By Aisha Musa Auyo
As a wife, your confidence can wither away if you continue to live your life only through the eyes of what your husband thinks of you. Yes, you have read that correctly.
Naturally, you want his approval, attention, praise, and appreciation for all that you do. From taking care of the home front to always being on top of the kid’s school projects and progress to making delicious dishes, entertaining guests, and remembering the family schedule of events, the list is endless!
But he is another human being preoccupied with his thoughts, goals, and ideas and isn’t always tuned in to what you are doing.
While I believe it’s important for a husband and wife to consistently express their appreciation, love, or admiration for each other, the REALITY is that life happens. When it does, those things don’t always come as regularly as you would all like.
As much as it is natural for women to need and want genuine compliments that uplift and celebrate their unique qualities, men are naturally reserved when it comes to expressing their thoughts and feelings. So, please don’t hurt yourself waiting for his verbal validation.
Here are a few things you should do:
Surround yourself with purpose and meaning: When you surround yourself with purpose, you prioritise the things that truly matter to you. Filling your physical space with meaning can create a sense of harmony and inspire your daily interactions. Consider incorporating books, phrases, artwork, or websites that hold significance to you. They can serve as constant reminders of your values and goals, grounding you and igniting your passion to pursue a meaningful life.
Moreover, seeking activities and endeavours that resonate with your purpose can bring immense fulfilment. Whether it’s volunteering for a cause close to your heart, pursuing a career that aligns with your passions, or dedicating time to personal growth and self-reflection, these intentional choices infuse your life with purposeful actions and contribute to your overall sense of fulfilment.
Remember, surrounding yourself with purpose and meaning is not a one-time endeavour but an ongoing process of introspection, evaluation, and intentional decision-making. It entails regularly reviewing and adjusting your surroundings to ensure they continue to inspire and support your journey.
So, take the initiative to curate a life that reflects your values, passions, and aspirations. Embrace the power of purposeful surroundings, and let them guide you towards a more fulfilling and meaningful existence.
Spend time with people who understand you and are motivated by your ideas and vision, and vice versa. Make a conscious effort to be surrounded by people who inspire you, support your growth, and share your vision. These relationships become the foundation for collaboration, encouragement, and personal development.
Give in “whatever” capacity you can to your dreams and aspirations that go beyond the walls of your home. The capacity will vary from family stage (beginners with small kids to middle-aged families with grown kids) to family educational background, religion, and financial stability.
Fingers are not equal, so be true to your situation while still not compromising your dreams and aspirations.
Make du’a and speak to Allah often the ideas in your heart. Praying and talking to Allah regularly is very important for deep Spiritual Connection, which allows you to strengthen your faith and feel His presence in your life.
He will provide you with guidance, clarity, and wisdom when you’re faced with important decisions and or challenges.
When speaking to Allah, make it a point of expressing gratitude. Be grateful for His endless blessings, and seek forgiveness for your sins and mistakes.
Sharing your thoughts and feelings with Allah offers relief and support during difficult times. It encourages self-reflection and a sense of purpose in life.
Overall, praying and speaking to Allah helps you maintain a strong connection with your faith, find guidance, and nurture a sense of peace and well-being.
Develop a sense of contentment. Like anyone else, a wife should develop a sense of contentment as it promotes mental and emotional well-being. Contentment helps you find happiness and satisfaction, reduces stress and anxiety, and fosters a positive outlook.
It also leads to healthier relationships and a greater sense of fulfilment, allowing you to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and peace.
Dear wife, resist the idea that your husband “completes” you, and therefore, you are always in need of him completing you while you wait for him to take notice of the intricacies of your world.
You are whole.
Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A wife, a mother, a homemaker, caterer, parenting, and relationship coach. She can be reached via firstname.lastname@example.org.