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Body shaming, self-loathing and the quest for validation

By Maimuna Abubakar

People’s opinions of others have always psychologically impacted their social relationships and behaviours without considering an individual’s mental state and capacities. Many people say things to each other that are more painful than some physical injuries. Often that has detrimental effects on the psychological well-being of the parties involved. The issue of body shaming often results in self-loathing and even compels people to yearn for people’s validation.

Body Shaming is the act of humiliating a person by mocking, making jest, or making critical comments about their physical appearance in the form of the person’s body size, shape or weight.

Often, those who body-shame others claim to be just joking. However, the negative impacts of body shaming are numerous; it makes victims self-conscious, brings about issues of low self-esteem and poor self-confidence, and makes victims question their self-worth. Mentally, it creates the feeling of self-disgust or shame in the victims, while some feel like they have some biological defects like something is wrong with their biological makeup.

The media, especially social media and some product marketers, have succeeded in projecting what an “ideal body type” should look like, which is where most body type critics derive their inspiration. They believe that one has to be at least close to those “ideal body types” or that such a person is lacking in their physical structure.

Although fat shaming is the most common form of body shaming, people must understand that ‘skinny shaming’ is just as hurtful as fat shaming. Because some people are naturally thin or fat, it is in their genetics. Therefore, they can’t just gain weight or lose it simply because people say they should.

Body shaming has led many people to develop eating disorders that can be fatal to their general health, such as Bulimia Nervosa and Anorexia Nervosa.

Bulimia or Bulimia Nervosa is a serious disorder that occurs chiefly in females, characterised by compulsive overeating usually followed by self-induced vomiting and is often accompanied by guilt and depression.

Anorexia or Anorexia Nervosa, on the other hand, is another serious disorder in eating behaviour characterised by a pathological fear of weight gain leading to faulty eating patterns such as prolonged starvation.

Eating disorders are currently the mental conditions with the highest mortality rates, as research statistics show in Japan, the USA and other cities worldwide (BMC Psychiatry: 2020).

Body shaming has led to so many attempted suicide. Victims of body shaming, over time, begin to hate themselves as they view themselves through the lenses their critics see them. So many potentials are not discovered because victims of body shaming dread people’s criticism about their physique and, as a result, prefer to keep themselves hidden.

When I opened up a discussion about body shaming with some of my friends and classmates, it surprised me how many of us have, at one point in life, suffered at the hands of body type critics, and some are still suffering.

One of such friends, who is chubby, told me that when she was in her second year at the university, her roommate pleaded with her not to conceal her beauty by putting on the hijab over her well-tailored dress. When she refused to oblige, her roommate accused her of being insecure about her body weight and diagnosed her with an inferiority complex. She said that comment made her see herself differently and that throughout that academic session, she questioned her every action, constantly assessing herself until she deliberately learned to love herself for who she is.

Another close friend recounted how her close friends, immediate and extended relatives, would say things like: “Ina zaki kai wannan jiki haka?”, “Da dai kin rage cin abinci ya fi ye maki saboda maza bã sã son mace mai qiba“, “Wacce ko kyau ba ki yi ba. Wannan qiba haka wazai kwasa?” Her friends will joke about her body size, “me kike ci ne haka, muma a san ma na mu ci mu yi qiba“.

They possibly may not intend to hurt her feelings, but little did they know that such comments shatter their friends’ and families’ self-esteem.

Another said that her professor kept addressing her as a married woman, always asking her about her husband and children in class. Her classmates would laugh about it, and she would laugh too. Still, it hurt her every time he made such comments because she believed he assumed she was married simply due to her plus size.

A very close friend said that when she was a teenager, she hated herself so much that she always had suicidal thoughts because people kept telling her that she was too thin, too skinny, too bonny, shapeless etc. “Don’t put on tight-fitting jeans; it’ll expose your thinness”, “Put on baggy dresses to conceal your shapelessness”, “You look more like a boy than a girl”, “You’re ugly and unattractive, please eat some fatty foods to help you gain weight so that you’ll look presentable”, etc.

Although females get more body shamed, men, too, are victims on several occasions. A cousin has refused meals several times because anytime he sits to eat, his parents remind him how fat he is growing and how he needs to watch his weight. They will always compare his size to his friends and other cousins. These are his very own parents!

Another 20-year-old I met recently told me she wished God hadn’t created her because when she was in secondary school, some of her classmates and neighbours always complained about how thin and unattractive she was. It made making friends difficult for her because she couldn’t discern who liked her for real and who was just tolerating her. She, therefore, grew up in solitude, always alone. But now she finds herself in the university and realises she can’t continue her solitary life, yet she doesn’t know how to approach people. She was literally scared of even talking to me.

So, to the parents who see fault in their children’s biologically inherited physical structure, I hope you remember your role in bringing such a child to life. If you find their body size, shape or weight repulsive, remember that your genetics created them.

To friends ( or so-called), relatives ( immediate and extended ) and other members of society, please DO NOT verbally abuse people with your judgemental, unsolicited opinions of them. There’s no nice way of body shaming; “I was just joking” is only an excuse to humiliate people whose daily struggles your feeble mind may not be able to contain.

Finally and most importantly, to the victims of people’s insensitive, inhumane criticism about how you look and why you look that way, know that YOU DO NOT need anyone’s validation to be whom you want to be. Work on yourself, eat healthy, exercise to avoid illness, and keep a healthy head space.

Maimuna Abubakar is a Sociology student at Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria. She sent this article via maimunaabubakar200@gmail.com.

On political indoctrination of the Nigerian masses

By Zaharaddeen Muhammad Azare

Being that political leadership share some characteristics with business partnerships where many shareholders come together to own and run a business, politicians, especially in developing worlds like Nigeria, connive with the prominent and respected members of societies for the maximum profitability of their business of maintaining themselves in power for their personal benefits.

In Nigeria, politicians use poverty and ignorance as instruments of achieving; loyalty, support and even votes during elections from the masses, this is regardless of how they treated these masses while in power or before the declaration of interest in political leadership. It’s a belief that “The strong is never strong enough to maintain himself in power unless he utilises trusted and well-respected members of the lower class.”

It’s apparent in Nigeria that whenever elections draw nearer, politicians recruit trusted members of societies to manipulate people’s beliefs and perceptions about politics, and sadly, this time around, the recruited personalities include; journalists, religious scholars, traditional rulers and even the hungry educated class who teach in higher institutions of learning.

Mass quality education being a core instrument of achieving progressive Democratic leadership as it gives citizens insight as regards whom to vote for or not and also empowers citizens to say no to anti-people policies of the government, is neglected and often considered valueless.

Everyone is aware of how politicians these days inject nonpartisan and impartial journalists who are known for doing justice to their profession of finding out facts and communicating them to the public and as well as holding politicians accountable into politics by appointing them as; Media aids, members of campaign committees or their social media forums’ handlers.

Religious scholars also, instead of guiding people on how to strengthen their relationship with the Almighty God, engage in advertising some politicians while criticising others in their public gatherings, which is an embezzlement of trust people bestowed to them.

The worse part of it is when these politicians get into power; they develop authoritarian and oppressive tactics to subjugate and antagonise all and sundry irrespective of whether one supported them during an election or not, and even advice, their arrogance will not allow them even to seek not to think of utilising them from the categories of people that worked for their success.

To conclude, I suggest that we have knowledge and experience about how these politicians ruled before and their capacities, let’s use it as a barometer for choosing whom to vote for, not on the basis of other people’s opinions.

Zaharaddeen Muhammad Azare writes from Bauchi state and can be reached at zahmuhaza@gmail.com.

StarLink and Nigeria’s telcos competition

By Ibrahym El-Caleel

StarLink is a distant competitor to our telcos. The product price edges it out of immediate competition with MTN, Airtel and co. However, it is good that it is already here. In fact it will definitely gain a fair share from some businesses who have been looking for an alternative to the existing telcos.

Setting up StarLink costs more than N400,000. Personally I think it will be a better buy for businesses who spend about 60-75% of this amount for internet access. They will be bidding farewell to the periodic disappointments we experience from the contemporary telcos.

Market is dynamic. As StarLink takes some time in Nigeria, it will be ambitious about increasing its market share. It will be innovative about coming up with something that will be relatively affordable for the teeming internet subscribers. This is when the true competition will begin. For now, the penetration will be low because at the moment a lot of Nigerians are quite very rich. The consumer conversion will be minimal.

MTN began in Nigeria with N1,500 airtime card only. And it expires in 7 days. If you don’t use the airtime after 7 days, you have to buy another one. This was the case c.2001. Fast forward to 2021, you can have a N100 airtime and keep it for one year if you so wish. StarLink might have to develop something cheaper to get more subscribers onboard. If your things are expensive, you can sell it and make money in Nigeria. If they are affordable to many, you make quicker turnover, bigger sales, (arguably) more profit. This is Nigerian market.

Naira Scarcity: Sterling Bank lifts charges on fund transfers

By Muhammadu Sabiu 

A commercial bank in Nigeria, Sterling Bank, has announced that all bank fund transfer services will be offered for free for seventeen days.

This is coming amidst the tough time customers are passing through when withdrawing and depositing money, using online banking, and other financial activities due to the CBN’s new naira note policy that placed many restrictions.

In an email Sterling Bank sent to its customers, it says, “We at Sterling understand the difficult times many of our customers are facing. In light of this, all our fund transfer services will be offered Free of Charge to all personal account customers from February 6, 2023, till February 18, 2023.

“Additionally, we are also pleased to announce that we will be issuing free Debit Cards to all interested customers. This will provide you with a convenient and secure way to make purchases and carry out transactions. You can order your cards directly on OneBank (Download the latest version on your phone’s App Store or simply go to sterling/OneBank)”.

Turkey-Syria earthquake kills 1,200 people, injures 3,000 others 

By Muhammadu Sabiu 

Over 1,200 people were killed, and nearly 3,000 were injured when an earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale rocked Turkey and Syria.

Local media stated that the earthquake occurred close to the border between the two countries.

Millions of people in the two affected countries, including Israel and Lebanon, were startled from their beds, according to a Monday report by the New York Times.

The Aleppo, Hama, Tartus, and Latakia districts have so far reported 237 casualties, according to the Syrian Health Ministry.

Lebanon and Cyprus were also affected by the strong earthquake that struck at 4:17 a.m. near the Turkish city of Gaziantep at a depth of 17.9 km.

The 10 cities of Gaziantep, Kahramanmaras, Hatay, Osmaniye, Adiyaman, Malatya, Sanliurfa, Adana, Diyarbakir, and Kilis were reportedly damaged, according to a statement to the media by Turkish Interior Minister Suleyman Soylu.

The Minister said at least 23 fatalities were recorded in the Malatya province, which is northeast of Gaziantep, while 17 fatalities were reported in Sanliurfa, which is in the east, and the remaining fatalities were reported in Diyarbakir and Osmaniye.

According to Xinhua news agency Ahmad Damiriyeh, Syria’s Deputy Minister of Health, general emergency preparations have been implemented for the affected districts, and private institutions have been instructed to accept all injured patients.

Dutse gets new Emir

By Ahmad Deedat Zakari

The Governor of Jigawa State, Muhammad Badaru Abubakar, has approved the appointment of Haneem Muhammad Sanusi as the new Emir of Dutse.

Governor Badaru’s approval was sequel to the recommendation of the Dutse Emirates kingmakers.

According to a statement made available to journalists on Sunday, three persons contested for the royal seat. However, the seven kingmakers had unanimously voted for Sanusi’s emergence.

The new Emir succeeded his father, Nuhu Muhammad Sunusi who passed away in an Abuja hospital last week.

Khadija University Majia appoints new VC

By Aisar Fagge

The Management of Khadija University Majia has appointed Professor Umar Muhammad Sani Indabawa as the new Acting Vice Chancellor of the university.

A statement issued by Kabiru Zubairu, the Information and Protocol Officer (IPO) of the university, relayed the news to journalists on Saturday.

The statement said Professor Umar’s appointment was a result of voluntary resignation of Professor Hassana Sani Darma on 24th of January, 2023.

It added, “This is to inform the university community and the general public that, The Chairman Board of Trustees of Khadija University Majia, His Royal Highness, The Emir of Kazaure, Alhaji Najib Hussaini Adamu (CON), has approved the appointment of Professor Umar Muhammad Sani Indabawa as Acting Vice Chancellor of Khadija University Majia with effect from 1st February, 2023.

“Professor Umar’s appointment was a result of voluntary resignation of Professor Hassana Sani Darma on 24th of January, 2023.

“Before his appointment, Professor Umar Muhammad Sani Indabawa, was the immediate former Coordinator, Police Academy, Wudil and also a Professor of Chemistry.

“On behalf of the university community, we wish to sincerely congratulate Professor Umar Muhammad Sani Indabawa for his appointment,” the statement concluded.

Naira Scarcity: Peter Obi urges Nigerians to be patient with FG

By Ahmad Deedat Zakari

The Presidential Candidate of the Labour Party, Peter Obi, has urged Nigerians to be patient with the Federal Government as regards the hardship caused by the new currency redesign.  

Mr Obi made the appeal in the early hours of Sunday in a tweet via his official Twitter handle.

The redesign of Nigeria’s currency has enthroned scarcity of Naira notes and caused severe hardship to Nigerians who are unable to get cash to carry out their daily transactions. 

Mr Obi, while pleading with Nigerians, said currency redesign is not peculiar to Nigeria, and it comes with long-term economic advantages despite the initial inconveniences. 

He tweeted: “The currency redesign is not peculiar to Nigeria. It is an exercise that comes with some inconvenience and pain, but it has significant long-term economic and social benefits. Even though there are improvements that can be made, I urge Nigerians to bear with the CBN and Federal Government with the hope that the general populace and Nigeria will harvest the gains that will come with the reforms.”

Dreams from 2015 and the change

By Musa Kalim Gambo

Around this time in 2015, the most populous black nation on earth was on the eve of casting her protest votes in favour of a highly populist politician. A politician who has by then taken blows from three different rounds of defeats at the polls. The very politician who has promised to end our perennial problems of corruption, insecurity, and economic instability once he emerged as the Grand Commander of our beloved nation. This promise was well accepted with the only collateral of a previous track record and a much-touted reputation of integrity. A dim lamp of hope was hoisted so high that the septuagenarian holding would sweep away all our troubles. He would lead us to prosperity and make life so easily affordable to even the almajiri on the streets.

When this Messianic politician finally defeated a sitting president with the free votes of the talakawa, it was a precedence that many of us have never imagined would ever occur in our part of the world or lifetime – in an atmosphere so chaotic and toxic, where powerful politicians could easily use instruments of the state and streets to hijack the God-given democratic will of the people.

When this occurred, there was celebration all over the nation – many patriots either slaughtered animals or lost their lives at the climax of the celebration of this ‘change’, the infamous slogan of the political party of the Messiah. So life was supposed to change for the better. Now we have one of us at the Rock, one who deeply cares about our woes. Almost eight years later, life continues to get bitter at an exponential rate.

The very people who would throw heavy rocks at anyone who dares criticise the Messiah now despise his name. Some of them were reported to have thrown rocks in the air last week as a form of protest against the new developments that have emerged out of his determination to leave a ‘legacy’ of a better nation. A state governor almost withdrew an invitation extended to the Messiah to commission some of the good works that have been done for the benefit talakawa of his state. With this turn of events, one wonders, are we living a mass national nightmare? Life could only have so changed in a nightmare – someone has to wake us up – the dream of buying a liter of PMS at the rate of ₦50 must not metamorphose into ₦185, or is it ₦350? Please wake me up. No one should remember that ASUU has been on strike for cumulatively over two years in the past eight years. This was not part of our dreams when we set out to vote for a Messiah in 2015. Let us only remember that events at the international scenes shaped our local reality, even if our dream is obviously a nightmare now.

It is certainly true that it is now safe to travel on the highways of the Northeast, even at night, unlike before and in the early days of 2015. But how safe is it to travel in the North-west even at midday today? How safe is it for the talaka in Birnin Gwari to go to his farm? Anyway, the road was safe for the presidential candidate of the ruling party to have travelled for several hours recently.

So much has been anticipated about the coming this year. At some point, I thought of boarding the Abuja – Kaduna train to escape from the uncertainties leading to this year of hikes in fuel price and scary increases in the price of basic food items that keep the talaka alive, like the maize.

As this much-awaited year began, I have so much concern, especially over this maize. There are contending issues surrounding the new elite status that our maize has acquired – the cost of fertiliser, which would still not have prevented farmers from producing this food item, and the devils who have now taken control of the farmlands. These devils, the kidnappers, I hear, are gradually being neutralised by the gallant men of the Nigerian armed forces.

Being an election year, we will now be out in search of a new Messiah – one who will save us from the turbulent realities that we have endured. We forget that politicians would not save us. If they would, by now, we would have been across the Red Sea like the people of Moses on our march towards the Promised Land.

In the end, we must now learn to be weary of those politicians who stand at the centre of the market square to lay claim that they have a silver bullet to all our troubles. Of course, we cannot stop them from making promises of turning the hell we are facing into an earthly paradise, but we must not forget to subject them to serious interrogation. We must not forget to seek a clear understanding of the nature of the policies they intend to implement.

If Nigeria has proven so difficult, so challenging, so complex, for even the finest leader of the millennium, the Messiah who has presumably done all the best he could, who do you think would have the stamina to step into this giant pair of shoes now stuck in the thick mud of economic instability, uncertainty on major highways, the prohibitive cost of living, and the rise of non-state actors preventing the talaka from going to his farm in the bush? February 25th would be the day to cast our answers down into the ballot box.

Gambo writes from Zaria and can be reached at gmkalim@hotmail.com

Hali Abokin Tafiya: A Tribute to Late Sarkin Dutse

By Ahmad Muhammad Ahmad

I was thinking of a befitting title for this short tribute when I stumbled upon the adage above. It loosely translates to ‘character is a life companion’ and aptly summarises the thoughts running through my mind seeing the pool of praises resulting from the death of His Highness Sarkin Dutse, Alhaji Nuhu Muhammad Sanusi.

The life and times of great men teach subsequent generations about the true essence of life. Eulogies and tributes from equally great people are a testament of honour and moral eminence. The late Sarkin Dutse is a quintessence of nobility and magnanimity, a monarch with so much panache yet full of humility.

If the most beautiful ones amongst us would stay longer or forever, death would never have approached this epitome of scholarship and royalty. But immortality remains a characteristic of our Creator, the Lord of the worlds and to whom we shall all return.

I recently learnt that purpose and passion mean different things. Purpose revolves around using your passion for impacting the lives of others. The life of the late Sarkin Dutse exemplifies this to a great extent. He used his passion for philanthropy to create a rather better world far and wide. His life and leadership are true symbols of purpose, benevolence and contentment.

Late last year, I received a generous gift of his book (autographed by himself), which captures his experience growing up and memoirs from his several travels and encounters. I could not contain the joy of seeing my name handwritten by the Emir himself. I was meant to meet him after finishing the book, but as God would have it, it was never destined to be.

The second page of this book carries the following, which is also a summary of how he lived his life: “When you were born, you cried, and the whole world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice”. Sarkin Dutse truly lived up to these words. We can hear cries from beyond Dutse. The world has yet again lost one of its finest.

The praises and prayers we hear give us hope that the reward of the beauty he created in this world is awaiting him in his afterlife. Navigating through the pain of the lost, we can only hope and pray that God almighty will count him among those He has bestowed His favours upon from amongst the prophets, the steadfast affirmers of truth, the martyrs and the righteous. May all the good he has done forebear him from every torment of the afterlife.

Allah Ya jikan Sarki!

Ahmad Muhammad Ahmad wrote from Kano, Nigeria.