By Aisha Musa Auyo
Allah created marriage for lifelong pleasure and happiness. Therefore, beyond any other human relationship, marriage has the potential to make us happier. But there is a price to this happiness, which is CHARACTER.
Marriage tests our character in every way. It tests our patience, work ethic, willingness to forgive, sensitivity to others, tolerance for those different from us, cooperation ability, endurance, and humility. Marriage is simply the biggest character test in life.
These tests integrate into our demeanour and give us a certain level of understanding, patience and maturity, and willingness to forgive. Moreover, it opens our eyes to the reality of life that unconditional love is exclusively for parents and children.
One needs to work more on his character, temperament, and personality to be able to live peacefully with others. Emotional intelligence plays a greater role in the relationship than anything else.
For most new couples, marriage was like a trip to the proverbial woodshed for the first several years. They were selfish, insensitive, angry and chauvinistic. After the first few years, many spouses were convinced that they had made a mistake in marrying their mate and that they were the cause of their misery.
But after lots of patience and endurance, when they look back at those times, they will realise that all the negatives that happened are crucial in forming their character. Many couples admit that they almost didn’t make it. They almost give up, but such circumstances forced them to decide to change and become more like Allah wants them to be… (patient, prayerful, selfless, understanding, and forgiving).
As a partner, know that your marriage will take a significant step forward every time you make a positive character change. Your spouse also will make positive character choices that will benefit your relationship, and you will have a great marriage, inshaAllah. It won’t be perfect, but you will be happier, contented, and at peace than ever before and will be glad to be committed to the lifelong journey.
Know that before marriage makes you happy, it will make you grow.
Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A mother of three, Aisha is a homemaker, caterer and parenting/relationship coach.