By Aisha Musa Auyo
Dear Dad, I can’t believe you’ve left this world
Earlier today, I found myself
Praying for your health
Instead of praying for your Rahma and Ghuffar
In my subconsciousness
You’re still alive
I’m still in the denial stage of my grief
It’s unbelievable, the man that brought me into this world
The man who loves me from day one
The man who nurtured me day and night
Even after my marriage
He never let go of me
Is no more to see me grow
His dreams for me were larger than life
His belief in me was stronger than rock
His patience with me was deeper than the ocean
His respect for me was limitless like air
Dear Dad, I tried to move on from your death, as you would have loved me to
But I couldn’t escape the reality that my hero was gone
During the day I’m mostly fine
During the night it’s a different story
Only God knows the silent tears I’ve shed
The numerous plates I’ve broken
The countless foods I’ve burnt
The tiny cuts on my fingers
As I tried to move on from your death
Dear Dad, I was told your grave was full of water
That I should be happy, it’s a sign of Rahma
But this news tore my heart
As I imagine you inside the mud
Alone in your grave
But I learned that,
Your Ruuh is with our Lord
It’s just your body under the mud
Dear Dad, I was reminded that you lived a fulfilled life
Reached the pinnacle of your profession
Touched thousands of souls
Mentored countless lives
Fathered numerous of us
Built dreams and hope for others
Cemented relationships and communities
That your life is a dream of many
The smiling scholar as they named you
Yet, I still hoped you were here
To witness my PhD viva
To witness that big appointment you’ve always envisioned for me
To witness the marriage of all your kids
The successes of all your kids
But Allah’s timing is never to be questioned
And in His will, we were together
Few hours before your death
And your parting words: ‘Allah Yai muku albarka’
Will forever echo in my ears
For you’ve repeated it too many times at that moment
The prayers are too much I thought to myself
Not knowing that was the last thing I’d hear from you
Dear Dad, till we meet in Jannah I would say
For I hope writing this poem
Will give me closure
Will make me accept the reality
That you’re no more with us
That you’re in a better place
That you’re in light and peace Bi iznillah