How to survive without a housemaid

By Aisha Musa Auyo 

The current trends of housemaids poisoning their employers are so sickening and scary. It happened countless times, and one can’t escape seeing one or two videos of such heinous acts. From sexual and physical to mental abuse, housemaids and their masters always have these issues in their relationship.

Whenever I encounter such an incident, I wonder why we continue to employ maids or why others leave their homes and work with people they hate. I had maids, and I grew up with maids in our house. But things are different now. People do not fear God. Humanity is lost. From the employee to employers, we are all at fault. 

As much as we agree, the maids are vulnerable and more likely to become victims. Unfortunately, these maids have upped their games, and the family employed them are becoming the victims. I’m not here to tell who is right or wrong, but I know that maids had abused us, taken advantage of our kindness, stolen from us, and deceived us to the extent that we decided we no longer have maids in our home.

Is it easy? No. Is it doable? Yes. We can bring an end to this problem. This issue is almost none existence in developed countries. Regardless of how educated or wealthy you are, cleaning your home is something one takes pride in doing, except for celebrities and rich people who employ the services of cleaning agencies who can hardly be cheated on and are less likely to betray too.

Another advantage of doing your house chore is that it helps you burn calories. Moving your body here and there, doing this and that makes you burn calories, makes you more energetic and more alert. As a result, you gain most of the advantages that come with doing exercise. Researchers have proven that active women around the home are healthier and less likely to be attacked with a certain illness than women who sit and do nothing all day.

As a homemaker, I’ve devised ways to survive without a maid, and with the help of Allah, I’m doing fine, if not great. I don’t have the constant apprehension of trying not to harm another person or be hurt by that person. The peace that comes with this feeling is priceless. 

1. Wake up earlier than others, or simply reduce your sleep hours. You will be surprised what an extra hour will do to make your work faster and your home cleaner. This can be an hour before everyone wakes up or an hour after everyone else sleeps. This will give you undivided attention to do whatever needs to be done.

2. Engage other family members. From your kids to whomever you are living with, allocate an age-appropriate chore to everyone, and ensure they do it. Even if it’s just cleaning up after their mess. A five-year-old can wash their plate and spoon. Can pick up toys, and older than/six years old can change the bedding, bathe themselves, and clean up after using the loo.

3. Clean as you go. From always picking up dirt and cleaning drops with wipes or napkins to washing dishes as you cook and immediately after eating, you will manage to have a clean space almost all the time.

4. Reduce the number of plates for dishing up. All those fancy food flasks, jugs, spoons, forks, saucers, knives, and big trays are not a must. Use only what you need except when you have visitors. I mostly dish up from the pot straight to the plate (there are elegant plating styles to please the eyes) or a plate and a bowl. Fruits could be served or arranged in a big bowl for everyone to eat together. Drinks can be served directly in used water bottles or paper cups, so you can just throw them away after use. 

5. Hire a one-day help at intervals. The point here is to get someone to help you with things you find hard and time-consuming. For example, laundry is my number one weakness, so we employed someone to do this, as the person doesn’t have to go and stay with us to achieve this. You can engage them weekly or bi-weekly, so they can help you with bulk cleaning, like removing the cobwebs, cleaning the compound, brushing sofas and rugs, and doing other deep cleanings that will help keep the house sane throughout the weeks. If this is not an option for you, you can just take the clothes to laundry services, as you will need all the help you can get.

6. The toilets. Depending on the number of people using it, a bathroom should be washed every other day. In between, ensure that every mess is cleaned after usage.

7. Fridges and freezers; the fridge can be cleaned and decluttered once a week, and the freezer can be cleaned once a month, depending on how you shop and cook.

8. Buy machines that will make your work easier. From a washing machine, a strong blender that can blend Tiger nuts and beans, a vacuum, a dishwasher, and many others, depending on your pocket size, you need all the help you can get. This is where your husband comes in. He should know that you made a sacrifice for the safety and sanity of the family, and you need his financial support and understanding.

9. Husbands, we need your support here. You see, all those allowances that should have been used to pay a maid, we need it, in two or three folds. We are the glorified house helps now. We keep the home set and safe. A token will motivate us to do better.

Verbal support is a must. Commend her efforts for taking good care of the homeland and everyone in the family. It’s not easy. I know it’s her duty, but one or two good words won’t hurt, you know?

Still, the husband should try to overlook when she sometimes errs in caring for the house. She is only human, with two hands. And if you can sometimes help with one or two things when you are less busy, that will be a plus for you and her, if you know what I mean.

If you can afford it, make water and electricity 2/47-thing. This is a necessity, not a luxury. She needs this to make work easier for her. Almost all the tasks at home need either electricity, water, or both.

10. Look for temporary help when you are sick or pregnant. Find someone reliable from your family or friends to help you before you get back on your feet.

11. If you can afford it, carve out a playroom or a play area for your kids so that they limit their playing objects to that place. Your living room should always be clean; a toy here and there will make that mission impossible.

12. Lastly, start the day with prayers and a potent stimulant. A hot black tea or coffee will do the trick. Trust me; you need it. If you are an addict like me, ensure you never run out of it. Also, habitually do the zikr – Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, and Wallahu Akbar – while you go around your daily routines. Our prophet taught Nana Fatima this when she asked him to give her a slave to help her with domestic chores. He said this would be best for her, here and hereafter. Listen to radio, podcasts, Quranic recitations, music, or audiobook. This will energise, entertain, educate and make housework less burdensome and easy for you.

My fellow woman, this piece is not for the sick, pregnant, lazy, or full-time working mom (9-5). If you are lucky with your maid, hold on to her, don’t come and kill yourself with work.

But if you are healthy, up and doing, have a flexible job, or not working at all, this is for you; congratulation. You will be rewarded immensely for this. You will have peace of mind, thus not constantly worrying about what’s happening in your house. You will raise a family who will learn to manage a home without depending on others. You won’t raise another person’s child at the expense of yours. And trust me, it won’t last forever. Once the kids are all grown, you can relax and do minor chores.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed and think of getting a maid, this idea will often cross my mind, especially if I can afford it. I ask myself, how will I cope if I live in a Western country? This resets me.

Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology, a mother of three, a Home Maker, a caterer and a parenting/ relationship coach.