Lifestyle

By Aisha Musa Auyo

Allah created marriage for lifelong pleasure and happiness. Therefore, beyond any other human relationship, marriage has the potential to make us happier. But there is a price to this happiness, which is CHARACTER. 

Marriage tests our character in every way. It tests our patience, work ethic, willingness to forgive, sensitivity to others, tolerance for those different from us, cooperation ability, endurance, and humility. Marriage is simply the biggest character test in life.

These tests integrate into our demeanour and give us a certain level of understanding, patience and maturity, and willingness to forgive. Moreover, it opens our eyes to the reality of life that unconditional love is exclusively for parents and children.

One needs to work more on his character, temperament, and personality to be able to live peacefully with others. Emotional intelligence plays a greater role in the relationship than anything else.

For most new couples, marriage was like a trip to the proverbial woodshed for the first several years. They were selfish, insensitive, angry and chauvinistic. After the first few years, many spouses were convinced that they had made a mistake in marrying their mate and that they were the cause of their misery.

But after lots of patience and endurance, when they look back at those times, they will realise that all the negatives that happened are crucial in forming their character. Many couples admit that they almost didn’t make it. They almost give up, but such circumstances forced them to decide to change and become more like Allah wants them to be… (patient, prayerful, selfless, understanding, and forgiving).

As a partner, know that your marriage will take a significant step forward every time you make a positive character change. Your spouse also will make positive character choices that will benefit your relationship, and you will have a great marriage, inshaAllah. It won’t be perfect, but you will be happier, contented, and at peace than ever before and will be glad to be committed to the lifelong journey.

Know that before marriage makes you happy, it will make you grow.

Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A mother of three, Aisha is a homemaker, caterer and parenting/relationship coach.

By Uzair Adam Imam

The Centre for Information Technology and Development (CITAD) has trained 18 covid-19 vaccine champions on identifying, tracking and countering Covid-19 related fake news on social media platforms.

The program tittled “Public Education on COVID-19 Vaccine Project” was aimed at sensitizing the public on the importance of covid19 vaccine and the need to take it with a view to promoting uptake of the vaccine.

Supported by MacArthur Foundation, the centre is reportedly working with 18 partner organizations and social influencers to enlighten the public about the vaccine through various activities and programmes.

However, COVID-19 is a communicable respiratory disease that terrorises the entire wold, leading to the death of number of people and set the nationwide economic back.

The details on the event was in a statement signed Saturday, May 28, 2022, by the coordinator of the campaign, Mal. Hamza Ibrahim.

The statement reads in part: “CITAD received 93 applications from young people who want to be champions and 18 of them were selected from six northern states – Kano, Kaduna, Bauchi, Borno, Plateau and Kogi State and trained for two days.”

“After their training they embarked on daily campaigns on the vaccine on social media. They submit reports of their campaigns at the end of every month and the reports are shared with panel of judges who review and assess and subsequently select the best three.”

“So, there is competition among the vaccine champions every month and the best three winners are selected and rewarded with gifts. This month, Hadiza Aliyu from Kano emerged in the 1st position and got Hisense refrigerator. Ashafa Abdulkadir from Kaduna and Hauwa Shettima from Bauchi State were the 2nd and 3rd position. They received plasma television and mini laptop.”

It is not known whether there will be another new competition for Covid-19 vaccine champions after this campaign has ended.

By Fatihu Ibrahim

Going through my newsfeed,  I came across a letter dated the 7th of May 2021. Onukwubiri Ifeanyi Kingsley allegedly renounced his position as the first son in the family, because (as he said in the letter) the position increased his problems, increased his liability, and was a thorn in his flesh. 

I wonder if he graciously relinquishes his position out of fear of responsibilities. If this is the case, he is wrong to flee from his duties. This life is nothing but a set of examinations, tribulations and challenges, running from the one you may likely encounter superior challenges along your way. So the best solution is to face your challenges and try your best to conquer them.

Historically, in a patriarchal society like ours, the firstborn child’s role has been socially significant, particularly for a firstborn son. As a result, there are sets of expected do’s and don’ts in the lives of firstborns.

As the firstborns, our parents expect us to be 101% good. We have to set the example for other siblings; we have to be brilliant, extra careful, perfect, intelligent, great administrators, toppers in any exam, good athletes and the list goes on. The level of expectation on us is very high, and the burden on our shoulders is quite heavy.

Being the eldest son was never our choice nor our intention, but nature has its way of imposing things on us, and here we are as the firstborns, a position we will hold for our entire life. 

Moreover, our darling parents never see us the same as our fellow siblings but rather as alpha children moulded into hardworking gentlemen responsible for steering various homes’ wheels. This blend of expectation and motives sometimes stressed us, resulting in anxiety, which overclouded our verdicts. We fall prey to superfluous fear of the future, which affects our existence, dwindling our efforts in conquering dilemmas.

My advice to all the firstborns is never to see this position as a burden but rather as a blessing. Do your very best in all facets of life, and always look to the Mighty Lord for guidance. If by any chance you feel like losing hope, remember the Quran 26:62 “إنَّ مَعِیَ رَبِّی سَیَھدِ ینِ” “Indeed my Lord is with me, and He is going to guide me”. So when the lord is in control, we have to trust Him and play our part by doing our very best. 

To all the firstborns, hold your head high up. You have been endowed with qualities such as strength, struggle and some considered leadership characteristics.

May God bless our hustle, amin. God bless Nigeria, amin.

Fatihu Ibrahim sent this article via fisabbankudi123@gmail.com.

By Aisha Musa Auyo

When I was in primary school, my grandmother visited us, and she was mesmerized by our nature-friendly environment. She said we were wasting resources by not utilizing the space with livestock. So she suggested animal rearing, that she would send a sheep first, and if all goes well, that sheep will give birth to many others, and in a few years, we will have a flock. She kept her words and sent a pregnant sheep. It was assigned to me since I’m the eldest.

The Fulani in me took over, and the bonding was natural for my sheep and me. I fed her morning and night. I brought her out and tied it with a rope in the afternoon for grazing. I then returned her to the barn in the evening. On a fateful Friday afternoon, I brought her out and tied her to a guava tree in our compound so that it would graze as usual.

I can’t recall what happened, but she cleverly freed herself. (That euphoria when a captive gains independence ). She walked, played, jumped and danced! Then, when she became aware of her absolute freedom, she began to run, somewhere far away from our house, and I followed her. The race continued, but I managed to hold the rope.

My sister went in to let my parents know of the happening. I was still holding the rope, but I fell while that ‘wicked’ sheep was still running. I was somersaulting and screaming but still managed to see my parents laughing like crazy outside. My world was spinning, and I had bruises all over my face.

Finally, when I couldn’t bear it anymore, I let go of the rope, thus the sheep, and as I managed to open my eyes, my parents were at the spot to pick me up, but still laughing at my stupidity. ‘Yar fari’ (first daughter), they all chorused! Firstborns are believed to be idiots!

They calmed me down, soothed my wounds and finally, they said, “This could be avoided. You should have simply let go of the rope and the sheep. She will come back”.

This is a life lesson I learned the hard way. I’m glad it happened in my early days of life, as within two days, the wounds healed, and all the bruises disappeared in a week. All thanks to the fruits and medication that I’ve been taking. But from that day, I learned to let go of anything I perceive as a threat to my life or my happiness with immediate effect.

My instincts always alert me of immediate danger, and I respond unhesitatingly. Sometimes even too early that people around me think I do not give people or situations the benefit of the doubt or that I make early conclusions. Still, better early than late. Letting go comes easy because I’ve learned before that holding on to what doesn’t want to stay leads to bruises, wounds and pain.

The recent trends in domestic abuse have made me think, how can we reduce this menace in the upcoming generations? How can we raise mentally sound and selfless generations that will not abuse and tolerate abuse? What are we doing in our power to sensitize our wards of this growing menace?

People, especially women, tend to hold on to their mental and physical abusers be they friends, husbands, relatives, house helps or any other person. They endure all kinds of pain and suffering while trying to hold on to what they think is theirs until they are finally bruised, injured, suicidal, or killed. That’s when they let go. No, this has to stop!

I’m not in the position to punish abusers, but the little I can do now is to enlighten you, the reader, to learn to let go of that which harms you or threaten your happiness and or well-being. Learn to follow your instincts, they are there for a reason, and most often than not, they don’t fail us.

May Allah protect us from abusers, amin. May we never abuse anything under our care, amin. May Allah give us the strength to leave that which will harm us. May we never get attached to what isn’t ours, amin. May the love and respect we give be appreciated and reciprocated, amin. May we see the light even in darkness, amin.

Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A mother of three, Home Maker, caterer, parenting and relationship coach. She can be reached via aishamuauyo@gmail.com.

By Abdullahi Yusuf (Abdool)

The viral tape of Chrisland School, Lagos, has become a trending topic lately due to its indecency and the nature of the people involved (i.e. children).

But before we conclude on whether the act involved rape or not, let’s look at the bigger picture, which is questioning the moral upbringing of the kids involved, who are obviously at the initial stage of puberty (below 13 years of age). We can all believe that it is too early for them to have such a bad experience at this young age. But who is to be blamed for this?

The 21st century has come along with many technological advancements. Some of these are of optimal benefit to humanity but detrimental to morality in some aspects. Contemporarily, one can access information and things we merely hear about in the olden days.

Internet is one of the goodies of this century. It enables its users to access what happens around the world quickly. Internet helps one learn a lot of things and get exposed to global opportunities with ease, while on the contrary, it holds a lot of negativities, especially for our younger ones.

We can’t dodge away from the reality of the moment, but we can put a lot of effort into making sure the negativities of the moment do not corrupt our progeny or us.

Parental negligence is the major contributing factor to the immorality we are experiencing. Parents nowadays show an unreasonable love to their children, which haunts them when they can no longer protect themselves or the children. This love gradually exposes the evil in the children due to a lack of due diligence in discharging parental responsibilities by the parent.

In the olden days, a total stranger could discipline a child for misbehaviour, and the child’s parent would appreciate the stranger for helping them do the right thing. But unfortunately, in the present time, a neighbour cannot punish a child for any misdemeanour because doing that could instigate the wrath of the child’s parent, and they would fight back as if punishing their child is a felony.

I could remember a scenario I read about on Twitter not long ago. A lady who visited her aunt narrated the story. She was necessitated to make a call and realised that her phone was out of credit which compelled her to borrow the phone of her aunt’s son, who was about 14 years of age, to make the urgent call. When using the phone, a video suddenly came in through WhatsApp, and she became curious to see what had just come in. She was shocked when she saw a nude sent to the boy by a young lady who happened to be his classmate. So she went through his chat with the same young lady to ascertain the fact. What she saw was devastating. She realised that the boy had been in a sexual relationship with that girl for a very long time.

In the above scenario, the parents are unaware of what’s going on with their child. He has been destroying his life without their knowledge due to their negligence. Their contribution to his misbehaviour is massive as they provided him with a phone and never cared to monitor what he was doing with it.

Typical African parents find it disgusting to give sexual orientation to their children. They think doing it is immoral, while not doing it causes more harm than good to our contemporary society.

Sex education to children is not about telling them about sexual intercourse; it’s about orienting children about their sexuality, sexual abuse, and what they should know about the sensitive parts of their body and acts they should consider as molestation. It is also about gender stereotypes and limitations concerning their morphology and physiology.

In conclusion, being a parent means being a protector, a teacher, a guide and a counsellor to the child. As a parent, don’t ever become reluctant to discharge your sole responsibility. Whenever you fail as a parent means unlocking an element of distress to society, which will strain you before diffusing to the larger community.

Abdullahi Yusuf (Abdool) studies at the Department of Human Kinetics and Health Education, Bayero University, Kano. He wrote from Kaduna State via abdoolphd@gmail.com.

By Abdullahi Abdullateef

The Regional Director of the World Health Organisation, Africa, Dr. Matshidiso Moeti, called for an integrated response in a bid to end the spread of Coronavirus and other vaccine preventable diseases including polio and measles.

Dr. Moeti disclosed this at a press briefing held on Thursday, April 28,2022. She said: “The rise in outbreaks of other vaccine preventable diseases is a warning sign. As Africa works hard to defeat COVID-19, we must not forget other health threats diseases.”

Noting that vaccines are at the heart of a successful public health response and as countries restore services, routine immunisation must be at the core of revived and resilient health system.

Furthermore, she commended Nigerian government’s efforts with its recent integrated approach doubling routine immunisation and COVID-19 vaccination for mothers and their babies . The approach offered simultaneous vaccination of mother which otherwise known as whole family approach giving access to mother to get vaccinated for COVID-19 and other disease like polio, measles as well as getting the routine immunization for their children.

Adding that mass vaccination campaigns boosted COVID-19 uptake between January and April the percentage of Africans fully vaccinated against Coronavirus rose to 17.1% from 11.1%.

According to reports, the Africa Continent continued to witness a surge in outbreaks of vaccine preventable diseases over the past years . Almost 17500 cases of measles were recorded in the Africa region between January and March 2022 representing a 400% in 2021. Twenty African countries reported measles outbreaks in the first quarter of this year, eight more than that in the first three months of 2021.

Speaking at the press conference, Dr. Benido Impowa stressed that routine immunisation had been a long practice in many African countries but stuck with the impact of COVID-19.

He maintained that WHO is working with African countries devise smart approaches so as to scale up both COVID-19 vaccination and ensure restoring and expansion of routine immunisation services.

By Uzair Adam Imam 

Kano State has recorded more than 2.8 million hospital visits due to the menace of malaria in 2021, the Commissioner for Health, Aminu Tsanyawa, said.

Tsanyawa spoke yesterday at a press briefing to commemorate 2022 World Malaria Day.

This, according to Tsanyawa, made the disease the single most common reason for about 60 per cent of outpatient visitations and consultations in Kano state. 

However, Tsanyawa recalled that the Kano state government, in collaboration with its partners, did its best to mitigate the menace.

He said, “between July and October 202, the state government, in collaboration with its partners, administered more than 13,110,365 doses of malaria prevention drugs (sulfadoxine-pyrimethamine and Amodiaquine SP+AQ) with a view to preventing malaria and deaths in children under the age of five.”

Furthermore, Tsanyawa sounded a clarion call on residents to avail their children aged 3-59 months for the forthcoming 4-day cycles of mass distribution of malaria prevention drugs. 

By Ja’afar Ja’afar

As your little one starts to explore the world of solid foods, he will learn to differentiate the tastes of different food items. This is where the struggle of a parent begins. Despite being a picky eater, making sure your child gets all the required nutrients can be frustrating. At times this frustration makes parents go overboard, and they pressurise their children to eat. Even though done with good intentions, force-feeding is never a good idea when it comes to the developing years of your child.

What is force-feeding?

Force-feeding is basically forcing your child to finish the whole served food against their will. When happy mealtimes turn into a war between parents and children with a plate full of healthy foods in between, parents generally end up using force-feeding as the ultimate strike. Even though it seems harmless, it never leads to a “win-win” situation and can do more harm than good to your child.

Instead of force-feeding your child to eat a particular food, try to prepare different variants of dishes, including that food along with the food groups your child enjoys eating.

How do parents force-feed?

Here are a few common ways parents tend to force-feed their children –

• Deciding on your own what, when and how much your child should eat.
• Nagging, scolding or threatening your child to finish his plate.
• Bribing or blackmailing your child into finishing his food and rewarding him later.
• Punishing your children if they don’t eat.
• Comparing your child with siblings or other children to make them feel shame or competitiveness.
• Literally forcing food into your child’s mouth and making him swallow.
• Ignoring his pleas to eat less and using fear to force him to eat.

Force-feeding seems to get the work done for the time being and may give you the “mission accomplished” feeling too. However, it actually can have harmful effects on your child. Let’s discuss seven negative effects of force-feeding that are usually seen among children:

1. Destruction of your child’s natural appetite

The natural desire to eat is known as one’s appetite. During mealtime, constant nagging and force-feeding will make your child lose interest in food and disrupt your child’s natural appetite. Forcing your child too much may lead to him puking out everything and hating even the idea of eating.

2. Strong aversion towards food

Studies have shown that force-fed kids often end up developing a strong aversion toward food. The negativity associated with food makes them traumatised and nauseous. This aversion sticks around even when they grow up as these foods continue to subconsciously remind them of the panic and bad memories of childhood.

3. Stressful meal-times

It is in human nature to avoid anything that causes stress or discomfort. The only way a child will accept something is if they enjoy it while doing it. Forcefully feeding your child healthy foods on his plate can leave him with a stressful and unpleasant experience. Hence instinctively, he will only learn to hate mealtimes and continue to struggle with food.

4. Inclination towards sugary or junk foods

Force-fed children often learn to develop unhealthy food habits. This happens because a force-fed child never learns when to stop eating as they get accustomed to overeating during those force-feeding sessions. Also, due to their hatred towards healthy foods, they get attracted more to sugary or junk foods.

5. Lose control over their eating habits

As parents, your ultimate focus should be on making your child less dependent on you and learning to do everything themselves. But, the more you take control and force-feed your child, the less control he will have over his own eating habits. This will hamper his life and food habits even as he grows up.

6. Development of eating disorders

Since force-fed children never learn how much food their bodies require, they tend to overeat or undereat even when they grow up. This loss of control over eating habits can lead to serious eating disorders such as obesity, anorexia, bulimia, etc.

7. Disrupted eating pattern

Every human body has a different food capacity and metabolism rate. The amount you decide to give your child may be much more than his capacity to digest. If you force-feed him to finish the entire serving even after he tells you that he is full, you are feeding him an excess amount. He will need more time to digest that portion, so he won’t be hungry when you serve his next meal. As the cycle continues, your child’s natural digestive pattern will end up getting disrupted.

Ja’afar Ja’afar sent this article via mrjaafar64@gmail.com.

By Ismaila Academician

One could succumb to knowing why Europeans and Americans are so obsessed with photo-keeping culture. Every fragment of their life, whether small or insignificant, is captured in a photo collection that will be made available on display or neatly hidden in a safe for future use.

Although that is not part of my culture, I can reason that they keep a photo collection, contrary to what we think. The Europeans do that to keep memory down history lanes – pedigree, simply because, at times, that is one heck of a thing one can grow up to know about their family. For example, parents die leaving behind their children at much younger ages; the lost ones, the adopted ones, and those who find themselves in the orphanage may get to know and connect with their past from photos made available to them.

That’s their pop culture right before the present day when digital tools made photos even easy to capture and share with FAF, even on the go. But, unlike photo cards, digital images travel far away and faster than we can ever imagine. It also keeps memories longer than photo cards, free from any physical damage, such as loss, overuse, fire and water consumption, etc.

Despite the importance of keeping photos, I feel that we overdo it. Nowadays, we take unnecessary images that we could not even keep, and recently, it’s becoming like an addiction. We just found ourselves taking photos that are not only insignificant but smartly improper that sometimes pose threats to our peace of mind.

On many occasions, photos land us in big troubles: many people lost their jobs, some were convicted and tried; it broke marriages, shattered dreams, and made rich people poor. However, sometimes the photos we take belie our sense of humanity. For example, sharing pictures of victims of a ghastly accident is more horrible than sharing nudes.

Although photos motivate and make things extremely simple, sometimes they appear to be fallacious and discouraging, and when that happens, it does more harm than the purpose it was captured for. Thus I advocate for photos for a good cause.

Ismaila Academician wrote from Kano via ismailaacademician@gmail.com.

By Kabir Fagge Ali

The rate of drug and illicit substances abuse among Nigerian youths is alarming. It is heading towards a national emergency, which should be considered and treated appropriately with the kind of attention it deserves in our today’s modern society.

According to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), in the last 24 years, cannabis potency has increased by as much as four times in parts of the world, even as the percentage of adolescents who perceived the drug as harmful fell by as much as 40 per cent.

This is despite the evidence that cannabis use is associated with various health issues and other harms, especially among regular long-term users.

Meanwhile, a worrisome development that should not be treated with levity is that there are 11 million cannabis users in Nigeria, a third of whom seem to be regular users needing drug counselling.

Similarly, the world drug report further noted that “Between 2010 and 2019, the number of people using drugs increased by 22 per cent, owing to global population growth. Based on demographic changes alone, current projections suggest an 11 per cent rise in the number of people who use drugs globally by 2030 – and a marked increase of 40 per cent in Africa due to its rapidly growing and young population. In Nigeria, this would signify that the country will have to grapple with approximately 20 million drug users by 2030, further deepening the public health and public security challenge”.

Recall that the Chairman of the National Drug and Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA), Buba Marwa, a retired major general, while reeling out some statistics, said Nigeria was not only the highest user of cannabis worldwide but that revelations from kidnapped victims had corroborated the facts that illicit substances were enablers of insecurity currently plaguing the country.

He noted, “it is not difficult to conclude that drugs have been catalysts of terrorism, kidnapping, banditry, armed robbery and various violent conflicts currently troubling the country.

The consequences of drug abuse can never be overemphasized, as it has birthed a lot of problems not only in the family but in the nation and the international community. Medical issues associated with drug abuse include mental disorders, liver cirrhosis, lethargy, irritability, and heart disorders. Studies also reveal that drug addiction contributes largely to social consequences such as internet fraud, gang formation, disruption of normal educational activities, cultism, violence, armed robbery, kidnapping, rape, sexual abuse, and reduced productivity.

Experts asserted that so many factors are responsible for indulging youths in drug and substances abuse worldwide. These include but are not limited to reasons such as; Parental abuse, depression, peer pressure, peer group influence, the proliferation of quacks in the drug trade, early childhood and adult trauma, and environmental circumstances.

Drug and alcohol abuse in Nigeria are serious problems and has mainly contributed to the sorry state of our dear nation. Therefore, we can no longer continue to ignore the implication of such action as it poses a threat to our lives and that of the upcoming generations.

Talking about the way out – the government alone cannot eradicate this social menace. It is a joint task involving every individual, community, family, school, civil society, religious organization, the media, business entities, and traditional leaders to halt the ugly trend.

Most of these drug abusers are jobless individuals roaming about the streets. Thus, the government should step up an effort to provide them with jobs, while others could be empowered with the necessary skills and tools to start their own business to carter for themselves and their family.

Again, the government should remember that stemming the tide of drug abuse is akin to solving the security challenges currently bedevilling the country. The time to take action is long overdue.

Fagge is a Student of Mass Communication at Skyline University Nigeria. He sent this article via faggekabir29@gmail.com.