By Garba Sidi
It’s truly disheartening how some parents neglect their responsibilities in shaping their children’s behaviour. This lack of care can leave their biological sons and daughters feeling unloved. Love is crucial for a child’s healthy development.
On my way out of the city this morning, I overheard a conversation between two young men, no older than 24, who were smoking cigarettes. One said, ‘We have no value in people’s eyes because we messed up our lives.’ The other responded, ‘I swear, Nasiru, when I look at my friend Aminu, his life seems so good. Everyone likes him; he studied hard, has a good job, and looks at us, sitting in this dirty place. We ruined our lives, and we’re ashamed of ourselves.’
Nasiru’s friend spoke in a low voice, gathering his thoughts before narrating his story. He explained that his father was a car driver and his mother was from Bauchi State. When his father married his mother and brought her to Jigawa, she told him about his father’s recklessness in providing for their needs (his and his younger sister’s). After some years, his father married another woman, and whatever resources he brought came to her, leaving them with nothing but what their neighbours offered.
His mother sadly passed away, plunging him into deep sorrow. From that point on, their life became a struggle. He started going to the fish market to earn money for food and other necessities, as his stepmother used everything his father brought, even food, leaving them barely enough to eat. His stepmother, who didn’t have children herself, would sometimes even tell him his father wasn’t a man because he couldn’t give her a child.
He had friends who smoked cigarettes, and being around them constantly led him to become a drug addict. He blames two things for his current situation: the love he lost from his father and the death of his mother.
His friend, Nazy, then began his story about joining this group of drug addicts. He attributed the core reason for his situation to his mother’s neglect in shaping him in his youth. He explained that his mother sold food at home, and his father was a mechanic engineer. Many people came to their house to eat, and as the only male child, both parents showered him with love and didn’t punish him when he did wrong.
He started working as a shopboy for one of their regular customers. Things went well initially until he met the daughter of a wealthy businessman. They began a relationship, and she introduced him to a world of excessive entertainment, including smoking cigarettes, drinking syrup, injecting drugs, and inappropriate physical contact. Tragically, her father caught them drinking syrup in his apartment and handed Nazy over to the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) while his daughter continued to enjoy a comfortable life without consequences.
Nazy’s parents tried to get him out of jail but were too late. The wealthy man paid money to have Nazy imprisoned, blaming him for ruining his daughter’s life. Nazy spent five months in prison before being released. He heard the wealthy man’s daughter is now in Uganda. This is how he ended up in this cycle of addiction.