By Fatimat Ibr
It was my first Ramadan as a graduate and as a serving copper, and it was two days before Ramadan. As a tradition, I called my mom to ask her about the preparation for Ramadan. I knew I couldn’t afford her anything just yet, but checking in was very necessary and important.
She answered, “Hmmm, you know the condition of this house before you left, nothing ohh I don’t have anything, this is 08:30, I am still on my way home from the market, I delayed hoping I will eventually make a good sale so I can get some things we need but no show, things are expensive, we don’t have beans, rice auger or millet, like always I will be buying with cups when I can, Aisha is sick, Usman hasn’t pay his school fees, wallahi I am tired, you and your sis should do fast and come and continue I am tired”.
Before she ended her conversation, my throat was dry and tight, tears were rolling down my cheeks, I couldn’t form a word, tried but couldn’t, and had to end the call.
This is a story of one to a hundred youths in Nigeria, both male and female.
I am a young girl in her early twenties, already caught in the fire of fending for myself, which I barely can do and must carry on with four or five family members. Why? Because I need to pay the “black tax.”
Black tax is a term that originated in South Africa and refers to money that black workers or professionals and others with high income give their parents, siblings, friends, or other family members. The origin of the black tax is rooted in historical and systemic inequality that was prevalent at the time.
The history of black tax can be traced back to the legacy of apartheid in South Africa, which ended in the 1990s. During the apartheid era, Black individuals and families were denied access to many economic opportunities and resources. As a result, they often relied on the support of extended family and community members to make ends meet.
When apartheid ended, many Black individuals and families gained access to new economic opportunities and were able to improve their financial situations. However, they continued to feel a sense of responsibility towards their extended family and community, and this financial obligation became known as the “black tax.”
The black tax has become a menace in Nigeria that needs to be curbed due to the increase in the rate of poverty.
However, we know that it is a thing of honour and Noble to extend hands to others, family, and the community at large,but not at the expense of your personal development and growth.
As the saying goes, “You can’t give what you don’t have”, which is why you need to show up fully for yourself to be able to show up for others.
I want you, my friends and youths, to know and learn to show up for your siblings, parents, and your community with a full cup. You could be there for them emotionally and intellectually.
I talked with fellow corps members, and they have these to say.
“I do not pick up calls from my mum or siblings anymore. I am taking care of my mental health, and I am tired of hearing stories and being guilt-tripped about how I was trained for school and all. I do know they are my responsibility, but I need them to understand that I am trying and thinking about them” ~ Oghene Martha
“I have been paying Black tax since my undergraduate days, and I never get to try restaurants and fun places in school that require money. In school, I constantly thought of things we lacked at home that I needed to get when going back, so I used to do little business in school to stay afloat. Now that I am serving and had to go to a different state, it is challenging because I haven’t recognised any opportunity here, and the 33k barely takes me through for three weeks, but I still have to send money home. My siblings always ranting, it overwhelming actually” ~ Yusuf Nana
Both religion and education have taught us the benefits of giving, and its importance cannot be overemphasised. However, strategy and caution are needed in all aspects of life. We strain ourselves so much to our elastic limit that when things get turpsy, we are again looking for the next best target to Leach off from.
How To Deal with Black Tax?
Communicate: Talk to your family; they will understand. Be transparent, and let them know how much you are trying and working to help yourself and for them. Tell them how much their understanding and emotional support would mean to you. Assure them that you know, see all they did for you, and appreciate them, but you need them to be patient with you.
Work with gross income, not Net income: Your gross income is what you have after settling or deducting your debts, transportation costs, and other daily costs you incur while working over the month. If you must tell your parents, siblings, and friends your salary, it should be your Gross income.
Example: My net income is 250k, and if I tell my parents that I earn that, how would they feel when I send 50k at the end of the month? The best way is this: You earn 250k, you spend 50k monthly on transportation, and airtime 5k. You are left with 195. Then, that is what you share with them. They would be happier if you sent them 30 to 45k.
Set Financial Goals: No matter how minimal your income is, you should have a savings plan; all it takes is discipline, and you will make it work. In the end, it all goes to add up.
Do not lend money to friends and family: 80% of the money you borrow from your friends and family will be very difficult to recover. Most debts end up severing ties between friends and family. Instead, you could adopt this strategy. My friend or one of my siblings asked me to lend her 20k, and I told her I did not have that money, but I could spare her 4 to 5k. I am giving you this for free, so you do not need to pay it back. This is a proven strategy that works most of the time. You protected your relationship and your money. Never give room for cash to steer problems between you and a family.
Learn to say No: This is difficult, but it is necessary. You can be in everyone’s good books. Know what you can bear, recognise your strength, and say no to everything else. Remember, you are nobody’s last hope. Eventually, they will find a way to survive with or without you.
Invest in yourself: You need money to make money, buy things, take trips, and eat good meals. If you fail, people pulling you down with expectations will be the first to criticize you. Take care of yourself.
Be intentional about your physical, intellectual, and financial growth. Black tax is a tool for guilt trips and emotional blackmail, creating balance, and taking care of your mental health.
Until we learn to eliminate pressure, expectations, and guilt and focus on building sustainability and savings, the black tax will continue to be an endemic that will continue to affect future generations.
Together, we can break the vicious cycle of generational dependence.
Fatimat Ibrahim Abedoh is a corps member in Nassarawa State and wrote via abedohfatimat@gmail.com.
