Muslims

By Mohammad Qaddam Sidq Isa (Daddy)

There is a general but simplistic assumption that electoral victory necessarily implies Allah’s endorsement of the winner and His disapproval of the loser. 

Politicians, potential beneficiaries of the electoral victory of politicians, and overzealous followers engage in supposedly wholehearted Addu’a for their and their benefactors’ electoral victory.

The practice of Addu’a for electoral victory has grown into a phenomenon and has indeed become an integral part of politicking in Nigeria. It has, in fact, turned into an industry of a sort where huge amounts of resources are invested in engaging amateur, part-time and professional Addu’a service-providing malamai who provide their services to the highest bidders or whom they expect higher gain from them of whatever kind.

Besides, with the growing phenomenon of holding the so-called special prayer sessions in public places for the success of one politician or another, the ‘political Addu’a industry’ has been growing further, attracting more investments from politicians. This is even though such so-called special prayer sessions bear the hallmarks of Bid’a.

On their part, winners in elections and their followers brag that their electoral victory necessarily implies Allah’s acceptance of their Addu’a hence His endorsement of them. They equally mock their opponents and attribute their loss to Allah’s disapproval of them. Whereas, in reality, nobody knows for sure whether or not a particular electoral victory implies Allah’s endorsement, or whether or not a particular loss implies His disapproval.

Because the fact that politicking under democracy is inherently characterized by gross dishonesty, hypocrisy, cunning, deceitfulness, bribery and other serious vices, which arguably all politicians perpetrate in their struggle to outmanoeuvre one another, makes the whole system too filthy for Allah to have anything to do with it, in the first place,  let alone endorse any politician against another.

The winner, therefore, only wins thanks to his ability to somehow outdo his opponents in that regard, and the losers only lose due to their failure to outplay the winner, while none enjoys Allah’s endorsement, for all are equally guilty of the same grave sins, regardless of the extents of their involvements, respectively. After all, they actually never take Addu’a seriously in the first place; they only feign commitment to it in the context of their manipulation of religion for political interests.

Electoral victory under democracy is just like winning in gambling, which obviously never implies Allah’s endorsement.

Though craving for power and the temptations of what comes with it are irresistibly tempting, they aren’t worth the price of politicking under democracy, with all that it entails, which those involved pay in the hereafter. 

Mohammed Qaddam wrote via mohammadsidq@gmail.com.

By Zailani Bappa

The satellite television, Arewa24, with headquarters in Kano, will continue to be a pain for northerners who cherish their heritage. It is a necessary evil and a bad influence on the teeming youth in a predominantly conservative society. But, it is established to achieve a purpose and do that efficiently and quickly.

I learned the medium was established by the US government through one of its established NGOs some nine years ago. Amidst the devastating experience of Boko Haram in this part of the country, several studies have indicated to the West that the passion for Islamic values in the North and the teeming followership of a springing set of radical Salafists in the region is the major cause of such developing activism….or should I say…terrorism.

Hence, the decision to spend the hard-earned tax-payers money of the American people to build an entertainment television station in the heart of conservative Kano (after rejecting Kaduna and Abuja as a base for the new medium). I am sure you know that when these guys give you a dime worth of something with the right hand, they are sure enough to take back something worth a dollar from you with the left hand.

So, the Arewa 24 came into light with a bang…..good hands employed mostly popular actors from the entertainment industry as pioneer staff, with good pay for them to work optimally and to stay, very enticing and entertaining programmes with fresh breath of air and of course, all programmes beamed to us with the best of technology one can find around here. Significantly, most programmes target women and the young.

Free of charge, we were entertained until the station became a menu that came to every table in the house. Then came the next stage of the plan (as I see it). It was sold out to a very rich and powerful Nigerian who has the capacity and the passion to run it according to both the quality of content and the pursuit of the target.

Gradually, the programmes started becoming more daring in their approach to change. There is mild and uncoordinated resistance here and there, but the medium has a strong advisory consultant. They evade or outrightly neutralise every challenge from angry quarters at times. And they will continue to do so.

I firmly believe that the Arewa 24 debut, acceptability, prowess, and popularity (often challenged with visionless resistance) are only the tip of the iceberg. This is an era of globalisation. It is a moving train we cannot stop. It will reach its destination, ultimately. Our resistance to it will continue to be a massage to its global ego.

So, for those who understand this phenomenon, just pray, stay calm and do your own thing according to your conscience. Teach your young ones to value your values the way you can, very hard and consistently; then, leave the rest to God. This fight is just too big for us……..for every one of us.

Zailani Bappa wrote from Bauchi State via zailanbappa@gmail.com.

By Abdurrahman Muhammad

A call has gone to the Kaduna State House of Assembly to investigate the Kaduna State Traffic Law Enforcement Authority (KASTLEA). The appeal came from an Islamic human rights organisation, the Muslim Rights Concern (MURIC). The group accused the leadership of KASTLEA of harassing Muslim female marshals who wear hijab and their male counterparts who have beards.

This was contained in a press statement circulated on Friday, November 17, 2023, by the Executive Director of MURIC, Professor Ishaq Akintola. He said:

“We have credible information that the leadership of the Kaduna State Traffic Law Enforcement Authority (KASTLEA) has recently been casting aspersion on the use of hijab by female marshals and the growth of beards by their male counterparts. 

“The current head of KASTLEA, Carla Abdulmalik, a Christian lady, uses almost every opportunity to directly or indirectly caution marshals against the use of hijab. She reportedly issued a directive for the shaving of beards by the male Marshals. According to her, having beards makes the job unprofessional and disgusting.

“MURIC resents the anti-Muslim antics of Carla. She must be called to order before she plunges Kaduna into a huge crisis whose consequences no one can predict.

“Carla is exhibiting a common trait of Muslim-haters. She is most indiscreetly imposing Christian culture on Muslim marshals and manifesting hatred for all forms of Islamic appearance.

“We therefore call on the honourable members of the Kaduna State House of Assembly to investigate these allegations and make recommendations to Governor Uba Sani. 

“Carla must be called to order. Kaduna is the last place where one would expect to find the persecution of Muslim workers or students. This is an anomaly that should not be allowed to rear its ugly head anywhere in Northern Nigeria. We call on Islamic scholars to speak up on this matter and to put pressure on politicians in Kaduna on the need to protect Muslim marshals in KASTLEA.

“The Constitution is clearly on the side of religious freedom. Section 38 (i) & (ii) of the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria provides ‘every person shall be entitled to freedom of thought, conscience and religion, including freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom (either alone or in community with others, and in public or in private) to manifest and propagate his religion or belief in worship, teaching, practice and observance’

“There have been no restrictions on religious freedom in KASTLEA since its establishment in 2014, and nothing in the 2017 act establishing the agency forbids hijab or beards. Muslim marshals in the agency have also never been intimidated by any of those who headed KASTLEA before Carla. Her persecution and stereotyping of Muslims under her must stop.”

By Muhammad Abdurrahman

An Islamic human rights organisation, the Muslim Rights Concern (MURIC), has warned those calling for the arrest of Dr Zakir Naik to mind their business. The organisation insists that the Islamic preacher is exercising his Allah-given fundamental human right of freedom of movement under international law. MURIC further warned that anybody found embarrassing to the Sultan’s guest would face the wrath of Nigerian Muslims. 

The warning was handed down on Sunday, 5th November 2023, by the Executive Director of MURIC, Professor Ishaq Akintola. 

The full statement reads:

“A campaign of calumny and religious hatred has been unleashed on an international Islamic figure, Dr Zakir Naik, who is currently in Nigeria. Dr Zakir Naik is in the country on the invitation of the Sultan of Sokoto and President General of the Nigerian Supreme Council for Islamic Affairs (NSCIA), Alhaji Muhammad Sa’ad Abubakar.

“The campaign is being sponsored by Christians who are jittery. They are aware of the visitor’s oratory, intellectual prowess and amazing ability to convince his audience with indubitable facts. We remind these overzealous interlopers that Dr Zakir Naik is exercising his Allah-given fundamental human right of freedom of movement. 

“Article 13 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights of the United Nations guarantees the right to freedom of movement around the globe without interference. It says, ‘Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each state. Everyone has the right to leave any country, including his own, and to return to his country.

“Those behind this shameful exercise are meddlesome interlopers and Muslim haters disguising themselves as public commentators. They are motivated by hate, ignorance and gymnastic religiosity. 

“For the avoidance of doubt, we warn that anybody found embarrassing an official guest of His Eminence the Sultan and head of more than 150 million Nigerian Muslims will face the wrath of Muslims in this country.

“Why are our Christian neighbours so intolerant? How many times have Muslims raised objections when Christians invite foreign preachers? Several Christian preachers have toured this country without any Muslim protesting. 

“We recall the way Louis Farrakhan, the black American Muslim leader, was disallowed from giving a lecture in Nigeria in 1986. That ugly and disgraceful incident was engineered by the same set of people. It must not happen again.

“To those who are pursuing this ignoble goal, we say, ‘Take notice that Dr Zakir Naik is not Louis Farrakhan and Nigeria of 1986 is different from Nigeria in 2023. Nigerian Muslims of today, under a dynamic and visionary leadership, can give measure for measure.’ 

“The whole world knows the Indian government for what it is when it comes to religious tolerance. The crimes of the Indian state against its Muslim population of 204 million Muslims are legendary. Muslim haters in Nigeria should allow the Indian government to convince Interpol to do its dirty work for it. 

“India has failed to involve Interpol because its allegations against Dr Zakir Naik are religiously motivated. How did the Islamic scholar travel across several countries without Interpol arresting him if, indeed, he is a wanted person? Let the Indian government convince Interpol first.

“As far as we are concerned, Dr Zakir Naik has not broken any known law of Nigeria. He is, therefore, innocent and free to move around and deliver lectures. We remind the law enforcement agencies of their duty to ensure the safety and security of this Islamic scholar. Nothing must happen to him. It is needless to assert that any guest of the Sultan is a guest of all Nigerian Muslims.”

#LeaveDrZaikNaikAlone

By Usama Abdullahi 

The Hisbah corps members have come under criticism for their recent activities, which include raiding or disrupting a hotel or social gatherings where immoral actions are being condoned. I’m surprised about its criticism. Just like any other institution or agency, Hisbah has its flaws. But to write it off merely because of what it’s doing lately isn’t morally right. 

I wanted to stay clear of this issue. Still, I felt the need to chip in after listening to a minute-long interview the Commander-General Kano Hisbah, Sheikh Aminu Daurawa, granted to BBC Hausa regarding the backlash that greets their actions. In that interview, the Sheikh logically stated why they raided such “illegal” gatherings. 

Through his revelations, I realised that they don’t just raid a hotel or any social gathering for their selfish concerns, but they first receive calls for an investigation. You see, Hisbah doesn’t carry out things as badly as some people would have us believe. They simply do the bidding of their people. The calls are often made by the people living near the places where such social vices occur. 

Once they suspect something unusual in the said places, they do not fail to raise the alarm by calling Hisbah to carry out some investigations. And when the Hisbah Corps arrive at the scene of the “crime”, they don’t harass the suspects. Nor do they raid the entire place as they so wish. However, they go straight to the hotelier or owner of the place and inform them of their plan.

When they have the offenders in their custody, they usually preach to them and caution them against the consequences of their actions. But if they encounter serial miscreants, they take them to the court of law. So, if I may ask, what’s wrong with that? This is right on all fronts- both religiously and morally because they mainly target brothels where sex trafficking takes place. 

Those arrested during their first raid were those from different states or countries. This tells you that the situation is far beyond what you hear. However, Hisbah, as a morality police, is doing what most security personnel fail to do. It’s simply doing the job of a police officer and that of parents.

Only when we look past our sentiments can we acknowledge the benefits of what Hisbah is bringing to society. No matter how you twist, you cannot deny that Hisbah has achieved what the police force hasn’t for years. If you argue that Hisbah is trampling on the rights of their victims, then I’ll put this question to you: how many rules have the so-called victims broken so far? I understand that two wrongs don’t make a right, but there’s no way a law can work without having the law-breakers face their full wrath. 

Usama Abdullahi Writes from Abuja and can be reached at usamagayyi@gmail.com.

By Abdurrazak Muktar Makarfi

In the depths of the night, when most of the world sleeps, there are those who choose to rise. They are the ones who understand the value of Qiyamul Lail, the act of waking up to pray during the night. This predawn vigil is not just a spiritual obligation for Muslims but also a powerful manifestation of one’s deepest desires and intentions.

Qiyamul Lail is an act of devotion and a reflection of one’s commitment to one’s faith. It is a time when the world is still, and the heart is most receptive to spiritual connection. The act of willingly sacrificing sleep to stand in prayer is a testament to the strength of one’s faith and the sincerity of one’s desires.

Desire, in its purest form, is the driving force behind our actions and aspirations. It is what motivates us to work hard, to overcome obstacles, and to strive for better lives. But how can we measure the depth of our desires? Qiyamul Lail offers a unique litmus test.

If you find yourself desperately wanting something in life, be it success, happiness, or peace, and yet you are not waking up for Qiyamul Lail, then you may need to question the authenticity of your desires. True desire demands sacrifice. It requires us to prioritise what matters most to us. When we value something deeply, we are willing to make sacrifices to attain it.

Waking up for Qiyamul Lail is not just about fulfilling a religious duty; it’s about demonstrating the intensity of your yearning. It’s a declaration that your connection with the Divine is so profound that you are willing to forgo sleep, one of the most basic human needs, to nurture that connection.

Moreover, Qiyamul Lail is a time for reflection, self-examination, and supplication. It is a chance to pour your heart out to the Creator to seek guidance, forgiveness, and blessings. It is a moment when you can lay your deepest desires and concerns before the Almighty with a heart filled with humility and hope.

In the stillness of the night, when the world is hushed in slumber, you have the opportunity to reflect on your aspirations and the path you are on. If your desires are sincere, if you truly long for your goals to be realised, then Qiyamul Lail is your arena to prove it. It’s a chance to show that your ambitions are not mere words but a profound yearning that drives you to action.

So, let the night prayer be a reminder—a reminder to measure your desires against your actions. If you’re desperately wanting something and you’re not waking up for Qiyamul Lail, then you don’t want it enough. But if you’re willing to rise from your slumber, stand in devotion, and whisper your desires to the heavens, then your desires are genuine, and you’re on the right path to fulfilling them.

By Abdurrahman Muhammad

The Ansarudeen Society of Nigeria began its three-month-long centenary programme on Friday, 20^th October, 2023. Meanwhile, an Islamic human rights organisation, the Muslim Rights Concern (MURIC), has sent a message of solidarity to the society. MURIC described the Ansarudeen as the leading Islamic organisation in Nigeria in the area of education.

MURIC’s solidarity message was contained in a statement given to newsmen on Monday, 23^rd October 2023, by the Executive Director of the organisation, Professor Ishaq Akintola.

The statement reads:

“A foremost Islamic organisation, the Ansar-ud-Deen Society of Nigeria (AUD), began its three-month-long centenary programme on Friday, 20^th October, 2023.  The celebrations will come to an end in December 2023.

“MURIC expresses its unflinching solidarity with the AUD on this momentous occasion. We felicitate with the National President of this great organisation, Alhaji Aare Dr. Abdul Rafiu Ademola Sanni whose visionary guidance and exemplary leadership have propelled AUD to greater heights.

“AUD is a golden lamp that has illuminated all that is around it. Millions of Nigerians have benefitted from its programmes, particularly education. AUD primary and secondary schools are spread throughout the nooks and crannies of Nigeria, while the organisation has capped its educational edifice with colleges and a tertiary institution, Summit University, Offa, Kwara State. This is apart from its empowerment programmes for women and youths.

“We extend our acknowledgement to the spiritual leader of the AUD, Shaykh Abdul Rahman Ahmad. As the Chief Missioner of the society, Shaykh Abdul Rahman Ahmad has been a good ambassador.

“MURIC appeals to the federal and state Governments in the country as well as Muslim philanthropists to vigorously fund projects of the AUD. We charge the organization to remain focused and to pay greater attention to its youth wing in order to preserve its enduring culture of spiritual and social growth.”

By Professor Abdussamad Umar Jibia

In 1992, about 20 years after Nigeria severed ties with Israel, General Ibrahim Babangida’s administration restored diplomatic relations with the Jewish occupier state. This followed incessant calls for doing so by Nigerian Christians. 

Islamic scholars berated the Christian clerics who called for restoring ties with Israel for their blatant ignorance of the Jewish state and what it stood for. Contrary to what is believed by the Nigerian Christian clergy, Israel is not a Christian state, and Jews do not believe in Jesus Christ either as a Messiah like the Christians believe or even as a Messenger of God like I, a Muslim, believe. As far as the Jew is concerned, Jesus is an illegitimate child of Mary who is a product of fornication committed by his mother.

And what is special about Israel? Unlike Ghanaian, Nigerian, Pakistani and other nationals who feel at home whenever they are in their countries, the Israeli carries the guilt and discomfort of an occupier even while “at home” in the land now called Israel. Many countries do not recognise the existence of Israel as a state. 

What followed Babangida’s diplomatic decision is a shame. A Christian Pilgrims Commission at the centre and a Christian Pilgrims Board in each state. That’s not all. While my own grandfather travelled to Saudi Arabia to perform the hajj on foot without any Government facilitation, and I saved my own money to go on hajj by air because we believe in hajj as part of our religion, an average Nigerian Christian is waiting for Government to pay for him to visit Israel to do what they call a “religious” duty. The journey, year in and year out, by Nigerian Christians to visit Israel for ‘pilgrimage’ has thus been a huge burden on the Nigerian Government. I believe there should be an act of the National Assembly to criminalise the sponsorship of pilgrims by Governments at all levels to whichever holy land the former want to go for their worship. 

The latest struggle by Hamas to free Palestine from Zionist occupation is now in its second week. Governments and individuals worldwide have been voicing their opinions, with many taking sides and others calling for cessation of hostilities. One would commend the Christians Association of Nigeria (CAN) for being cautious this time. The Nigerian Christians’ umbrella body spoke against bloodletting and preached the sanctity of human life. I am personally impressed. The leadership of CAN under Daniel Okoh should go a step further to end hostilities against non-Christians in Christian-majority communities of the North. This would contribute towards the desired peace and development that has eluded Nigerians.

If CAN exercised caution under Most Rev. Daniel Okoh, the same cannot be said about the overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), Pastor Enoch Adeboye. When I saw him calling Jews his “brethren”, I wondered whether I would laugh or cry. No matter how one tries to give Pastor Adebayo the benefit of the doubt for being a Nigerian respected by many, one will have to admit that the Pastor has, in this case, behaved like one of those roadside church-goers who have not been to school. Otherwise, how on earth would a Christian refer to Israeli criminals as his brethren and even ask thousands of unsuspecting RCCG members to pray for them?

Perhaps Pastor Adebayo is unaware of the Jewish state’s atrocities against innocent Palestinian Christians. Only recently, the head of the Roman Catholic Church in Jerusalem, Pierbattsta Pizzaballa, was reportedly complaining of increasing attacks by Jewish extremists “emboldened by [the] Israeli Government”. 

The attacks on the Christian community in Israel, whose record is handy for anyone looking for it, include attacks on Christian sites, which people like Adeboye say they go to Israel to visit and Christian worshippers whom the attackers refer to as idol worshippers who should be, “killed according to Torah”.

According to a recent NBC News report about Jerusalem, “Churches have been graffitied and clergy who live and work here report being frequently spit on, harassed and even physically attacked by extremist Jews”. The report concluded that “Christian leaders say most incidents are never thoroughly investigated,” confirming that it has the backing of the Zionist state.

Hear Pastor Adeboye, “It is my prayer for all our brethren in Israel that the Almighty will grant you absolute peace from now on in Jesus’s name”. Haba Pastor! What does Jesus have to do with Zionists? And what do Zionists have to do with Jesus? The only non-Christian group who accepts Jesus, the son of Mary and believes in the virgin birth, are Muslims. 

And he said, “The almighty God, the only one of Israel…”. My dear pastor, which God are you referring to here? Is it Jesus Christ whom they refer to as an idol or the only God who created Jesus without a father, just like he created Adam without two parents?

Adebayo and other African Christians should get their priorities right. Palestinian Christians have done so long ago. They have always identified with Palestinian Muslims in their struggle for freedom. 

Professor Abdussamad Umar Jibia wrote from Kano via aujibia@gmail.com.

By Ismail Obansa Nimah

Moments before the deadly Israeli strike on the Al Ahli Baptist Christian National Hospital, an official Israeli government page posted the following on X (formerly Twitter):  “Due to the lack of medical equipment and the lack of medical staff, it was decided to bomb the Baptist hospital in Gaza and give them euthanasia death”.  

The attack is the worst to hit a hospital since World War II. It has so far killed more than 500 people, with many still under the rubble. The tweet has been deleted, and as usual, Israeli and mainstream Western media have begun damage control to embellish the ignominy with half-truths and outright falsehood.

There is no sitting on the fence in this conflict. You are either here or there. You either stand for the Palestinians against the monstrous apartheid regime of Israel, or you are with the Israelis, of whom a significant majority, save just a few, are so inhumane.

And when I say Palestinians or Israeli, it does not just equate pitting Muslims against Jews. If you must know, Bethlehem, the birthplace of Jesus himself, is amongst Palestine’s illegally occupied and besieged regions and has been under constant attack and bombardment by Israel for the past seven decades.

I hope our Christian counterparts also realise that cheering Israel on and being sympathetic to their cause on whatever basis or allusion, scriptural or not,  erodes the very humanity in us and is tantamount to aiding the systematic tyranny and barbarism that entity represents – the same barbarism we all spoke against and condemned when it occurred in South Africa.  We are all targets. This is a war on our collective humanity. Upon deeper reflection, we will find examples of similar demagoguery against Jesus and his Mother, Mary, in the scripture.

Ask yourself, is it not insane and malevolent to think that the Just and Merciful Creator will choose a group of people as his beloved or ‘chosen’ and help them commit atrocities of this scale to fulfil some prophecy?

We, Muslims, are not your enemy. We are not what the propagandists of the West and Israel propagate. We have an entire chapter in the Qur’an named after Mary in deference to her honour. We have numerous verses exalting her status in the sight of God, away from what the Jews still assert. No Muslim is a Muslim until he/she loves, respects and honours Jesus Christ as one of the mightiest messengers of God. We do not call his name, except we add “peace be upon him” to it. We make no distinction between him and other great messengers of God. Yet you somehow think we are your enemy? And help the Jews who curse Mary and Jesus further their evil plot, particularly against us?

For more than One thousand years, the Muslims ruled Palestine, with Jerusalem as its capital. During these years,  Muslims, Jews and Christians coexisted together in goodness, peace, justice and prosperity. Every Muslim was obligated to respect and ensure the human rights of those living under the Islamic Caliphate, no matter who they were and what they worshipped. It was and still is a huge sin and a punishable offence for any Muslim to trespass on the rights of a non-Muslim living under the protection of a Muslim government. No non-Muslim blood was allowed to be illegally spilt without justice. No one was made to unduly suffer on account of being different in any regard.

And even when the European Christian crusaders sacked Jerusalem and massacred hundreds of thousands of its inhabitants in the 11th century, the  Muslims under Salahudeen Al-Ayub did not spill a single innocent blood when they took the city back from the crusader occupation some 88 years later. Not even the blood of many cruel crusaders who had massacred Muslims in their thousands.

It may be that history is repeating itself all over again. But I am sure Palestine will again survive this cruel attempt at extermination and targeted ethnic cleansing. And I know that it will be soon, very soon. Until then, hang in there, brethren, for the help of our Creator is near.

I hope this opens your eyes and we all see more clearly away from sentiments and propaganda.

Ismail Obansa Nimah wrote via nimah013@gmail.com.

By Aisha M Auyo

Rider: “In the intricate tapestry of marriage, love is but one thread”.

Marriage is not just the union of people who are genuinely in love with each other. It requires a whole lot of other factors to keep it going. I can confidently tell you a marriage can exist without love if the other factors exist. Our grandparents and generations before them have done it, and the divorce rate was very low compared with ours. Their marital relationship is stronger than ours, which capitalises on love.

Theirs is a relationship built on patience, understanding, selflessness, respect, belief in qadr, devotion, and peace. Not on lust. Not on love. Not on desire. Not on physical look. Not on avarice. It is almost the total opposite of marriage nowadays.

A strong marriage is determined by the sacrifices and struggles a husband and wife go through and their ability to stay strong and be patient with each other. There is no marriage without problems, issues, or tests. Even in the noble house of our Rasool, SAW, they had issues. From small ones that involve petty actions fuelled by jealousy within the wives to bigger problems that involve an accusation of adultery levied against Aisha, RA, also known as the “event of Ifk“, which can be traced to Surah An-Nur.

Couples should try not to give up when undergoing tests, DIVINE TESTS such as poverty, infertility, illness, polygamy, etc. Please understand that I am not saying we should condone HUMAN MADE CHALLENGES such as bad character, SERIAL infidelity (there may be exceptional cases of being victims or moments of weakness which should not be more than once), abuse of any kind, (mental, verbal, physical, or emotional), etc. We should be able to explore the fine line between Allah’s tests and man-made issues.

Allah says in the Qur’an, “We will test you with something of fear, and hunger and loss of wealth, and souls and vegetation. And give glad tidings to those who have patience. Those who, if in any difficulty or trial, or tribulation occurs to them or happens to them, they say: ‘Verily we are from Allah and to Allah we return.’ They are those who will receive prayers from their Lord and Mercy, and it is those who are guided.” Al baqarah.

The missed nuances in Northern Nigerian marriage customs, emphasising materialism over the essential attributes of lasting matrimony, have contributed immensely to the high divorce rate in our community. Parents neglect the core aspects of marriage and pay more attention to the superficial and materialistic aspects. Instead of counselling their kids on how to live with each other, the groom side will be busy making plans on ‘Kayan life‘ and ‘gida na gani na fada’. The bride side will be busy buying expensive furniture and ‘gara’, ‘kada a raina mu‘. The couples will be busy organising ‘Instagrammable’ wedding events that will trend for a week.

At least, the bride’s family does not joke with kayan mata and little Nasiha on ‘Yi, nayi, bari na bari’, ‘A yi haquri’. But on the groom’s side, no one says anything to him regarding how to live his life with the bride.

Then, after all the events, reality sets in. Expectations not met. The pretence energy is exhausted. Before you know it, ‘hide my ID’, parents’ intervention and divorce will happen. In less than five years, the marriage will be dissolved, with two or three innocent kids involved.

Many people would look at the marriages and successes of others and wish they were them, not knowing how much they struggled to get there or the sacrifices they made to succeed in their marriages.

In sum, I have delved into the enduring factors that fortify matrimonial bonds beyond love, drawing wisdom from the timeless legacy of our forebears. The essence of patience, understanding, selflessness, respect, belief in destiny, devotion, and peace is the age-old recipe for marital success. How strong unions are forged through trials and sacrifices. I hope this will guide parents and couples in nurturing resilient marriages by shedding light on the struggles behind seemingly idyllic unions.

May Allah make it easy for all those going through hardships in their marriages and protect us from such calamities, amin.

Always remember that, with divine guidance and patience, weathering marital storms can lead to stronger, more enduring love.

Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A wife, a mother, a homemaker, caterer, parenting, and relationship coach. She can be reached via aishamuauyo@live.co.uk.