Alpha

By Faruk Ak Waziri

I have always enjoyed learning new words, a hobby I developed while reading short stories and classic novels in junior secondary school. To better understand unfamiliar words, I began enriching my vocabulary, leading to a close friendship with the Oxford Dictionary.

Years of checking the dictionary have, apart from broadening the scope of my vocabulary, expedited my conversance with the basis behind the idea of a single word having several usages—a part of English language learning that wasn’t taught to me on a deep scope at school probably because it is deemed ‘advanced’ and therefore only sparsely incorporated into the Nigerian English curriculum for secondary school level. 

But my romantic attachment to the Oxford dictionary at that stage proved vital by equipping me with the knowledge I could have ended up missing, like the majority of my colleagues, because I had discovered therein that explanations regarding why a single word may have different meanings are attributed mainly to how people who lived within a particular period used it in context. This means a word may no longer have the meaning it used to entail a century ago. I found this idea of words evolving to adopt new meanings based on the context to which people living in a certain period apply them. 

My curiosity to learn more about this fascinating word metamorphosis led me to an English term called Etymology. Etymology is the history and study that trace the origin and development of a linguistic form, such as a word, to its earliest recorded usage in the language where it first appeared. Stumbling upon this term felt like putting the final jig in a puzzle. 

I finally learned that a word or term only translates to the meaning people consistently ascribe to it. And if, over time,such a term starts to be forced into use to convey a sense different from its original definition, the prevalent acceptance of this newfound usage gradually integrates into another connotation of the term, often suppressing the predominant standard meaning. 

When this happens, the new meaning of a word is said to have been absorbed into mainstream usage. Sometimes, this shift in meaning results from deliberate distortion by a select group of people. For example, the Hausa word “Aboki”, which traditionally means “friend” in English, has been twisted to carry a derogatory implication in southern parts of this country. 

This change often results from a willingness to accept one’s uninformed intuition about a word rather than its actual meaning. However, in most cases, distortion and bastardisation stem from a lack of understanding of the original meaning. This last point, which is the main purpose of this post, highlights the ongoing misrepresentation of the terms “alpha” and “alpha man” within the Arewa Facebook community as a case study. 

But before that, let’s briefly stroll through the history of what was once the world’s predominant usage. 

Originating from animal social dynamics, ‘Alpha’ is a word associated with the leader in a group of wolves known collectively as a pack. In a pack, the alpha is the fiercest, strongest, and most dominant male wolf. Embodying attributes such as bravery and those described by the aforementioned adjectives makes the alpha the standout leader of the pack. Metaphorically, “alpha” describes a male human possessing characteristics similar to the leader of a pack of wolves. He is referred to as an alpha male when a person excels above his peers, is assertive, and is hardly sentimental.

The term “alpha man” was continuously used to reference positive qualities in a man, such as leadership, charisma, ambition, confidence, decisiveness, and composure, up until the late 20th century, when it started to witness a semantic shift. The once positive connotations of the term began to be twisted to mirror the traits of toxic masculinity. This distortion continued through media portrayals, books, and online platforms, changing the concept into the laughing stock of what it once meant. Over two years, this distorted usage of the term graced the northern Nigeria online media space, especially the Arewa Facebook community, where it has since become a common address among male users who pridefully identify with the tag. 

The average Arewa Facebook alpha man propagates and would even argue that “alphanci”,; the ideal behaviour of an alpha man is a function of how stiff and emotionally closed off he tends to be mainly in his relationship with a loving partner—a wife or girlfriend. An alpha man shouldn’t chase a girl he likes and must never be explicit about his affections. However, as they believe, that must never be the case with the partner—she has to make it obvious her obsession with him, how much she loves and cares for him, because as enshrined in the alpanchi handbook, “man is always the prize”, and so the lady must contend with the burden of making the relationship work by constantly striving to maker her alpha man happy, lest she ends up losing him—her ‘very precious prize’. 

Today, especially within the Arewa Facebook community, the term “Alpha man” is no longer a tag for the confident, ambitious man—it is now a shorthand for someone overly aggressive, controlling, and egotistical. Instead of focusing on qualities like leadership, empathy, and care, the word is now a function of how domineering a man is to his spouse or girlfriend, a measure of how he treats her with dismissive nonchalance. 

In TV shows like The Originals and The Vampire Diaries, we’ve seen how Klaus Mikaelson, a hybrid possessing both the fiery vampire side and the ruthless werewolf gene, makes sacrifices for love. Despite being an alpha, Klaus listens to Camille and follows her guidance. For Caroline, he shows mercy on multiple occasions—something he rarely does.

In Twilight, Jacob Black did everything he could to win Isabella’s heart, embracing his role as an alpha. But now, the so-called “Arewa Facebook alpha man” does everything to the contrary. He treats his partner with disdain, wrapping toxic masculinity in the guise of being an alpha. The concept that was once premised on strength, leadership, and care now twists to an exaggerated caricature of masculinity, where aggression and control are celebrated. 

What is called “alphanci” has become more like masked misogyny. Alphopi or Alphawa, while hiding under the guise of a serious, no-nonsense persona, their actions towards women and even their stance within their circles only reveal a subtler form of suppressed misogyny. 

To the average Arewa Facebook alpha, you’re either an alpha or a simp—that’s the extent of their black-and-white thinking. They push for “alphanci” in a cult-like manner, and disagreeing with them means risking ridicule and condemnation from their ingroup. This behaviour has further mainstreamed the distortion of what was once a positive term. Now, when you hear “alpha,” it’s hard not to associate it with their toxic behaviour, even though most of them don’t even grasp the word’s true meaning. This is the effect of a concept that’s been relentlessly bastardised. Of Arewa Facebook community alpha men and the culture of mainstreamed bastardisation. 

And can be reached via farukakwaziri019@gmail.com or as Faruk Ak Waziri on Facebook.

By Dr Musab Isah Mafara 

I think Muslims need to be careful with this ‘alphaness’ ideology that some of our brothers are advocating among Northern Nigeria’s netizens. They seem to encourage men not to sympathize with women, especially their wives, and to show no empathy when dealing with these women entrusted with them as wives. Most of these views come from what is termed ‘taken the red pill,’ essentially, men who have been awakened from feminist delusion to the supposed reality that society is fundamentally misandrist and dominated by feminist values.

This is contrary to the teachings of Islam. And while ‘taken the red pill’ advocates go this extreme as a counter to the other extreme of feminist ideologies that openly promote rebellion and hate against the menfolk, both perspectives tend to be against the teachings of Islam, which expect Muslims to take the middle course, often. And although we see writings from some Muslim women in the North suggesting that they have imbibed these feminist ideologies, there is no justification for going the other extreme.

The Prophet (SAW) said women were created from the most crooked rib, and if you insist on straightening her, you will break her, which means to divorce her. He (SAW) taught Muslim men not to expect perfection from women. Even his wives, the mothers of the believers, were cautioned in the Qur’an on some of their behaviours towards the Prophet (SAW). How, then, could one expect perfection from other Muslim women?

Yes, Islam expects total obedience to husbands from women in what is not Haram, and a woman who fails to obey her husband is living in sin. She is to serve him and should not even go out of her home without his permission, among other duties. The Prophet (SAW), after an Eid prayer, went to the women’s side and informed them that one of the reasons that some of them may be taken to hellfire on the last day is their disobedience towards their husbands.

But as humans, some women will fail in fulfilling the rights of their husbands just as some men will fail in their responsibilities too. Some women are evil in their actions and treatment of their husbands, just as some men are next to Satan in the way they treat their wives. These are by no means reasons to hate on the womenfolk, in general, nor the men in toto.

Husbands, as leaders, are expected to be full of forgiveness and understanding and should show appreciation for the good side of their wives. Qur’an Chapter 30:21 says, “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who give thought.” This is the way a couple should be seeing themselves.

Again, being kind, helpful, and emphatic to your wife is Sunnah. It is even commanded in the Qur’an, Chapter 4:19 says, “… And live with them in kindness …” The Prophet was helpful to his family in every way possible. He wasn’t washing plates nor sweeping the apartment every day as some Muslim women want to emphasize, but it is on record that he did help – maybe a few times. A Muslim man will earn rewards if he helps with the intention of following the Sunnah. He will earn rewards when he is helpful, kind, and generous to his wife(s). He (SAW) said the bests among you are those who are best to their wives.

A wise man once said to me that one of the ways to have a healthy marriage is to be as patient as possible with your wife when she fails to fulfil your rights (not adorning herself to your taste, for instance), but you should not ignore her actions when the rights of Allah are not fulfilled (for instance, when she is committing sins, you have to stop her because she is under your care and you will be asked by Allah). 

As Muslims, we do not ‘throw women on the street’, and our women do not ‘belong to the street’ regardless of how much we feel they wronged us. We call our wives even if they do not call us; we just assume they are busy with the children or work. We do not live in a tit-for-tat kind of setting with our spouses in which we take revenge for every wrong one does. We do our bit as Islam commands us, even if the other party is not reciprocating as they should. We believe this temporary world is a test, and we do our best to pass this test with the hope that Allah will reward us with the best of His Jannah in the hereafter.

Both men and women should learn from the Prophet’s teachings in their marital lives and not copy the tone of the ‘red-pilled.’ They are reacting to the misandry that they believe is prevalent in the Western world.

Musab Mafara, PhD, can be contacted via nmusabu@gmail.com.