By Aisha Musa Auyo, PhD
I first learned about a tongue-tie when my third son, Anwar, was admitted to the hospital due to a high fever. I was to share a room with another patient, and I was furious. I told the nurses I would prefer to stay in the corridor rather than share a room. I hate sharing rooms, especially in a hospital.
“The amenity room is fully booked. A patient will soon leave, and you’ll be transferred there,” a nurse told me.
I kept whining and complaining. My husband kept saying I should be patient…..“it’s just for a few days.” In my mind, I was like, you’ll never understand what it means to share a hospital room, because you’ve never experienced it. It’s easier said than done.
I accepted defeat and entered the room. Anwar was crying so loudly that he drew the other patient’s attention. In my mind, I thought, you see why I avoid sharing rooms…. I dislike inconveniencing others. I didn’t think the patient would be able to sleep with that noise.
One of the women attending to the other patient asked me, “Do you know that your son has a tongue-tie?”
I said no. What’s a tongue-tie? I had never heard of it.
She told me to look at his tongue while he was crying and said I would see a tissue-like thread holding it, meaning the tongue isn’t free. When I checked, I saw it was very visible.
I asked her more about it, and she explained that it’s natural for some babies to be born with it. Usually, doctors notice it and remove it shortly after birth. But if it isn’t addressed early, it may require a minor surgery to remove it. Anwar was about six months old then.
I thanked her and asked for the way forward. She recommended a paediatrician.
Before the procedure, I read about tongue-tie from over a hundred sites, and spoke to more than ten doctors… lol. It turned out to be a minor surgical procedure that didn’t take more than a minute, since he was still a baby. It gets more complicated with age.
From my research, I also learned that Anwar’s feeding difficulty was likely caused by a tongue-tie.
Many children with tongue-tie may also experience:
– Speech difficulties, especially with sounds like “t”, “d”, “l”, “r”, “s”, and “th”
– Unclear or slightly slurred speech
– (Though not every child with tongue-tie has speech issues, it can contribute)
Other possible effects include:
– Oral hygiene challenges (difficulty clearing food, increased risk of tooth decay)
– Eating difficulties (trouble licking, swallowing, or moving food around the mouth)
– Dental or jaw development issues (such as gaps or bite alignment problems)
– Social or psychological effects, like reduced confidence due to speech or tongue movement limitations
Anwar’s procedure (frenotomy) was done seamlessly, and everything returned to normal. Alhamdulillah.
After that experience, I made it a point to pay closer attention to babies. I realised it’s quite common, yet not widely known. I’ve made it a personal responsibility to educate parents about it before it becomes complicated.
There’s also a lesson here:
1. Not everything we dislike is bad. Sometimes, what we resist is exactly what we need….or what will benefit us the most.
2. I hate sharing rooms with strangers because I don’t want to inconvenience anyone or feel like a burden. But from that experience, I learned something valuable…. and now I’m sharing it with others. So maybe it’s not so bad after all. Hausa people say, “mutane rahama ne” (people are a blessing).
3. No matter your position, knowledge, number of children, or experience, there’s always something you don’t know. And there’s always something you can learn from others—their experiences, exposure, and expertise.
Anyway, when I gave birth to Azrah, my fourth child, I was subconsciously checking for tongue-tie—and I saw one! Hausa people, again, say: “Mai nema na tare da samu”… Bature yace: “He who seeketh… findeth.”
That was after a full check-up by nurses, doctors, and even a paediatrician. I brought it to their attention, and they confirmed it. The minor surgical procedure (frenotomy) was done four days after birth.
I hated the sight of blood on her tiny mouth, but what could I do? The earlier, the better. Alhamdulillah.
If you’ve learned something from this write-up, kindly share it so others can benefit too.
If you’d like to read more stories and reflections like this, drawn from real-life experiences, you can get my book Between Hearts and Homes for deeper, relatable insights into everyday life.
Aisha Musa Auyo, PhD, is an Educational Psychologist, author, and media professional passionate about translating research into practical impact. She writes on parenting, family, and education, drawing from expertise and personal experience. Aisha is also a parenting and relationship coach and founder of Eesher Auyo’s Empire in Abuja, Nigeria.