• About Us
Monday, January 30, 2023
  • Login
The Daily Reality
  • Home
  • News
  • Opinion
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
    • All
    • Sports
    Can Arsenal be stopped?

    Can Arsenal be stopped?

    Veteran actor ‘Papa Ajasco’ is dead

    Veteran actor ‘Papa Ajasco’ is dead

    Rahama Sadau is just a western copycat

    Rahama Sadau is just a western copycat

    Messi leaving Camp Nou — Barcelona

    We made the best decision by letting Messi go—Barca president

    Breaking: World football legend, Pele, dies at 82

    Breaking: World football legend, Pele, dies at 82

    Morocco’s outstanding World Cup campaign and the lessons for Africa

    Morocco’s outstanding World Cup campaign and the lessons for Africa

    For my friends who don’t know the Bisht

    The 2022 Qatar FIFA World Cup: Triumph of cultural tolerance and setback to clash of civilisations

    On the conditional lionisation of Black players and racism in football

    On the conditional lionisation of Black players and racism in football

    Basketmouth’s marriage crashes

    Basketmouth’s marriage crashes

  • Local
  • Education
  • International
  • Kannywood
  • Entertainment
  • Religion
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • News
  • Opinion
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
    • All
    • Sports
    Can Arsenal be stopped?

    Can Arsenal be stopped?

    Veteran actor ‘Papa Ajasco’ is dead

    Veteran actor ‘Papa Ajasco’ is dead

    Rahama Sadau is just a western copycat

    Rahama Sadau is just a western copycat

    Messi leaving Camp Nou — Barcelona

    We made the best decision by letting Messi go—Barca president

    Breaking: World football legend, Pele, dies at 82

    Breaking: World football legend, Pele, dies at 82

    Morocco’s outstanding World Cup campaign and the lessons for Africa

    Morocco’s outstanding World Cup campaign and the lessons for Africa

    For my friends who don’t know the Bisht

    The 2022 Qatar FIFA World Cup: Triumph of cultural tolerance and setback to clash of civilisations

    On the conditional lionisation of Black players and racism in football

    On the conditional lionisation of Black players and racism in football

    Basketmouth’s marriage crashes

    Basketmouth’s marriage crashes

  • Local
  • Education
  • International
  • Kannywood
  • Entertainment
  • Religion
No Result
View All Result
The Daily Reality
No Result
View All Result
Home Lifestyle

Are you still the person your spouse fell in love with?

Admin by Admin
16 June 2022
in Lifestyle, Opinion
11
On learning to let go before it’s too late

Aisha Musa Auyo

0
SHARES
935
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

By Aisha Musa Auyo 

The famous marriage counsellor, Maryam Lemu, advised couples to ask themselves often if they are still the person their spouse fell in love with. The answer would help one reflect and recognise which area to concentrate on in order to improve their marital relationship.

But, how can one achieve this if they are oblivious of the qualities that attracted their partner in the first place? Why did your partner choose to spend an entire lifetime with you despite millions of others worldwide? What are the qualities that attracted them and made them want to be with you for the rest of their lives?

You should, at least, know more than half of those qualities that attracted your person significantly, if not wholly. These qualities may range from your looks to character, smile, skill, gestures, intelligence, or even the way you laugh. I know of a man who married his wife because of her loud laughter. He said the sound of her laughter makes his worries vanish. Unfortunately, and sadly, she stopped laughing after a life-changing event that occurred in their life. They lost their two kids to gunmen, and from that day, she lost herself. (Story for another day).

Men are creatures of few words. Women should pay attention to whatever they say or indicate the slightest interest in. If you are lucky your partner is outspoken, work is easier for you.

 I know life happens, and changes are inevitable, but we should always strive to bounce back or be better versions of ourselves. Laziness destroys marriage, and not improving ourselves and relationships is one of the commonest laziness in our lives. We find silly excuses, blame nature, work, kids, our significant others, and anything we can lay reasons on. But trust me, with willpower and dedication, we can improve our relationship daily with small, consistent steps.

See also  Massive extortion on Nigerian highways: A travelogue

This write-up is a wake-up call for you and myself as I have been slumbering too – I stopped writing almost entirely. I abandoned my PhD thesis completely, my relationship write-ups forgotten. In fact, I neglected even the short motivational and inspiring pieces I used to write.

And one of the qualities that attracted my husband (then boyfriend) to me was writing. He’s amazed by my ideas and intellect, my zeal and inspiration to write. He loves my wordings and spends time reading my childish drafts. So he supported and cheered me.

He even bought me a modem for browsing, research and online publishing… (At that time, when one could only access the internet in the cafe… When we used to pay 50 naira for 30min and 100naira for an hour of internet surfing time, so modem was a big deal). I embraced penning down ideas to the fullest and made sure I published at least one well-researched article daily.

Then life happened, and I changed. I was not too fond of typing anymore. I only want to read and move on. Sometimes my husband would say, “As a matter of fact, you are becoming lazy; you no longer write,” and I’d reply with excuses like school, taking care of the kids, and running a catering business ain’t a joke. They are all fables. I still get free hours to surf the internet.

See also  Tinubu/Shettima ticket: What are the issues?

Whenever I share with him a beautiful write-up by others, he would be like, “Great write-up! I just wish it were your words”. Still, I wasn’t bothered. It didn’t hit me hard till the day he invited me to listen to a radio programme where they invited writers and poets for discussion. He was so attentive and enthusiastic. Of course, the woman in me got pissed off, as the guest was a lady that day. I pretended to share his enthusiasm, but I was boiling inside. That night, I thought about myself and the lazy girl I had become.

The reflection reminded me of the many messages I received asking why I stopped writing. My blog followers become concerned, some disappointed. Finally, I made up my mind to try to be better. I know deep inside me I can do better. I need to rekindle that flame.

Tonight, ask yourself, what qualities attracted my spouse to you? Is that quality still present in you? Have you improved in that area? What should you do to rekindle that attraction?

 Remember, a happy couple produces happy and healthy kids, creating a healthy family, state, nation, and the world. So this single and simple effort can go a long way in improving the world.

Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A mother of three, a Home Maker, caterer and parenting/relationship coach.

Tags: lifestyleMarriageMuslim WomanNorthern NigeriaRelationship
Previous Post

Matawalle raises concern over escalating banditry, warns against opportunism

Next Post

2023: Why Lalong won’t make a good Vice-President 

Next Post
2023: Why Lalong won’t make a good Vice-President 

2023: Why Lalong won’t make a good Vice-President 

Comments 11

  1. Maryamibrahimhassan says:
    8 months ago

    Masha allah I like your talent your so hardworking sis keep it up

    Reply
    • Aisha Musa Auyo says:
      2 days ago

      Thank you my sis. You are an inspiration to alot too.

      Reply
  2. Maryamibrahimhassan says:
    8 months ago

    Masha allah barakallahu feek

    Reply
  3. Nuraini Anas says:
    8 months ago

    This is reawakening. Thank you, Aisha.

    Reply
    • Aisha Musa Auyo says:
      2 days ago

      A pleasure 😎

      Reply
  4. Ahmed Aliyu says:
    8 months ago

    We want improve our self

    Reply
    • Zubairu farida says:
      8 months ago

      Well said and an absolute truth
      Thanks
      Allah ya taimaka yayiwa zuria albarka

      Reply
      • Aisha Musa Auyo says:
        2 days ago

        Amin thank you very much

        Reply
    • Aisha Musa Auyo says:
      2 days ago

      Please do.

      Reply
  5. Abubakar Aminu Ibrahim says:
    8 months ago

    Thank you so much. Right now, I am in the same dilemma. I am loosing my desire to write; I don’t enjoy writing anymore! I have to stand up and face myself.

    Reply
    • Aisha Musa Auyo says:
      2 days ago

      Please do. God help and blessings.

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recommended

ABU lecturer wins ASR prize for Best Africa-Based Doctoral Dissertation

ABU lecturer wins ASR prize for Best Africa-Based Doctoral Dissertation

2 months ago
Airspace and aviation security in Nigeria: Matters arising

Airspace and aviation security in Nigeria: Matters arising

10 months ago

Popular News

    Connect with us

    Facebook Twitter
    The Daily Reality

    The Daily Reality

    The Daily Reality is an online news medium with a physical address in Kano State, Nigeria. As our name suggests, we aim to be realistic and truthful to our readers. Moreover, we are an independent, non-partisan company. Thus, we will always do our best to be fair, factual and accurate in our journalism.

    Follow us on social media

    Category

    • Business (62)
    • Education (283)
    • Engausa (9)
    • Entertainment (33)
    • Health (59)
    • International (159)
    • Kannywood (36)
    • Lifestyle (37)
    • Literature (31)
    • Local (288)
    • National (340)
    • News (1,213)
    • Opinion (924)
    • Politics (318)
    • Religion (158)
    • Science (13)
    • Security (37)
    • Sports (36)
    • Technology (59)
    • Travel (5)
    • Uncategorized (1)
    2023 elections: CDD trains journalists, media influencers on combating fake news

    2023 elections: CDD trains journalists, media influencers on combating fake news

    29 January 2023
    Tinubu and the dilemma of the 2023 presidency

    Tinubu and blueprint for the North

    29 January 2023
    Naja’atu Muhammad declares support for Kano’s Abba Gida-Gida 

    Naja’atu Muhammad declares support for Kano’s Abba Gida-Gida 

    29 January 2023

    © 2022 The Daily Reality - Powered by EasyLife Creative Studio.

    No Result
    View All Result
    • Home
    • News
    • Opinion
    • Politics
    • Business
    • National
    • Entertainment
    • International
      • Kannywood

    © 2022 The Daily Reality - Powered by EasyLife Creative Studio.

    Welcome Back!

    Login to your account below

    Forgotten Password?

    Retrieve your password

    Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

    Log In