Lifestyle

By Arita Oluoma Alih

Anthony de Mello’s book The Prayer of the Frog explores human nature. An excerpt states, “Human beings react, not to reality, but to ideas in their heads.” The writer illustrates this concept with a metaphorical story about a pestilence travelling rapidly to a particular city. 

The pestilence met someone on the way who asked why he was speeding. He replied, “I am going to kill 1,000 lives.” On his way home, he met the same person, who said, “You killed 50,000 lives, not 1,000.” He replied, “I killed 1,000 lives; the rest died of fear.”

This phenomenon expounds how the human mind works. The additional 49,000 died solely due to fear and the thought of being killed, demonstrating the powerful impact of perception on reality. The human mind can be potent and perilous, as people’s thoughts and fears can shape their experiences and outcomes.

As simple as the words ‘self-awareness’ may sound, they hold significance. Just like people will say some statements do not hold water, these have a lot of water. Many folks do not understand what it means to be self-aware. 

Self-awareness shields you from manipulation in today’s complex world. It keeps you alive and conscious, helps maintain spiritual balance, gives you a sense of identity, and enables you to reflect on your personality, allowing you to stand firm in the face of adversity.

While I was reflecting on my personality, including my purpose and fears about not achieving certain things before reaching a certain age and how it may affect my mental health, self-awareness of these concerns led me to plan countermeasures if I don’t achieve them as envisioned.

Before proceeding, self-awareness needs to be understood: what is the self, what is awareness, and what does the compound term self-awareness entail? The self refers to a person’s entirety, encompassing their sense of identity, being, character traits, and individuality, distinguishing them from others. 

On the other hand, awareness is an individual’s capacity for reasoning and knowledge about things, including how to navigate potentially distressing situations; it’s essentially consciousness of mind. Self-awareness is the development of a conscious mind that observes, perceives thoughts, and reflects on its own personality.

I am an advocate of self-awareness because it helps shape lives. It enables one to stand firm on one’s goodwill. It helps self-discovery and ultimately prevents manipulation into doing something against one’s conscience and purpose.

Although an important life tool, many youth do not understand self-awareness and its significance. In a society where immorality is becoming the norm, do youths know how not to allow themselves to be convinced that such acts and other social vices are not the norm in a society that craves growth?

To thrive, we must answer these questions as youth in a Nigeria with over 200 million people, where the national grid is constantly collapsing, where the ASUU is always on strike over wages, where the farmers-herders clash is unending, and where politicians are continually toiling with the masses’ intelligence.  

In all these, self-awareness comes into play through self-interrogation. For example, will I allow myself to be used as a thug for politicians because of some necessities? Your answers and actions reflect your level of consciousness. When ASUU is on strike, you ask yourself, “What do I do with my time?” and so on. 

The power of observation, a component of self-awareness, is often underrated. Pay attention to your surroundings and the people you interact with. Notice their level of self-awareness, openness to learning, and mindset. Surround yourself with positivity, as those lacking these traits often spread negativity, which is not good for either growth or development.

This also takes us back to a story from Anthony de Mello’s The Prayer of the Frog, in which a Viennese surgeon taught his students that a surgeon needs two gifts: freedom from nausea and the power of observation. He demonstrated this by dipping one finger into a foul-smelling fluid and licking another, testing his students’ observation skills. While they passed the first test by showing no nausea, they failed the second by not noticing the surgeon’s trick. This underscores the veracity of observation.

Thus, navigating the murky waters of life, especially for Nigeria’s youthful population, requires one to train their mind and be self-aware because self-awareness begets self-consciousness and self-observation.

Arita Oluoma Alih writes from Abuja and can be reached at aritaarit118@gmail.com.

By Aisha Musa Auyo

Let me start with this adage: being predictable is boring. The only way to keep attracting your man is by constantly exciting him.

A woman’s unpredictability and mystery can add excitement and intrigue to a relationship, keeping things fresh and engaging. This sense of mystery fosters curiosity and a desire to continually learn more about her, which can help prevent complacency. By maintaining an air of unpredictability, a woman can inspire her partner to stay attentive and actively invested, enhancing emotional and romantic connections.

A classy woman in a relationship exudes respect, grace, and self-confidence. She values herself and her partner, communicates maturely, and maintains her dignity even in challenging situations. Her elegance comes through her kindness, understanding, and ability to express love while setting healthy boundaries. This balance makes her an inspiring and cherished partner.

There are many ways to display charm and sophistication in everyday life.

When it comes to names, choosing affectionate ones for your spouse can depend on the mood, occasion, and shared history. Some days, you can be casual and warm, like “My love,” “Sweetheart,” or “Habibi.” At other times, use respectful titles like “Sir,” “Ranka ya dade,” “Alangubro,” or “Yallabai.”

Use playful nicknames on fun and flirty days (I won’t drop examples here, yauwa). During special moments, use affirming and supportive names like “My Hero” or “My Rock.”

In terms of dressing, if you’re always wearing native wear, surprise him with bum shorts and a spaghetti top. Or try a clingy evening gown or a see-through nightie. Let him know you possess what those Ashawos flaunt, except yours is reserved for his eyes alone.

When styling clothes, try different outfits that give you a new look and poise. We love comfort, but we can still make comfort look sexy and appealing.

Before experimenting with style, know your body type. Know what flatters your figure and what doesn’t. You can’t wear a fitted gown with a big tummy or bum shorts with bow legs. If you’re Qashi da Rai, avoid bubu—it may make you look like Muciya da Zani at home. Yauwa! This isn’t body shaming—it’s being real.

On perfume: know that perfume is the silent language of emotions. A single scent can lift a mood, stir memories, and instantly transform feelings. Use perfume to your advantage at home. It’s a soft weapon of attraction.

Learn to use scents to evoke peace, desire, and comfort. Use different perfumes for the day, night, special occasions, or even just to create a relaxing atmosphere. If you stick to one scent, he might get used to it, and it may lose its effect. Find out which scents he likes and rotate them. Explore English and Arab perfumes, humra, oils, kulaccam, incense, body mist, body milk, body sprays, bath mists—you name it. And remember: your house should smell pleasant too. Don’t smell like a flower while the house smells like Daddawa! Set the tone with your space, then yourself.

Nana Aisha (RA) said:

“I used to perfume the Prophet (peace be upon him) with the best perfume I could find until I saw the shine of the perfume on his head and beard.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5923)

When it comes to homemaking, we must constantly evolve. If you can’t change furniture often, update your space with small touches: new decor, decluttering, rearranging, or freshening up your environment. Minimal furnishing in small spaces often gives the cleanest look. Keep the house neat and germ-free. Fumigate regularly, burn incense, and use home mists, fresheners, and mopping sprays.

On behaviour—this is tricky, because we can’t be who we are not, but we can improve. If you’re naturally moody, try being more cheerful around your man. A cheerful wife is a huge turn-on. Be the woman he rushes home to. This way, he’ll notice quickly when something is off.

Avoid nagging. Often, a gentle reminder or silence works better than complaints. Be calm when he expects arguments, and then ‘show him shege’ when he least expects it—that’s the art of being unpredictable with a touch of sophistication. But this only works if your man is mature and understanding.

If you have the freedom and mutual understanding in your relationship, playfully surprise him by pretending to be away—perhaps plan a two-day trip, but return after just one. Welcome him with a good meal, a new nightie, and a memorable evening. Or, if he’s open to it, surprise him at work or send a special lunch to brighten his day.

If you always cook continental dishes, try traditional meals sometimes. If you usually serve food plainly, try plating and garnishing. Serve kunun tsamiya instead of a smoothie, or fresh juice instead of fruit salad. Don’t be the woman who only cooks shinkafa da miya and tuwo. Learn, upgrade, and initiate.

For hairstyles, try different braids or updos—ponytails, doughnuts, Kitson GABA, all-back, Calabar styles, etc.- but choose based on your hair type. Don’t insist on a style that doesn’t suit your hair. Most importantly, keep your hair clean and fragrant.

In Oza’s other room, learn to initiate intimacy. Don’t be the boring wife who waits for her husband to make the first move. A wife initiating intimacy strengthens emotional and physical bonds, makes her husband feel desired and valued, and breaks the assumption that one partner must always lead intimacy. It deepens connection, enhances communication, and fosters a more fulfilling relationship.

Also, explore different styles to keep things exciting and mutually satisfying.

If you’re used to black henna, try red or maroon. If you always wear ‘daurin ture ka ga tsiya, switch to turbans or different gele styles.

Sometimes, soften your voice—lower your tone and speak gently when needed. I heard there’s a tone called bedroom voice, right?

If you’re usually strong and independent, try being soft and playful sometimes.

If you’re always asking for money, ease up on small requests, especially when he’s managing big expenses. Surprise him instead with a perfume, shoes, a book, attire, pyjamas, a watch, or a ring. You shouldn’t always be the one expecting gifts. That’s why we say ‘ki nemi kudi, Lantana’.

And to you, Dan Lami or Man Sagir, know that all this charm, sophistication, versatility, and surprise can’t happen if you are too strict, stingy, or overbearing. You must be friendly and generous with your words, smiles, time, emotions, and yes, your wallet. Yauwa.

Lemme stop here….

Aisha Musa Auyo is a doctoral researcher in Educational Psychology. A wife, a mother, a homemaker, a caterer, a parenting, and relationship coach. She can be reached via aishamuauyo@live.co.uk.

By Aisha M Auyo

Marriage is a huge opportunity to earn good deeds. By adjusting your intention, everything you do for your spouse can be an act of worship. It is that simple.

Seek to please Allah and be intentional. Every single thing you do with and for your spouse can be a form of worship when Ihsan is your motivation, and your heart is engaged in the remembrance of Allah in some way.

And by default, when good things become a habit, your good deeds are habitually earned too, insha’Allah.

From time to time, make a specific intention and say, “Oh Allah, I am doing this for my spouse only for Your sake and to earn Your pleasure.” You’ll feel the difference. A mundane task gets supercharged!

Umar ibn Al-Khattab reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

“Verily, deeds are only with intentions. Verily, every person will have only what they intended. Whoever emigrated to Allah and His Messenger, then his emigration is for Allah and His Messenger. Whoever emigrated to get something in the world or to marry a woman, then his emigration is for whatever he emigrated for.” (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 54, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1907).

This hadith and post are especially important for my fellow women… wives… If all the good and extra things you do for your man are just so he wouldn’t marry another woman, know that your reward stops there. And he may marry other wives if that’s in his Qadr.

It might work if you’re being obedient, respectful, kind, and many other good things, just so you’d be his favourite among his wives, but know that the reward may stop there.

Let’s always remember that this world is only temporary… Our permanent abode is the aakhira. I am not in any way saying you should stop whatever you’re doing. In fact, I suggest we always try to improve, increase, and upgrade… 

Just be conscious of your intentions and be deliberate in whatever you do. Doing so, we will have double reward… here and in the hereafter, in sha Allah.

Aisha Musa Auyo is a doctoral researcher in Educational Psychology. A wife, a mother, a homemaker, a caterer, a parenting, and relationship coach. She can be reached via aishamuauyo@live.co.uk.

By Muhammad Sulaiman

A recent study conducted by the University of Otago has found that using electronic devices in bed, such as smartphones, tablets, and laptops, is linked to poorer sleep quality. The research indicates that individuals who engage in screen time while in bed experience delayed sleep onset and reduced overall sleep duration.

Dr. Bradley Brosnan, the lead author of the study, emphasized that while screen time before bed had little impact on sleep, usage once in bed significantly impaired sleep quality. The study observed that 99% of participants used screens in the two hours before bed, with more than half continuing this usage once in bed, leading to an average delay of 30 minutes in falling asleep.

Health experts warn that poor sleep can have serious long-term effects on mental and physical well-being, including increased risks of anxiety, depression, obesity, and heart disease.

Dr. Amina Bello, a sleep researcher at the National Institute of Sleep Research, who was not involved in the study, commented on the findings: “This research reinforces the importance of creating a tech-free bedtime routine. Even just 30 minutes without screens before bed can make a significant difference.”

The study recommends setting screen curfews, charging devices outside the bedroom, and engaging in relaxing activities like reading or meditation before bed to promote healthier sleep habits.

By Sa’id Sa’ad

“Silence is really golden. For many years, I have respected you as a great actress, but after listening to you speak for once, I lost all respect for you. Silence is, indeed, golden.” 

These were the exact words shared by a fan after watching one of the popular Kannywood actresses’ podcasts.

Recently, a podcast went viral in which four Kannywood actresses sat, warming their chairs, sharing opinions about relationships. While many criticise the podcast, I find myself wondering just how ‘golden silence really is.’

From Talk with Feezy by northern Nigerian artist Feezy to the highly criticised The Social Spotlight by Kannywood actress Nafisa Abdullahi, podcasts are slowly becoming the North’s new thing. Famous faces with thousands of followers are tapping into this audio-visual world and, irrespective of the content, are reaching a wide audience thanks to their massive followings.

Podcasting is the new cool in the North. Content creators, entertainers, film producers, actors, actresses and wannabe influencers are all jumping on this new wave. Everyone’s got something to say. But the unifying factor is they are all saying it in Hausa. This not only makes it content by creators from northern Nigeria but also for northern Nigeria and the broader Hausa-speaking population.

Now, let’s not be mistaken. Podcasting isn’t exactly new. Like most things, it just arrived in the North late. Young audiences are now tuning in, eager to consume original opinions from faces they admire beneath the thousands of Instagram followers. 

But here comes the twist. While popular faces trend with podcasts that often miss the mark, there’s a whole storm of lesser-known creators. Just as hungry. Just as passionate. Diving into podcasting, hoping to go viral. Few get it right. Many get it wrong, and most are just aiming to create controversy. 

It’s great that young creators are speaking up. It’s refreshing to see new northern voices adding their two cents to conversations about relationships, religion, family, entertainment, and society. But even at that, when done poorly, this new podcast culture is more dangerous than beneficial. 

I’m an avid fan of vodcasts, particularly those produced by Nigerians. I also strongly support consuming content from Northern Nigeria. However, just because it’s from the North doesn’t mean our standards should be low. We owe it to ourselves to demand quality.

Upon close observation, it’s clear that many of these podcasts bring ‘more face’ and ‘less value.’ In the first few minutes of an episode, you can already tell the host isn’t fully prepared. They ramble. They say empty phrases. And you’re left wondering: What am I supposed to take away from this? These podcasts often fail to provide value, and let me remind you, that’s the very foundation of podcasting: Value.

It’s a strange thing. Really. The lights are bright, the makeup is on point, and the guests are ready. The studio setup is perfect. Yet, after all that effort, the conversation feels empty. It leaves you craving more, but in a bad way.

This reflects the current trend in both public and private Hausa-speaking media, where a designated show for Kannywood stars is often featured. These shows rarely extend beyond inviting the stars for views and likes, failing to address the critical questions of why these shows exist in the first place.

But this isn’t just happening among famous creators. A new wave of young creators has emerged; unfortunately, many of them, without doing their homework, are merely copying the same format used by the stars, eager to replicate the same model: 

Create podcast → Talk carelessly → Create controversy → Get views and likes.

While this model keeps some people in the limelight, it doesn’t do the North any favours. It’s as if we’re holding a mirror to the region’s weaknesses and saying, ‘Here, look at us, this is what we’ve got.’ It’s reinforcing the negative stereotype that we can’t produce quality. 

Whether we like it or not, the digital presence of these creators who act as our representatives shapes how the world perceives us.

But let’s not ignore the few non-popular creators producing quality content in Hausa for the region. Many of these are tech-driven podcasts that, although still growing, offer substantial value. Unfortunately, these high-quality contributions are often overshadowed by the more glamorous but shallow content produced by popular stars or emergent ones desperate to trend. 

The question we must ask ourselves is: Which popular Hausa-speaking podcast from northern Nigeria truly offers real value to its audience? How much of the value is visible? Is the content truly for the audience or just for the producers? What narratives are being sold, and can we, in terms of quality, truly compete with podcasts from other regions in the country?

Until we get it right and have the right people behind the mics, with the right knowledge and intentions, these creators will continue to podcast about northern Nigeria’s weaknesses for likes. The unfortunate truth is that this will only serve to bury our efforts to challenge negative stereotypes six feet under. 

Ultimately, every creator has the right to produce what they want. In this case, the power is in the hands of the audience. 

You and I decide what should be popular.

Sa’id Sa’ad is a Nigerian writer and journalist currently residing in Germany. He is the author of the podcast-play “Gangare”. He won the Peace Panel Short Story Prize in 2018 and the NFC Essay Prize that same year. He presently works with the German broadcaster Deutsche Welle. 

By Abubakar Aminu Ibrahim

Deedee rushed around her room, gathering the necessary materials for her PhD proposal defense, her heart racing as she tried to remember everything. The session was officially set to begin at ten in the morning, as specified by the postgraduate college, but by seven, she was already anxious, determined not to be late for such an important academic event.

Thanks to the relentless morning traffic, Deedee barely arrived at her destination by eight. Clutching her papers tightly and breathing heavily, she sighed in relief—at least she was the first to arrive. Finally, she could set aside the worry of being late. She settled into her seat, absorbing the tranquillity in the environment and the nervous anticipation of her imminent defense.

The clock ticked on. By ten o’clock—the designated time—only a few familiar faces were moving about. It was evident that the college had only just started making arrangements for the venue and other necessary protocols. Deedee stayed patient. Maybe the session would begin by eleven, she thought, but I need to pick up Mukhtar from school by two.

Yet, the college workers—both academic and non-academic—moved about leisurely, their faces showing no awareness of time slipping away. As the hours passed, other students began to trickle in. No one noticed who had arrived first; there was no system in place to ensure that Deedee or any early arrivals would be attended to first. It seemed that the very concept of punctuality was foreign here.

Frustrated, Deedee later lamented, “Can you believe the session didn’t start until two o’clock in the afternoon? That was exactly when I was supposed to pick up Mukhtar from school?”

“I’m really sorry,” I said earnestly. “But this is what we refer to as ‘African time.’ People here often don’t prioritize valuing time.”

“But do you realize what that means!?” Deedee interjected. “It means our defense times were shortened, leaving us little opportunity to express the very ideas we spent sleepless nights preparing. I was caught between trying to present my work convincingly and worrying about my poor son. What could I say to impress the professors? What was Mukhtar doing at that moment? Was he thinking I had forgotten him? These thoughts, combined with exhaustion, drained all the energy I’d built up for the session.”

Sadly, lack of respect for time has become our trademark in Africa—or, let me be specific, in Nigeria, which I know too well. It is bad enough that the general populace disregards time, but it is even more disheartening that this culture thrives in academic environments. 

Ironically, some people deliberately arrive late to events, using it as a display of status. They ensure the crowd has gathered before they waltz in, basking in the admiration of those who foolishly equate tardiness with importance. Even more baffling is that these individuals always have some fools cheer and applaud their ignorance or arrogance.

We must recognize that our choices do not impact us alone. More often than not, they have far-reaching consequences for others. Consider how a single instance of lateness can disrupt the timing of subsequent activities. Life functions like a chain—delaying one link interrupts the entire sequence. If action A is postponed, it affects action Y, and ultimately, there may be no time left for action Z, which could be critical to someone else’s plans.

It is time we erased the shameful phrase “African time” from our vocabulary and our reality. We must recognize that adhering to schedules is an act of responsibility, a way of being our brother’s keeper. Whether as teachers, students, participants, or public speakers, we need to respect the time allocated to us, neither taking more than our share nor wasting what we have.

Yesterday is history, which is why it’s referred to as the past. Tomorrow is a mystery, unknown and unpredictable. But today—this moment—is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present. Use it wisely.

Abubakar Aminu Ibrahim wrote via abubakarmuhammadaminu21@gmail.com.

By Abubakar Aminu Ibrahim

Recently, I have been reflecting on public behaviour as I witness it in our local environments—schools, seminars, workshops, and similar gatherings. There is a stark contrast between what I observe here and what I see while watching lectures and discussions in the US, Europe, and other developed regions. The difference is striking, and unfortunately, it does not favour us.

Consider, for example, the simple yet profound act of listening and paying attention. I recently watched a Harvard professor facilitating a mature and highly engaging debate among his students on affirmative action and legacy admissions. What struck me was not only the relevance and depth of the topic but also the respect, composure, and attentiveness of the participants. Each speaker was heard without unnecessary interruption, and ideas were exchanged with mutual understanding—something that even the Nigerian Senate struggles to master.

Now, think about similar gatherings in Nigeria. It’s almost inevitable to hear teachers, speakers, or MCs repeatedly pleading, “Please be quiet!” during lessons or formal sessions. But why is it so hard for us to stay silent? Part of the problem is that many people do not realize that their individual choices matter.

People assume, “My little noise won’t make a difference; others are listening anyway.” But that is precisely the issue. The collective “little noise” from multiple individuals merges into a loud, distracting hum in the hall. If every person makes a conscious decision to remain silent and focused, the entire atmosphere will change. Ironically, those who think they are too insignificant to make an impact often do—but in a negative way. As the saying goes, if you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito!

Listening is not just about remaining silent—it is an act of respect and engagement. Your noise doesn’t just disturb serious-minded people around you; it also impacts the speaker’s performance. Non-verbal cues—such as the facial expressions of the audience—are vital to a speaker. A presentation can be either enhanced or ruined by the listeners’ posture, attention, and responsiveness. The energy a speaker receives from the audience directly affects the effectiveness of the session.

Your attention speaks volumes about you. Have you ever noticed how some people form friendships at events without even speaking to one another during the session? Yet, they find themselves drawn together by the positive energy they radiate through their attentiveness. I personally experienced this—I once met a remarkable individual whose rapt attention during a session caught my eye. After the event, I approached him, only to discover that he had also noticed the same attentiveness in me. That silent connection laid the foundation for a lasting friendship. We did not interrupt the session, nor did we disturb others, yet we gained something invaluable.

As a student, recognize that your attention is your most valuable asset. You get the most from your teacher not only by attending class but also by actively listening and fostering an environment where learning can flourish. The saying “attention is not free; it is paid” rings true—you must pay attention to acquire knowledge.

Likewise, as an audience member at any formal gathering, remember that your main purpose is to learn. Learning occurs only when you truly listen. Let us develop the discipline of attentiveness, as it is not only a sign of respect but also a characteristic of highly successful individuals. Public conduct is important, and in this instance, it starts with silence and a receptive ear.

Abubakar wrote from Katsina via abubakarmuhammadaminu21@gmail.com.

By Abubakar Aminu Ibrahim

Life is so fluid. What once seemed overwhelming, embarrassing, or deeply significant often appears trivial with time. As we move forward in life, we begin to see past experiences in a different light, realising that our worries were not as permanent as they seemed.

As individuals, we evolve our understanding, emotional strength, and ability to handle challenges. Situations that once troubled us may later become sources of amusement because we have outgrown them. This shift in perception is a sign of personal development and an indication that hardships do not last forever.

Time itself plays a crucial role in shaping how we interpret past experiences. Pain and hardship, no matter how intense, tend to fade as new experiences replace them. Reflecting on past struggles with a sense of humour proves that time has a healing effect and that difficult moments are only temporary.

When we understand this concept, we can approach life with more ease and patience. If we can recognise that today’s problems may seem small in the future, we will be less burdened by stress and anxiety. Instead of worrying excessively, we can develop a lighter approach to life, embracing challenges with confidence and optimism.

I recently gave a talk (a book review) about worry and anxiety. One powerful insight I gained from the session is that challenges are not only inevitable but also an integral part of life. A great way to avoid devastation from calamities is to be emotionally prepared for them. 

Imagine two people walking toward a corner—one is aware that there is a dog ahead, while the other is not. When the dog suddenly barks, the informed person remains calm, anticipating the encounter, while the uninformed one may panic and even stumble into another danger.

This is how mental preparedness can help us navigate life’s uncertainties more easily. By acknowledging that challenges are a natural part of our journey, we diminish their power to destabilize us, allowing us to confront difficulties with confidence, adaptability, and flexibility.

Take life easy; the way you laugh at yesterday today is how you’ll laugh at today tomorrow!

Abubakar wrote from Katsina via abubakarmuhammadaminu21@gmail.com.

By Suleiman Usman Yusuf 

Mentorship ideally involves a powerful exchange in which experienced individuals selflessly guide and motivate others, promoting growth and potential. It is a reciprocal act of giving back, forming a chain of knowledge and support that benefits both mentor and mentee. However, this is not solely hierarchical. Reverse mentorship highlights younger generations sharing expertise in rapidly evolving fields, where they often surpass their older counterparts in understanding. Nonetheless, reality frequently falls short. 

A significant misrepresentation, usually deliberate, undermines mentorship’s integrity, affecting both mentors and mentees. Many mentors publicly project an image of unflinching support, yet privately, many mentees report a lack of genuine engagement – not occasional lapses, but a consistent absence of promised guidance. 

This is worsened by mentors taking public credit for mentees’ achievements, even when their involvement was minimal or non-existent. This raises questions: Has mentorship become self-promotion, leveraging others’ successes for personal gain? Is the pursuit of accolades overshadowing the commitment to nurturing potential? 

This deliberate misrepresentation extends to mentees. While financial support from a mentor can be helpful (for project logistics or seed funding), the relationship shouldn’t be founded on this. Seeking a mentor solely for financial assistance devalues the mentor’s time and expertise, reducing the relationship to a transaction rather than a collaborative journey. This hinders the mentee’s development, as genuine learning requires commitment beyond financial gain. 

Beyond these core issues, several other challenges frequently undermine the effectiveness of mentorship relationships. Power imbalances inherent in the mentor-mentee dynamic can lead to exploitation or abuse. Mentors might take advantage of their position, while mentees might feel pressured to conform to uncomfortable expectations. 

Moreover, a lack of clearly defined goals and expectations frequently leads to aimless and unproductive relationships. Both parties must grasp the expectations and desired outcomes from the beginning, establishing regular check-ins to remain focused and assess progress. 

Effective mentorship depends on open and honest communication, as well as mutual trust. Without these elements, misunderstandings and frustrations can easily arise, potentially damaging the relationship. Furthermore, the demands of mentorship can lead to burnout for mentors who take on too many mentees or neglect to set healthy boundaries. 

Mentees, too, can become overwhelmed if they lack self-awareness or adequate support. Inconsistent commitment from either party, whether due to competing priorities or lack of motivation, inevitably leads to a lack of progress and can breed resentment. Finally, mismatched personalities or differing goals can make it extremely difficult for a mentor-mentee relationship to thrive. 

Ultimately, successful mentorship hinges on authenticity and mutual respect. Mentors must prioritize genuine support and guidance and focus on empowering mentees. Mentees should approach mentorship with a sincere desire for growth and understand that the rewards extend far beyond financial gain. 

The transformative potential of mentorship can only be fully realised through a foundation of honesty and reciprocal commitment between mentor and mentee. Maya Angelou wisely said, “I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

Suleiman writes from Abuja and can be reached at suleimanusmanbac@gmail.com.

By Muhammad Isah Zng

Sleeping is essential to the human body. It helps the body function well in the office, school, and daily activities. That’s why experts in health care emphasise that people should get at least six to seven hours of sleep daily.

Sleep improves physical health, helping humans build bones and muscles and strengthen the immune system. Although it decreases the lifespan of healthy adults, it also helps children grow up with the utmost energy.  

Therefore, sleeping enhances cognitive function. It plays a crucial role in brain function and development, helping the brain process information and get enough rest to function well. Consequently, a lack of sleep can impact cognitive function, leading to difficulties reading, understanding, or making good decisions. 

Furthermore, enough sleep helps the human body have a stronger immune system, which produces cytokines that fight infections and inflammation. Because of these cytokines, people who sleep well have fewer diseases. Therefore, chronic sleep deprivation can weaken a human’s immune system, making them more susceptible to illness. 

Sleep improves memory, and the human body protects the body from minor diseases and helps people perform well in the office, school, and other activities. 

Muhammad Isah Zng wrote from the Department of Mass Communication, Bayero University, Kano.