By Ibrahyim A. El-Caleel
Muslim men who have an interest in interfaith marriages (marriage to non-Muslim wives) seem to be looking at the matter only at the surface. They do not look deeply into the injunctions around the whole marriage.
Yes, Islam permits a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim wife, but the reverse case is prohibited. Some of the few things you must think deeply about and seek explanations from scholars over are:
1.It is not permissible for the Muslim husband to force his non-Muslim wife to accept Islam. This is not permissible in Islam.
2. To what degree can you ensure that your children from the wife remain upon the fitrah – remain as Muslims? A large number of children from this form of marriage end up as non-Muslims. Some of them leave the fold of Islam after their Muslim fathers die. Some of the fathers don’t even care. They actually make it a “democracy” sort of thing. “You boys and girls can just choose what you think you are okay with- my religion or your mother’s”.
3. How do you reconcile specific differences between the injunctions in your religion and hers? An example here is that a Muslim wife must take her janabah bath after menstruating. Equally, there is no intercourse during that period. Are you aware of what is the provision for a non-Muslim wife? From where do you start, especially since there is even a niyyah (intention) component in the janabah bath? Have you thought about this before?
4. You must allow her to practice her religion if she is genuinely committed to it. If, for example, she must hang a symbol of her religion, let’s say , in her living room, would you be okay with it? Okay, let’s assume you have no problem with that. Have you asked what the Islamic injunction on praying is for any of your five compulsory prayers in a room with such a symbol inside it?
Both Muslim men and non-Muslim women must seek clarification on some of these things before getting married. They should not just look at the permissibility at the surface. What are the other injunctions within such a marriage? Islam is full of injunctions as a religion based on knowledge of the Qur’an and Hadith.
There are many injunctions even in a marriage between a Muslim man and a Muslim woman. Therefore, intending couples in interfaith marriages must better know what they are getting into. It is not always about getting a flight ticket and a visa to Rome. You must think ahead—what happens after you land in Rome?