in their favour, thereby attracting public sympathy. I may not be precisely accurate to say the lady in question has once played with the mindset of a man in the name of love and ended up breaking his heart into smaller pieces than hers, but something near-equally enticing must’ve happened. Who knows? 

It’s high time we acknowledged that the interest we build in love often determines fate. Most, if not all, the love we complain of today is not intended to culminate in marriage but rather to speed up the time, have fun and quench some thirst. 

Aliyu Abdulkadir Atiku wrote via aliyuabdulkadiratiku48@gmail.com.

By Hajara Jaoji

Kudos to my paternal uncle (a family man) who cared for ten of us, including my mom, after our dad died in 2010. He ensured we had a sound, good life as if our late father were on earth. 

This story is about me, a young beautiful, under thirty years old single intelligent lady. I am the third in my family, with two older brothers, two younger brothers and four younger sisters.  I graduated from university and finished my youth service in 2020. I got a temporary job appointment (still on it) before,  during,  and after my youth service.

I used to help and take care of my siblings. Regarding education, I helped my eldest brother pay his professional exam fees. I also help my immediate older brother in pursuing his education at university. In addition, I covered all the expenses for the two junior brothers in their secondary school days. One is now a student at Aminu Kano College of Legal Studies (second year); the youngest brother recently graduated from secondary school and is looking forward to securing admission into the university for him. 

For the sisters, I took over my immediate younger sister’s expenses from my uncle. She’s a student at Bayero University, Kano (BUK). The other junior sister recently got admission to the School of Hygiene, Kano, while the two younger ones are secondary school students, and I still care for them all. 

Maturity is not by age but rather by the number of responsibilities one is able to shoulder. The best investment in life is to invest in human beings. I would rather walk around with old clothes and an old-fashioned phone, knowing that my siblings are busy getting qualitative education (modern and religious).

I  pray that God will increase my heart and bless my income so that I will help other non-blood-related orphaned children worldwide.

Hajara can be contacted via hajaraibrahimjaoji2019@gmail.com.

By Muhammad Suleiman Yobe.

Jigawa State Ministry of Health has confirmed 141 new cases of Cerebrospinal Meningitis that claimed eight lives in the state.

The ministry’s Permanent Secretary, Dr Salisu Mu’azu, confirmed the cases to Daily Reality in Dutse, the state capital.

The Permanent Secretary, who spoke through Dr Sabi’u Muhmmad of the disease control department in the ministry, outlined some areas in Kaugama, Birniwa, Gumel, and Maigatari Local Governments the cases were identified.

Dr Muhammad said 134 out of the 141 patients were infected by Neisseria Meningitis type C, and 6 contracted Strept pneumonia while one was identified with Neisseria Meningitis type X and among the cases identified, about eight death were recorded.

He said that all measures had been put in place to avert the pandemic. He further advised communities in the affected areas to be conscious and refer a suspected case to the nearest general hospital for all necessary action. The state government has procured free medication for patients with such cases.

By Bashir Abdu Muzakkari, Ph.D.

Kano State is the most populous state in Nigeria with a projection of over 20 million people. Access to quality and affordable healthcare services in Kano state have been a major challenge for many years which is due to various factors: inadequate healthcare facilities, shortage of healthcare professionals, poverty, and a lack of awareness and enlightenment among the people about the importance of healthcare. The incoming government under His Excellency, Abba K. Yusuf, has made a commitment to revive the healthcare system in the state through a range of initiatives.

One of the major initiatives is the recruitment of human resources for health sector. This is because, Kano has a shortage of healthcare professionals which has led to inadequate access to quality healthcare services. The government aims to attract more healthcare workers to work in the state by providing incentives and partnering with medical schools to train more healthcare experts locally.

The establishment of mobile clinics and ambulance services is also a key initiative of the government. These services will provide basic healthcare services to people living in remote areas who may not have access to healthcare otherwise. Ambulance services ensure that patients can be transported to hospitals quickly in case of an emergency, improving their chances of survival.

The free Maternal and Child Health (MNCH) program is another significant initiative. This program will provide free healthcare services to pregnant women and children under the age of five. This initiative will help in reducing maternal and child mortality rates in the state as more women will have access to free antenatal care and delivery services.

Primary healthcare services are also a priority for the government. The provision of basic healthcare services at the community level helps to reduce the burden on hospitals and clinics. This initiative will help people access healthcare services closer to their homes, especially those in remote areas.

Partnerships and donor coordination in the health sector are also critical. This initiative will lead to increased funding for healthcare services in the state and partnerships with international organizations and donors to improve healthcare infrastructure and services.

The renovation of major hospitals in the state will also be a crucial part of the incoming government’s efforts. This initiative will improve healthcare services and increase patient satisfaction. The government will also encourage private investment in the health sector to improve access to health services.

To make it easier for people, the government will set up a smart contributory health plan. The scheme is aimed at ensuring that people have access to healthcare services regardless of their income level. This initiative has helped poor and marginalized people all over the world to get better access to healthcare services.

Finally, the government will provide support for medical students and doctors in residency training. This ensures that healthcare professionals are adequately trained and prepared to provide high-quality healthcare services.

In conclusion, the incoming government under His Excellency Abba K. Yusuf’s leadership has shown a commitment to improving access to quality and affordable healthcare services in Kano state. If implemented by the government, the initiatives: recruitment of healthcare professionals, establishment of mobile clinics and ambulance services, free maternal and child health program, primary healthcare services, partnership and donor coordination in the health sector, renovation of major hospitals, private investment in the health sector, a contributory health scheme, doctor residency training and support for medical students will contribute to the improvement of healthcare services in Kano state. These initiatives have the potential to transform the healthcare system in the state and improve access to healthcare services for the people of Kano state.

Bashir A. Muzakkari, Ph.D. writes from Kano.

By Aisha Mahmud Yusuf

A few days ago, Dr Muhsin Ibrahim shared a story about a divorcee whose ex-husband refused to pay her medical bills. This is a familiar story as it happens to many people in our society.

I know of a divorced woman with three kids who has nowhere to go. Another woman was in an abusive marriage. When asked why she wouldn’t leave her husband, she said that he took care of her financial needs.

There’s also this woman whose husband was a serial womaniser and a drunkard, yet she couldn’t leave him because she has no means to sustain herself as her parents are dead.

In this society, a woman will be married off with no skill or education. Then get divorced and be left to start from scratch, thanks to the stigma attached to divorcees. No woman should be in an abusive marriage or miserable because she lacks financial independence.

Parents should let their girls finish at least secondary school and ensure they learn a skill. Those who finished higher institutions should be allowed to work or engage in business. The time to stay idle for women has passed. We should not let this poverty and misery cycle continue.

A woman should be financially independent regardless of her marital status. In case of divorce or the husband’s death, she should be able to care for herself and her children at least.

There’s no denying that our marriage institution needs reform, and the time to do so is now. Alhamdulillah, our scholars are now discussing it, but we need action. There is a need for sensitisation across rural as well as urban communities.

Girl-child education should be supported. There are many opportunities for learning that women can learn in the comfort of their homes, and they should be encouraged to do so.

 Aisha Mahmud Yusuf wrote via aishatyusuf63@gmail.com.

By Hamza Basiru Tsoho

My name is Hamza. My father had two wives.  The family comprised ten children from two different mothers. I was the eldest and the sixth in my mother’s room and the family, respectively. We were three in my mother’s room. 

One fateful day, our father, Alhaji Basiru, and his friends travelled to Katsina. Unfortunately, they had a ghostly road accident returning to Funtua, our hometown. Only one person survived. I was not enrolled in a public primary school at that time, not to talk of my younger brothers. Our mother became our father and mother; for she had taken all the responsibilities of the father. 

Glory be to the Sustainer.  Since before our father gave up the ghost, she had embraced some petty trade at home like selling ruwan leda (water, then, usually,  packed in a medium-sized leather after being cooled by a Randa ‘earthy pot’), roasted groundnut and selling food later. Her local restaurant, which was home, had become renowned in the locality and the neighbour then, as there were fewer restauranteurs in the area. 

She used to sell a bag of rice in two or three days in the comfort of her home. Over time,  competition increased. Sequel to that, she boiled to cook only a few measures of rice. I hawked the food on a silver tray when things started getting out of hand. The hawking was usually done after I returned from morning school and sold before late afternoon prayer (Asr), after which I had the opportunity to go to Islamiyya.

Furthermore, she ensured we had all we wanted so that we had the equal privilege to be educated like other children whose parents are alive. I can never forget when I told her what someone told me about what seemed to them like we were chasing education. He said one of his friends said, “If he (referring to me) must further his education, we will see who will sponsor him.” 

I felt sad even after narrating the story to our mother. She said, “You see, all these hardships that I endure are for you to be educated. I wish I had money to sponsor your education to university; I can spend any amount in my belongings for you to be educated”. She continued, “Although I do not have enough money to sponsor your education, I believe you will get someone to help you, and that is what I always pray for.” Whenever I remember that, I feel motivated. 

Fortunately, I sat for my SSCE and came out with flying colours. It was in the school of our neighbour and brother who sponsored a duo of us, my half-brother and I, in his school. May Allah (SWT) reward him and add to his wealth, amin. 

I then applied to Ahmadu Bello University (ABU) Zaria with a JAMB score of 252 for MBBS in 2020. After some years of waiting, due to Covid-19 and the lingering strike, I sat for post-UTME and scored relatively well. However, afterwards, I did not secure admission. That may be due to too much competition.

Still, I did not give up. I knew MBBS was, most of the time, not a one-off thing. So the following year, I sat for another one, prayed, and worked harder. This time around was Federal University Dutse (FUD) and still the MBBS. After all, I got it in that school in early January this year (2023). 

I owe my success to my dearest mother. As Prof. Abdalla  Uba wrote, her likes are the “REAL woman of substance.” In a few years, I hope to become a feather in her cap ( to be a professional medical doctor ), become an important person to society and save the lives of many victims.

Hamza Basiru Tsoho wrote from Funtua via hamzafta212@gmail.com.

By Aisha Musa Auyo 

The current trends of housemaids poisoning their employers are so sickening and scary. It happened countless times, and one can’t escape seeing one or two videos of such heinous acts. From sexual and physical to mental abuse, housemaids and their masters always have these issues in their relationship.

Whenever I encounter such an incident, I wonder why we continue to employ maids or why others leave their homes and work with people they hate. I had maids, and I grew up with maids in our house. But things are different now. People do not fear God. Humanity is lost. From the employee to employers, we are all at fault. 

As much as we agree, the maids are vulnerable and more likely to become victims. Unfortunately, these maids have upped their games, and the family employed them are becoming the victims. I’m not here to tell who is right or wrong, but I know that maids had abused us, taken advantage of our kindness, stolen from us, and deceived us to the extent that we decided we no longer have maids in our home.

Is it easy? No. Is it doable? Yes. We can bring an end to this problem. This issue is almost none existence in developed countries. Regardless of how educated or wealthy you are, cleaning your home is something one takes pride in doing, except for celebrities and rich people who employ the services of cleaning agencies who can hardly be cheated on and are less likely to betray too.

Another advantage of doing your house chore is that it helps you burn calories. Moving your body here and there, doing this and that makes you burn calories, makes you more energetic and more alert. As a result, you gain most of the advantages that come with doing exercise. Researchers have proven that active women around the home are healthier and less likely to be attacked with a certain illness than women who sit and do nothing all day.

As a homemaker, I’ve devised ways to survive without a maid, and with the help of Allah, I’m doing fine, if not great. I don’t have the constant apprehension of trying not to harm another person or be hurt by that person. The peace that comes with this feeling is priceless. 

1. Wake up earlier than others, or simply reduce your sleep hours. You will be surprised what an extra hour will do to make your work faster and your home cleaner. This can be an hour before everyone wakes up or an hour after everyone else sleeps. This will give you undivided attention to do whatever needs to be done.

2. Engage other family members. From your kids to whomever you are living with, allocate an age-appropriate chore to everyone, and ensure they do it. Even if it’s just cleaning up after their mess. A five-year-old can wash their plate and spoon. Can pick up toys, and older than/six years old can change the bedding, bathe themselves, and clean up after using the loo.

3. Clean as you go. From always picking up dirt and cleaning drops with wipes or napkins to washing dishes as you cook and immediately after eating, you will manage to have a clean space almost all the time.

4. Reduce the number of plates for dishing up. All those fancy food flasks, jugs, spoons, forks, saucers, knives, and big trays are not a must. Use only what you need except when you have visitors. I mostly dish up from the pot straight to the plate (there are elegant plating styles to please the eyes) or a plate and a bowl. Fruits could be served or arranged in a big bowl for everyone to eat together. Drinks can be served directly in used water bottles or paper cups, so you can just throw them away after use. 

5. Hire a one-day help at intervals. The point here is to get someone to help you with things you find hard and time-consuming. For example, laundry is my number one weakness, so we employed someone to do this, as the person doesn’t have to go and stay with us to achieve this. You can engage them weekly or bi-weekly, so they can help you with bulk cleaning, like removing the cobwebs, cleaning the compound, brushing sofas and rugs, and doing other deep cleanings that will help keep the house sane throughout the weeks. If this is not an option for you, you can just take the clothes to laundry services, as you will need all the help you can get.

6. The toilets. Depending on the number of people using it, a bathroom should be washed every other day. In between, ensure that every mess is cleaned after usage.

7. Fridges and freezers; the fridge can be cleaned and decluttered once a week, and the freezer can be cleaned once a month, depending on how you shop and cook.

8. Buy machines that will make your work easier. From a washing machine, a strong blender that can blend Tiger nuts and beans, a vacuum, a dishwasher, and many others, depending on your pocket size, you need all the help you can get. This is where your husband comes in. He should know that you made a sacrifice for the safety and sanity of the family, and you need his financial support and understanding.

9. Husbands, we need your support here. You see, all those allowances that should have been used to pay a maid, we need it, in two or three folds. We are the glorified house helps now. We keep the home set and safe. A token will motivate us to do better.

Verbal support is a must. Commend her efforts for taking good care of the homeland and everyone in the family. It’s not easy. I know it’s her duty, but one or two good words won’t hurt, you know?

Still, the husband should try to overlook when she sometimes errs in caring for the house. She is only human, with two hands. And if you can sometimes help with one or two things when you are less busy, that will be a plus for you and her, if you know what I mean.

If you can afford it, make water and electricity 2/47-thing. This is a necessity, not a luxury. She needs this to make work easier for her. Almost all the tasks at home need either electricity, water, or both.

10. Look for temporary help when you are sick or pregnant. Find someone reliable from your family or friends to help you before you get back on your feet.

11. If you can afford it, carve out a playroom or a play area for your kids so that they limit their playing objects to that place. Your living room should always be clean; a toy here and there will make that mission impossible.

12. Lastly, start the day with prayers and a potent stimulant. A hot black tea or coffee will do the trick. Trust me; you need it. If you are an addict like me, ensure you never run out of it. Also, habitually do the zikr – Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, and Wallahu Akbar – while you go around your daily routines. Our prophet taught Nana Fatima this when she asked him to give her a slave to help her with domestic chores. He said this would be best for her, here and hereafter. Listen to radio, podcasts, Quranic recitations, music, or audiobook. This will energise, entertain, educate and make housework less burdensome and easy for you.

My fellow woman, this piece is not for the sick, pregnant, lazy, or full-time working mom (9-5). If you are lucky with your maid, hold on to her, don’t come and kill yourself with work.

But if you are healthy, up and doing, have a flexible job, or not working at all, this is for you; congratulation. You will be rewarded immensely for this. You will have peace of mind, thus not constantly worrying about what’s happening in your house. You will raise a family who will learn to manage a home without depending on others. You won’t raise another person’s child at the expense of yours. And trust me, it won’t last forever. Once the kids are all grown, you can relax and do minor chores.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed and think of getting a maid, this idea will often cross my mind, especially if I can afford it. I ask myself, how will I cope if I live in a Western country? This resets me.

Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology, a mother of three, a Home Maker, a caterer and a parenting/ relationship coach.

By Muhsin Ibrahim

Social media has a double-edged function. It can uplift you or do the exact opposite. It largely depends on the people and pages you interact with. Worried about their teens’ mental health, Utah became the first US state to regulate teen social media access this week.

According to a BBC report, “under the measures enacted on Thursday, a parent or guardian’s explicit consent will be needed before children can create accounts on apps such [as] Instagram, Facebook and TikTok.”

People of all ages can have their mental health wrecked on social media if they aren’t cautious. Some of us crave attention or other’s validation. Thus, people do crazy things to get more “likes” or ensure what they do gets their friends’ applause. That is one thing some of your social media ‘friends’ will never grant you because they are not your friends in the true sense of the word. So, the earlier you understand this, the better.

Of course, you should not be carefree. Each culture has its codes, and so on. So, consider these etiquettes but worry not about people’s attention or endorsement. Social media friendship is primarily fake. Folks, especially teens, can’t understand this. Thus, trolling push them to lose self-esteem, hate themselves, and some take their lives!

I salute the government of Utah. I am sure more states in the US and elsewhere will do the same. However, as ours (in Nigeria) will likely not do the same anytime soon, parents and guardians should do more. As it’s very challenging to deny your kids access to social media, monitor whom they interact with and the pages they visit.

Muhsin Ibrahim lives and works in Cologne, Germany. He can be contacted via muhsin2008@gmail.com.

By Abi Carter

A 75-year-old man from the town of Bad Tölz in Bavaria has successfully sued his neighbour for causing a bit of a stink by lighting his barbecue with unusual irregularity. As RTL reports, the two men live in the same apartment building in the small town, and the one in the upstairs flat began to get frustrated with his neighbour, who apparently took to grilling food on an electric barbecue on his terrace almost every single day. 

The smoke and rising smell became “unbearable” for the upstairs pensioner, who was named by RTL as Heinz J. Together with his wife, he reported his neighbour to the local authorities, and the case ended up in court. 

While the first court threw out the complaint, the plaintiffs appealed and a second district court in Munich – after hearing testimony from around a dozen witnesses about the smell and smoke caused by the grill – eventually sided with the couple. 

The court has ruled that the downstairs neighbour is only allowed to light up his barbecue four times per month and added that he is not allowed to grill two days in a row on the weekend. If he does not comply, he risks being slapped with a 250.000-euro fine. 

Source: iamexpat

By Iranloye Sofiu Taiye

Gone are the days when most people in our society were contented with little they had and a time when we slept with our two eyes closed; it was a communal state characterised by collectivism. Then we were our brother’s keepers when travellers were safe to journey at night without any security threats, a time when meritocracy prevailed over mediocrity when criminals were not sympathised with, and an epoch when elderly people were highly respected and venerated. 

The situation is quite catastrophic currently with the substitution of collectivism with individualism. We are now dwelling in a society where everyone minds his business with no form of a collective check on the excesses of our people, especially when it comes to criminal actions. I can vividly recall when we were juveniles. Generally, few people had cars, televisions, fridges, and generators.

Children had fewer clothes bought during the festival period and ate the best dishes (rice and chicken) during the festive season or special events. Yet, we are not frustrated. On the contrary, both day and night, the entrance and doors to the house of the rich are wildly often open to play and eat together with their children, and the rich also tolerate their children eating together in the less privileged homes and vice-versa. 

Children always troop into the room of anyone who has a television whenever there’s light to watch movies and listen to the news with no intimidation from anyone. In our community, we are always proud and happy if someone has a car in our area because, during any festival, all children in that community will go to the praying ground with that car. No one is under a burden to amass what they couldn’t afford just to oppress others.

Society has a culture of contentment though people strive to improve their living conditions within their means. Owing to contentment and collectivism, the crime rate was meagre because the notion of ‘i-must-make-it-anyhow’, which has ravaged our societies today, isn’t the order of the day then.   

Pathetically, our society of today has been polarised and characterised by social class disparity anchored on economic buoyancy, where those who are wealthy don’t tolerate the less privileged. Thus, the relationship only exists if the poor are ready to kowtow to the dictate of the rich to advance their oppression. 

Youths commit crimes including; kidnapping, armed robbery, murder, rape, internet fraud, money ritual, and alcoholism because they want to wear designer, drive the latest cars, use the latest iPhones, and party with open Street girls. Sadly, many members of our society today are abetting this aberration and terror, demonising our communities of which the parents, guidance, religious clerics, and even the bad eggs within our security personnel and government officials are not left out.  

The rise in the rate of internet fraud, known as Yahoo-Yahoo! and kidnapping is one of the major causes of carnage across our communities today, but all our hands are at akimbo as if what’s happening is normal in our communities today even though we are all aware the perpetrators of this evils engage in human parts harvesting for money rituals.

Many young men on our streets today are into drug abuse, cultism, and alcoholism, which have continued to pose a severe threat to the peace and security of our communities, thus, increasing the crime rate. Our parents, known to be a model before, had soiled their integrity and never cared to know the source of the wealth of their children today. Alas, we now have the ‘yahoo-yahoo mother association’ organised to support their children who are into cybercrime and internet fraud spiritually. Let alone ladies freely engage in advanced prostitution (hook-ups) to compete and oppress others. 

The schools and institutions known to be an avenue for character modelling before are nothing to write about today. People only attend school for academic accomplishment, devoid of character. Stealing and misappropriating the public commonwealth by those occupying public offices, including politicians and civil servants, is now a culture.

Regrettably, the court system and the judiciary are now blemished with conspiracies and marred with corruption. The supposed last hope of the masses has become the fortress for the rich, where the highest bidder gets the desired judgment.

How did our esteem values and norms get substituted, and why is criminality on the rise despite our religion and high level of education? I believe it’s already too late to continue to point fingers at colonialism, globalisation, or westernisation as our problem currently. But the main issue is that our values and norms have been neglected. Hence this dilemma and nightmares befall us.

As a Yoruba aphorism says, “if you know not where you’re heading to, you should know where you are coming from” Revival of our culture; norms and values are pertinent now to arrest and stem this risen criminality in our society.

Iranloye Sofiu Taiye (Optimism Mirror) is reachable via iranloye100@gmail.com.