By Suleiman Usman Yusuf
Mentorship ideally involves a powerful exchange in which experienced individuals selflessly guide and motivate others, promoting growth and potential. It is a reciprocal act of giving back, forming a chain of knowledge and support that benefits both mentor and mentee. However, this is not solely hierarchical. Reverse mentorship highlights younger generations sharing expertise in rapidly evolving fields, where they often surpass their older counterparts in understanding. Nonetheless, reality frequently falls short.
A significant misrepresentation, usually deliberate, undermines mentorship’s integrity, affecting both mentors and mentees. Many mentors publicly project an image of unflinching support, yet privately, many mentees report a lack of genuine engagement – not occasional lapses, but a consistent absence of promised guidance.
This is worsened by mentors taking public credit for mentees’ achievements, even when their involvement was minimal or non-existent. This raises questions: Has mentorship become self-promotion, leveraging others’ successes for personal gain? Is the pursuit of accolades overshadowing the commitment to nurturing potential?
This deliberate misrepresentation extends to mentees. While financial support from a mentor can be helpful (for project logistics or seed funding), the relationship shouldn’t be founded on this. Seeking a mentor solely for financial assistance devalues the mentor’s time and expertise, reducing the relationship to a transaction rather than a collaborative journey. This hinders the mentee’s development, as genuine learning requires commitment beyond financial gain.
Beyond these core issues, several other challenges frequently undermine the effectiveness of mentorship relationships. Power imbalances inherent in the mentor-mentee dynamic can lead to exploitation or abuse. Mentors might take advantage of their position, while mentees might feel pressured to conform to uncomfortable expectations.
Moreover, a lack of clearly defined goals and expectations frequently leads to aimless and unproductive relationships. Both parties must grasp the expectations and desired outcomes from the beginning, establishing regular check-ins to remain focused and assess progress.
Effective mentorship depends on open and honest communication, as well as mutual trust. Without these elements, misunderstandings and frustrations can easily arise, potentially damaging the relationship. Furthermore, the demands of mentorship can lead to burnout for mentors who take on too many mentees or neglect to set healthy boundaries.
Mentees, too, can become overwhelmed if they lack self-awareness or adequate support. Inconsistent commitment from either party, whether due to competing priorities or lack of motivation, inevitably leads to a lack of progress and can breed resentment. Finally, mismatched personalities or differing goals can make it extremely difficult for a mentor-mentee relationship to thrive.
Ultimately, successful mentorship hinges on authenticity and mutual respect. Mentors must prioritize genuine support and guidance and focus on empowering mentees. Mentees should approach mentorship with a sincere desire for growth and understand that the rewards extend far beyond financial gain.
The transformative potential of mentorship can only be fully realised through a foundation of honesty and reciprocal commitment between mentor and mentee. Maya Angelou wisely said, “I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Suleiman writes from Abuja and can be reached at suleimanusmanbac@gmail.com.
