Opinion

By Rabiu Shamma

English is the official language of Nigeria, and it’s often considered a measure of intelligence. However, it’s important to provide some context for this claim. Many Nigerians learn English as a second language, and it’s often used in formal education and business settings. Therefore, having a sound command of English can be an essential asset for success in these fields.

While it’s true that speaking good English does not necessarily make one intelligent, the ability to communicate effectively in the language is often associated with intelligence. In addition, studies have shown that individuals who speak multiple languages tend to have higher cognitive abilities than those who speak only one language.

Furthermore, evidence suggests that individuals with a poor command of English are often perceived as less intelligent. This may be partly because English proficiency is often associated with higher education and social status. Therefore, those who struggle with English may be perceived as lacking in these areas.

However, it’s important to note that English proficiency is not the only measure of intelligence. Many other factors contribute to one’s intelligence, including problem-solving skills, creativity, and emotional intelligence. Therefore, it’s important not to rely solely on English proficiency as a measure of intelligence.

While English proficiency is essential for success in Nigeria, it’s important to recognise that it’s not the only measure of intelligence, as I have come to understand in my many years of learning and teaching English. Individuals who struggle with English may still be intelligent in other areas, and it’s important not to make assumptions based solely on language proficiency.

Rabii Shamma wrote from Kano.

By Lawan Bukar Maigana

The war is still raging. The fight in Sudan between two factional military groups, which started on April 15 — about two weeks ago, has left hundreds of people dead. Thousands have also fled for their safety.

A large number of foreigners in Sudan, especially diplomats and students, have been evacuated by their governments. But some are still stranded in the Sahara desert and in schools, among which are Nigerians.

Heartbreakingly, videos and audio of young Nigerians have emerged online, showing how helpless they have been since the war in Sudan broke out. Some of them claimed that they didn’t eat for days and that life had been hell for them since the start of the war, and the power struggle is still unfolding, leaving millions of people in fear.

No responsible country will leave its citizens at the mercy of rival factions whose attacks on each other can claim lives and properties. Therefore, it is baseless for anyone to compare the Ukrainian war and Sudan’s because the Ukrainian airport was not targeted by Russian soldiers, which is why countries were able to pick up their people safely and peacefully, but that of Sudan was and still is.

If Nigeria had insisted on evacuating Nigerians on the very day the Turkish plane was attacked, many lives would have been lost because the Nigerian plane, too, would have been attacked, but the almighty saved Nigerians. The government got some privileged information about the massive plan to attack evacuation planes, which was hitherto unavailable.

Hence, the Nigerian embassy wrote to the students urging them to be patient and pack their belongings so they could be transported to Egypt by road, where they could be brought home safely without any fear of attacks or victimization by anyone. This has saved the lives of my fellow citizens.

In appreciation, one of the ladies who was seen crying profusely, calling on the Nigerian government to come to their aid, has again made another video saying over 20 luxurious cars have successfully evacuated Nigerian students who were helpless and stranded in Khartoum, the Capital of Sudan.

She added that the government has again sent its representatives to Egypt to work on releasing students who were unable to cross the border due to some issues related to diplomacy. They, too, have been successfully cleared, and they are in Egypt.

It is important for Nigeria’s incoming government of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu and Senator Kashim Shettima to, as leaders of the giant of Africa, intervene. They should quickly come to the aid of distressed Nigerians still residing in Sudan. Their prevailing agony can only be imagined. Delay is dangerous, as it is often said in our local parlance.

Lawan Bukar Maigana writes from Maiduguri and can be reached via email: lawanbukarmaigana@gmail.com.

By Salim Marafa

It extremely itches my heart, mercilessly punish my soul and sometimes make me even feel like crying, whenever I hear a story of people that are running away from their problems rather than facing and solving them.

On this earth, the category of people I hate to the core, are those people who excel in nagging about their problems without making even a slightest effort to solve them. After them, then come those that are running away from their lives’ challenges and pretending all is well while is not, may be just to have a temporal peace of mind. Why the running? Why the pretention? Such kind of questions always wander in my head whenever I come across the story of such people.

Life on this earth, is naturally full of ups and downs. Therefore, people should know this and be courageous, bold enough and fearless to face those challenges. Running away from a life problem is never an option. We should understand that, like mathematical equations, problems are meant to be faced, confronted, balanced and solved.

Like human beings, problems have legs, hands and can move. Therefore, whenever one runs away from his share of life predicament, those problems will be running after him to wherever he goes. May be, up to his final home: grave. So, it will be much better, if we learn to dealt with our problems instead of running away from them.

And people, should understand that, God does not create problems and throw them into the life of his creatures just to punish them. No, its not like that. Creatures are beloved and dear to their God, and He is Loving, Caring and Merciful as His names signify. Therefore, definitely God creates problems for purposes; to test our faith, creativity, wisdom, sense of judgment and to make us learn from our previous mistakes. And most of the problems we encounter are just the consequences of our actions and inactions.

For instance, running away from problems is among the reasons Nigeria is at its current situation. For, it is in Nigeria one can find uncountable group of people who complain about the problems bedeviling them and the country, but they are not ready to make even a little effort to solve those problems they always talk about. And complain does not solve a problem, action does.

Nigeria, as a giant of Africa, has all it takes to be a great and developed nation. But the habit of “running away from problems”, “pretending all is well while is not” and ” excelling in complain than swinging into action” that beclouded the mind of its citizens are the obstacles that stand on her way and made the country “progressively stagnant”. It is high time Nigerians shun away from these negative habits.

Nigeria, is naturally enriched with human resources that can drive the country to the hill of success and development; ranging from, creative people, outstanding academia, technological gurus that have invented amazing things, successful entrepreneurs whose names echo through every mountain within the international business arena and what have you! Yet, the country is here languishing in the valley of problems such as bad governance, insecurity, high cost of living, not phone snatching which lead to killing of innocent citizens e.t.c., why?

The answer is that simple, Nigerians are good at complaining about problems than swinging into action. And not every Nigerian is ready to give all he has for his country to breathe a fresh air of development and freedom. Hence, the big dream of our people now is, let me gather a lot of money through whichever means and fly away abroad and enjoy my life. But I am not saying that all Nigerians abroad, run away beacause of the problems associated with the country.

There are few patriotic Nigerians that are abroad but their heart is here with us in Nigeria. They have unshakable love for the country and dream that one day everything will be alright. We have seen their patriotism through their social media; Facebook Posts, tweets and articles they write, it is all about Nigeria. May Allah bless them in abundance.

But to some, Nigeria is their main problem. So, once they get visa, that’s all. You will never hear from them again. They have forgotten their origin, pride and identity.

Running away from problems is never a good option. Nigeria is the only home we have, the nest where our biological eggs are hatched. So, If we see a good country in our dream that resembles a paradise, I think it is Nigeria that we should build to be that country of our dream. Not to run away to somewhere that will never become a home to us. Wise people say “if your home is broken, the responsibility of mending and fixing it is on your shoulder not on stranger’s shoulder”.

We should not cause our problems ourselves and expect someone to come and solve it for us. Our problems are created by us and therefore, we must solve them all by ourselves.

Nigeria is our home where we find shelter, an oasis where we find solace and we have nowhere like it. It is our pride, origin and identity, if we run away from it due to the heavy problems on her shoulders, who do we expect to come and solve those problems? Problems are meant to be solved not to be run away from.

May Allah bless Nigeria.

Salim Marafa writes from Bauchi, Nigeria.

By Dr Shamsuddeen Sani

When I first read about this book in the Guardian International sometime last year, I knew it had to be good. But even more so when I read somewhere about the author narrating a story of a Nigerian lady that bought 1200 copies of the book to distribute back here in Nigeria. In this seminal work, Born in Blackness: Africa, Africans, and the Making of the Modern World, 1471 to the Second World War, Howard French provides a comprehensive and nuanced exploration of African history and its impact on the world. French’s ground-breaking analysis challenges the dominant Eurocentric narrative of history, highlighting the agency and contributions of Africans to global events.

Subdivided mainly into five parts, the book covers a broad expanse of African history, from the early encounters between Europeans and Africans to the struggles for independence in the mid-twentieth century. Through a meticulous examination of historical events and phenomena, French emphasises the complex and interconnected nature of global history, illustrating how the experiences of Africans were intertwined with those of Europeans, Americans, and Asians.

One of the most striking highlights of the book is French’s deep commitment to challenging conventional narratives of African history. Through a nuanced analysis of primary sources and historical evidence, French emphasises the agency and contributions of Africans in shaping their destinies. He highlights how Africans responded to the challenges of imperialism, colonialism, and globalisation, from the rise of Pan-Africanism to the emergence of new cultural and intellectual movements.

Another key feature of the book is French’s emphasis on the dynamic and diverse nature of African history. Rather than presenting a monolithic view of African societies and cultures, French highlights the rich and complex tapestry of human experience on the continent. He explores the diverse political, social, and economic structures that emerged in different regions of Africa and how Africans adapted to changing circumstances over time.

Overall, this book is a tour de force of African history that challenges conventional wisdom and invites readers to rethink their understanding of the world. French’s masterful analysis and deep commitment to historical accuracy and nuance make this book a must-read for anyone interested in the history of Africa and its impact on the global stage.

By Salisu Yusuf

I was drawn into this debate by Abubakar Shuaibu Rimi when he mentioned my name under the status update of one of his Facebook friends on the above subject. Rimi wanted to hear my side of the argument. I am not supposed to say something on this issue because it’s my area of specialisation. But I am writing on it to make some clarifications.

First language is a name given to either native speakers or those who acquire a language from early childhood; I mean those whose parents are non-natives but who are exposed to the language after birth. So first language is learned successfully during childhood without the need for a formal setting. First language is, in fact, acquired (acquisition), not learned, because a child is endowed with what linguists call LCD, a natural gift endowed by God so that a child will automatically acquire any language he’s exposed to.

The first language is learned with less effort because the acquirer acquires it subconsciously, as he’s not even aware of grammatical rules.

 A second language learner, on the other hand, is someone who learns a language later after acquiring his native language. It’s usually through the formal setup and is leaned consciously with a lot of effort. While the first language is natural, the second language is a gift(intelligence), as the learner learns it consciously aware of grammar and can talk of the rules. 

Second language learner is intelligent because:

In second language learning, the learner grapples with linguistic elements such as grammar, syntax, phonology, phonetics, sociolinguistics, morphology, semantics, etc. Whenever he’s speaking in the target language, he’s conscious of almost all of them, yet you say he’s unintelligent!

When learning a second language, the learner must scale cultural barriers and embrace certain new cultural elements in the target language. In other words, he must acculturate by bypassing what linguists call social and psychological distances.

Part of the learner’s acculturation is to learn how to use the new target language independently of his mother tongue,  even though traces of his first language can be found in his expressions.

A second language learner must be intelligent enough to fight certain linguistic impediments such as systematic errors, mistakes, language interference, transfer, and interlanguage and learn the language, not his own.

A second language learner must pass certain difficulties to learn, especially when he passes 15 years, as his linguistic receptors in the brain are becoming strained, therefore, making learning more difficult. 

The question ‘Is the English language not a measure of intelligence?’ may only be applicable to native speakers because they have learned the language since childhood and in their linguistic environment. Even this claim is contestable. This is because not all speakers of a language communicate with it efficiently. A select few do. For example, if the late Ɗan Masanin Kano or the former Emir of Kano, Muhammadu Sanusi II, addresses a Hausa audience in Hausa, people tend to listen because any one of the two masters the art of speaking even in Hausa. Can you call any one of the two dull? 

So not only the English language, which isn’t our language, even a good Hausa speaker is intelligent because an unintelligent man can’t organise his words to impress an audience. Also, a good native/non-native Arabic speaker is also intelligent enough to organize his words to communicate impressively, so also is a Hausa native who communicates in either Fulfulde, Yoruba, etc.

Generating some linguistic elements such as grammar, phonetics, phonology, morphology, syntax, semantics, etc and combining them to negotiate meaning isn’t an unintelligent job. Not all language users combine the spoken and written expertise of language. The Hausa oral skills of Ɗan Masanin Kano, for example, wouldn’t be a sign of dullness but intelligence.

In other words, reaching linguistic “competence and performance” (the ability to combine sounds and meaning to communicate) even for native speakers isn’t a simple act of a simpleton, for not all language users are endowed with the skill to communicate well.

By Kamal Buba Danladi

According to the Oxford Dictionary, Urology, also known as genitourinary surgery, is the branch of medicine that focuses on surgical and medical diseases of the urinary tract and the male reproductive organs. Organs under the domain of urology include the kidneys, ureters, adrenal glands, urinary bladder, urethra and the male reproductive system.

On the 19th of April 2023, Dr Amina Buba became the youngest urologic surgeon in Nigeria, the 7th female urologist in our country and the first Muslim woman in Nigeria to bear that title. Amina truly has shattered the glass ceiling! She is an inspiration to young women all around the world that anything is possible.

Amina was born in Lagos and attended St. Jude’s private School in Festac Town, Lagos. Then she started her secondary school at Federal Government College, Kwali, Abuja, before she transferred to Federal Government Girls College, Bwari, Abuja. After completing her junior secondary school there, she moved to El-Amin International School, Minna, where she completed her senior secondary school and then proceeded to her A-levels at Irwin College Leicester, England.

Amina also studied medicine at Brighton & Sussex Medical School, Brighton, England and then did her Master’s in Tropical Medicine & International Health at the Prestigious London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, where she gained an MSc. as well as a diploma in Tropical Medicine and Hygiene. Shen then did her surgical residency in Abuja, Nigeria, which she recently completed.

When asked about why she chose this particular field, Amina says that she has always wanted to be a doctor, and when she qualified as a doctor, she knew that she wanted to be a surgeon but wasn’t sure of the surgical speciality. She began her residency programme with a posting in urology, and she fell in love with urology instantly because it is such a diverse surgical speciality, and you get to operate on the entire urinary tract as well as the male genital tract. There are also so many facets to it; there are paediatric urology, reconstructive urology, and upper and lower tract surgeries.

She further says that there are also plenty of opportunities to engage in both open and minimally invasive surgery, that is, laparoscopic, robotic and endoscopic surgeries. She was also drawn to it because, as a junior resident, she had 5 amazing consultants who, despite the strains of an under-resourced working environment, ensured that their patients got the absolute best.

Another interesting thing about the field, according to her, is that most urology patients have fixable problems and so it is really satisfying to identify a pathology in a patient, operate on it and discharge a happy, healed patient. She also added that urology is a fantastic speciality with so much room for growth.

She gave thanks to her mentors because they have been encouraging, and says she has had excellent teachers. Speaking about some of the challenges she faced, she says that they were there but were minimal and mainly from her peers questioning her decision to specialize in urology. This also prompted her to carry out a questionnaire-based survey on patients’ perceptions of having a female urologist. And interestingly, the majority of patients have absolutely no qualms at all.

In her practice, she has seen that even the few patients who seem sceptical tend to relax once she starts talking to them and establishes a rapport. She also says that she has had patients who specifically only want to see her, and she also added that when people are sick, they just want a good doctor and don’t care about their gender. She jokingly often asks people who question a decision to specialize in a primarily male-dominated area; “what of the men in gynaecology”. They only see women, but at least as a urologic surgeon, she sees both male and female patients. Another challenge she faced in training which she says is not peculiar to her, is the lack of facilities in Nigerian Teaching Hospitals. Our government really ought to do better.

And when asked about her family’s view on it she says that they were extremely supportive, and she really would not have been here if she didn’t have such supportive parents. Amina also says that her two elder sisters have been supportive, and they cheer her on in the process because the training is strenuous, emotionally and physically demanding and without her family’s support, it would have been impossible.

She also states that they have gone through the entire journey with her, and she appreciates them tremendously. She adds that she had some really supportive friends and bosses who have always cheered her on, and finally, her advice to young girls, especially in Northern Nigeria, is they should believe in themselves and strive for excellence, don’t settle for mediocrity. Pray hard, establish a good relationship with God and work hard.

Amina also has this to say “Pray like you are not working and work like you are not praying”. The world is our oyster, and there are so many glass ceilings waiting to be shattered! She concludes by thanking Allah for the mercies he has shown to her and by saying if she can do it, then anybody can. She hopes that her achievement will inspire young ladies to realize that there is so much that needs to be done.

Kamal is a student of Mass Communication from Skyline University Nigeria. He writes from Kano, Nigeria.

By Bilyamin Abdulmumin

While we listen to the Qur’anic “Tafseer” in the just concluded Ramadan, the scholar delves into an interesting phenomenon: nostalgia. He told the tale of how children used to be of importance to their parents in those days when children of even 12 years old could take full charge of farming the parent’s farmland, the parent’s job may be only to visit the farm to supply “fura” before bidding them farewell. However, in the present day, fully matured adults in their 20s or even 30s are not worth the salt to their parents—very distinctive highlights of the difference between the past and present.

A friend sitting close by turned to me to submit: it may surprise the scholar to realise that the scenario he is nostalgic about is still in practice in some villages. In addition, some of the current cultures in practice in the town may become obsolete and a matter of nostalgia in the future. This is quite evidence of social evolution.

But what if nostalgia is not just a way to remember the past but also a way to travel back in time? In the former case, imagine peering back in time to get an idea of what life might look like for ancestors or how grandchildren’s life may look in the future.

For example, one may need to visit relatively primitive villages. In contrast, one may need to visit moderately developed areas for the latter case. Many people who are fond of village visits are already fans of this concept of time travel.

Another concept brought time travel to the fore: first contact. This situation is where one culture is completely cut off from the rest of the world. So the first time these two civilisations make contact with each other, it becomes an exhilarating experience.

One such scenario involved New Guinea islanders and Australian miners. While looking for gold, these gold explorers would stumble on a community that had never interacted with modernity. These people pre-date all civilisations heard of; they are simply stone age exemplified.

Similar to New Guinea Islanders are Sentinel Islanders in India, but this uncontacted civilisation is different; they voluntarily refused to connect with their outside world and rebutted several attempts to connect them, but in any case, they stood their ground to remain isolated.

The intriguing and, at the same time, marvellous part of the ” first contact” is that it gives a picture of the extent of how far humans had attained, coming of age from simple tools like arrows, spears, and stones to sophisticated equipment like modern farming equipment, skyscrapers, and war arsenals.

So when such contact occurs, each side will become curious about each side’s values, practices, and gadgets. While 21st-century people would be captivated by archive tools like an arrow and spears, primitive people would be overwhelmed by things we even took for granted, like sugar, soap, mirror, matches, knives, cups, and many others.

Nostalgia proves a famous saying: change is the only constant in life, whether for good, like modern technology or for bad, like moral decadence. But research has good news; nostalgia provides self-contentment, hence a health booster, so let’s watch with keen interest while our older ones continue their voyage reminiscing.

Bilyamin Abdulmumin can be contacted via bilal4riid13@gmail.com.

By Abdullahi Haruna Kandash

In my opinion, Mayan Mata is one of the best series, if not the best movie ever produced in Kannywood. The movie portrays the vicious circle of poverty, a retinue of marriages, the mutilation of pregnant women and how children in society are raised with no regard for their futures.

Sadik Sani Sadik thinks nothing a man should be ashamed of if he bullies his wife. In the series, his pregnant wife faces a crisis despite her pregnancy. Unfortunately, they lost the child by miscarriage. Jamila Nagudu experiences petty humiliation after her one and only child is taken to Almajiranci. Daso’s son is a nasty disciple, too, a spoiled one. He was taken to Almajiranci when he was a child. He follows the gang and gets spoiled.

The movie portrays what really sabotages relationships, couples and children’s futures. The best part of this movie tells us that there are people in society with more clout who show no concern for other children and other women whose lives have been shattered by the cruelty of their spouses. I became truly interested in the movie after I watched some episodes. And I have seen many things that happen in real life portrayed in the movie. The director has done a wonderful job.

Kannywood should continue to bring cultural identities into its movies. The director also depicts literature, art and culture in the movie, and all these can be vividly seen in the different scenes of the film. Literature, art and culture are not something we can simply despise. They are like the air we breathe. And If we cut them off, the whole world will suffer.

Literature has enormously helped so many movies to gather an audience because of its literariness. Manyan Mata pictures exactly what is happening in our communities nowadays. It shows how parents treat their children with contempt. The director shows us how our societies are sliding backwards and experiencing immaturity.

But the best part of it, however, is that it teaches us how to understand the beauty of humanity, that everyone’s life matters.

Fati Washa experiences a worst-case scenario with her deceased mother’s co-wife. After watching the scene where her mother’s co-wife was trying to burn her schoolbooks rudely, I sensed that the movie is trying to tell us that societies that achieve better prosperities are those where huge investments are made in education. These are societies where every child is allowed to go to school to learn. This part also attempts to show us that every child should have access to education so that just and egalitarian societies can be built.

I hope the director will continue to fight inequality and bring sameness because that is what brings safety, security and a sense of belonging among people.

By Auwal Umar

The burden of expectation is often hard to shoulder. However, that won’t make the hope of the Kano people fade away on the good wish they bear for Abba to deliver Kano and bring the state out of the mess that engulfed her in the last eight years. Therefore, my constant prayer to Governor-elect Abba is: may the burden of expectation never dampen your indomitable passion, courage and vigour to serve and save Kano.

The menace of phone snatching is unimaginable. The slightest mistake of succumbing to the give-me-your-phone threat can easily land one in the most severe trouble of the loss of whole life. No being in the universe can create the wing of a fly. Imagine the priceless value of the Human soul! Think of how God created man most beautifully among all his creations. Unfortunately, some dim-witted dudes and miscreants, ungrateful and ruthless rascals, reduce human life to 20k or 30k. Sometimes, one’s life in their psyche is not worth 20k. 

Tackling phone-snatching head-on should be one of Abba’s plans. The threat dashes hope to see able-bodied men killing and maiming innocent humans for just some tokens they might forcefully make you depart this world and render the world into a darker place by destroying Allah’s beautiful creation that has no equal or duplicate. The perpetrators mostly go scot-free daily because impunity has already taken over the course of justice in the land. The absence of justice or lack of it can singlehandedly expedite the alarming rate with which new breeds of phone snatchers are hatched daily to get on with the dubious business as usual. 

This is the brain behind the meteoric rise of the devilish act of phone snatching. Placing a Sharp knife on one’s throat in a give-me-your-phone threat is no longer newsworthy as it has been reduced to the new normal in Kano. No one, I mean no one, can accurately estimate the number of people killed or rendered casualties from this unspeakable atrocity.

The joint task force should be initiated and equipped with modern security apparatuses in conjunction with vigilant groups in every nook and cranny of the state, with particular emphasis on the major roads that have almost become the constant targets and hubs of the perpetrators. Moreover, they should always have a system that may guarantee the check and balance process to sanitise the system from being hijacked by the invisible hands of the clandestine gangs of connivers.

The justice system should be sped up and established, or else jungle justice might be the last resort to curb the precarious acts of these people. I fear us all when people decide to have a recourse to bring them to justice through the backdoor without formal judicial proceedings. May the hand of justice be the mouth to speak the language and criminals understand better.

By Dr Musab Isah Mafara 

I think Muslims need to be careful with this ‘alphaness’ ideology that some of our brothers are advocating among Northern Nigeria’s netizens. They seem to encourage men not to sympathize with women, especially their wives, and to show no empathy when dealing with these women entrusted with them as wives. Most of these views come from what is termed ‘taken the red pill,’ essentially, men who have been awakened from feminist delusion to the supposed reality that society is fundamentally misandrist and dominated by feminist values.

This is contrary to the teachings of Islam. And while ‘taken the red pill’ advocates go this extreme as a counter to the other extreme of feminist ideologies that openly promote rebellion and hate against the menfolk, both perspectives tend to be against the teachings of Islam, which expect Muslims to take the middle course, often. And although we see writings from some Muslim women in the North suggesting that they have imbibed these feminist ideologies, there is no justification for going the other extreme.

The Prophet (SAW) said women were created from the most crooked rib, and if you insist on straightening her, you will break her, which means to divorce her. He (SAW) taught Muslim men not to expect perfection from women. Even his wives, the mothers of the believers, were cautioned in the Qur’an on some of their behaviours towards the Prophet (SAW). How, then, could one expect perfection from other Muslim women?

Yes, Islam expects total obedience to husbands from women in what is not Haram, and a woman who fails to obey her husband is living in sin. She is to serve him and should not even go out of her home without his permission, among other duties. The Prophet (SAW), after an Eid prayer, went to the women’s side and informed them that one of the reasons that some of them may be taken to hellfire on the last day is their disobedience towards their husbands.

But as humans, some women will fail in fulfilling the rights of their husbands just as some men will fail in their responsibilities too. Some women are evil in their actions and treatment of their husbands, just as some men are next to Satan in the way they treat their wives. These are by no means reasons to hate on the womenfolk, in general, nor the men in toto.

Husbands, as leaders, are expected to be full of forgiveness and understanding and should show appreciation for the good side of their wives. Qur’an Chapter 30:21 says, “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who give thought.” This is the way a couple should be seeing themselves.

Again, being kind, helpful, and emphatic to your wife is Sunnah. It is even commanded in the Qur’an, Chapter 4:19 says, “… And live with them in kindness …” The Prophet was helpful to his family in every way possible. He wasn’t washing plates nor sweeping the apartment every day as some Muslim women want to emphasize, but it is on record that he did help – maybe a few times. A Muslim man will earn rewards if he helps with the intention of following the Sunnah. He will earn rewards when he is helpful, kind, and generous to his wife(s). He (SAW) said the bests among you are those who are best to their wives.

A wise man once said to me that one of the ways to have a healthy marriage is to be as patient as possible with your wife when she fails to fulfil your rights (not adorning herself to your taste, for instance), but you should not ignore her actions when the rights of Allah are not fulfilled (for instance, when she is committing sins, you have to stop her because she is under your care and you will be asked by Allah). 

As Muslims, we do not ‘throw women on the street’, and our women do not ‘belong to the street’ regardless of how much we feel they wronged us. We call our wives even if they do not call us; we just assume they are busy with the children or work. We do not live in a tit-for-tat kind of setting with our spouses in which we take revenge for every wrong one does. We do our bit as Islam commands us, even if the other party is not reciprocating as they should. We believe this temporary world is a test, and we do our best to pass this test with the hope that Allah will reward us with the best of His Jannah in the hereafter.

Both men and women should learn from the Prophet’s teachings in their marital lives and not copy the tone of the ‘red-pilled.’ They are reacting to the misandry that they believe is prevalent in the Western world.

Musab Mafara, PhD, can be contacted via nmusabu@gmail.com.