By Aisha Musa Auyo
I have been writing about how women should be patient, understanding, tolerant, verbally appreciative of their men, admire them, massage their egos, and constantly upgrade themselves to please their men, etc. The men are loving it. It’s about time women get their concerns heard.
We all love good things. And I know it’s a man’s nature not to care what his woman thinks about his looks after he marries her. The truth is, smart men know that appeasing their women pleases themselves. Most of the time, women reciprocate what they feel. If they’re happy, they radiate that energy to the people around them, and trust me, a positive vibe is contagious.
You’ve seen her, and you wanted nothing but to marry her at that moment. You will do anything to please, impress, convince, attract, and marry her. That’s not the end, though. You need to work on staying happily married to her. You need to stay attractive to her. Women are strange beings—simple yet complicated. Basic things like hygiene (oral, toilet, clothes, head, nails, and general body cleanliness), choice of perfume, or outfits can make her love or hate you. Yes, we don’t dislike—we hate. Lol.
Frankly, I don’t want to write about this. I don’t want to start telling adult males how to groom themselves, but the direct messages and tags I receive are too numerous to ignore. So, let’s do this!
It was reported to me that most men don’t flush after peeing. Yes, you read that correctly. I feel compelled to bring this out for the sake of my girls. Furthermore, when they flush after a number two, they don’t bother to wait and see if everything is cleared, let alone use the toilet brush or air freshener.
The ideal way to clean up after using the toilet is to wash yourself with soap and water. Water alone will suffice for purification, but soap is necessary for hygiene and a pleasant smell.
When it comes to underwear, kindly change them daily. Buy as many as you can afford. There are affordable ones for everyone’s pocket. Nigerian weather is not very friendly. Those sweatpants and tight trousers are bad for hygiene. Please let your body breathe!
Mouthwash, clove, and chewing gum are not for women alone. They’re oral hygiene products for both genders. Teeth scaling, polishing, and dental check-ups are not just for celebrities. They’re for everyone. Manicures, pedicures, and shaving (for men) every Friday are sunnah. Shampoo, conditioner, and anti-dandruff products are for both genders, especially men who want to grow their hair. However, they should be aware that this decision comes with financial responsibility.
Wash or sanitize your hands immediately when you get home. Bathe and brush your teeth after work, and use deodorant, body spray, antiperspirants, and perfumes (I know most of you do these things before going out). The problem is when you are home. Your wife deserves the best version of you. Please ask her what she thinks of your perfume. If her choice is different from yours, use your own choice when you are going out and her choice when you are home.
When your wife nonchalantly suggests that you freshen up, get the clue, dude… she may not spell out that you stink. And if anyone you trust offers you a clove, chewing gum, or minted sweets, gladly accept it; chances are, you need to freshen your breath. Accept corrections and observations about your hygiene with an open mind.
If you notice that your wife is avoiding physical contact or conversations with you, check your hygiene. A wife prepares herself and waits the whole day just to be with her husband. So if she’s keeping her distance, something must be amiss. Freshen up and both of you will be fine.
Women love money, they say, but decent women love hygienic and good-smelling men more. If you have money, use it to look and smell good. If you don’t, make sure you are not dirty. There are cheaper options for looking and smelling good. A woman can never hate a neat and good-smelling guy. Women pay more attention to how you smell than how you look.
And that annoying jallabiyya you men wear from Friday evening until Monday morning, please try to change the habit. It really annoys us. If we ladies can change at least two outfits a day just to please you, you may as well reciprocate the gesture. There are comfortable casual clothes that are very available and affordable.
The dreaded morning breath… we know it’s unavoidable, but hey, brush your teeth before sleeping, use mouthwash, chew mint leaves or cloves before bed. That morning intimacy couples rave about isn’t so great with morning breath. Please brush before going to Subhi prayer (that one is a complaint from your fellow men). Just brush before talking to anyone. Drink water and eat a date or apple to neutralize the acidity in your empty stomach.
In general, a pleasant smell has a calming effect on the person who wears it and the person who breathes it in. A bad smell is not only offensive to the nose but also damages the recipient’s mood, angering them instantly. The unfortunate thing is that most people who exude a bad smell are unaware of it. Therefore, as an individual, do everything humanly possible to avoid having an unpleasant odor. Never be too busy or in a hurry to the detriment of your personal hygiene and grooming.
Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctoral researcher in Educational Psychology, a mother of three, a homemaker, caterer, and parenting/relationship coach. She can be contacted via aishamuauyo@gmail.com.
I must say thanks to this