By Aliyu Nuhu
Mal Kwalisa (not his real name) is an acquaintance. He has never travelled outside Nigeria. He was a money changer. One day he made a big kill and came into some big money and decided to visit UAE. He only told me he was travelling to Dubai for two weeks, and off he left via Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport Abuja.
Three days after, Mal Kwalisa was back with us in Kano. I asked what happened. He was a bit ashamed, but later he blew the lid.
When he arrived in Dubai he booked into a hotel. After hours of rest, he went to one shop and saw a very beautiful Arab woman. He told her he came from Nigeria and he had plenty of money and promptly invited her to his hotel room. She smiled and told him she was married and that in UAE, women don’t visit men in hotels.
Mallam didn’t buy her story. He thought she could be persuaded by the promise of more money. He went back to his hotel and returned after lunch. He made the same offer again, and she smiled and told him to come back after closing hours, by 5 pm.
He went back at the appointed time only to find three askaris (police) waiting for him. They asked what his mission was, and he said he came to see his friend, pointing to the woman. The police asked him her name, and he didn’t know. They took him back to the hotel, packed his bag and drove him to the airport. He was lucky they did not chain him. They put him in the next available plight leaving UAE to Africa, Air Moroc. He landed in Casablanca.
After some hours, he was again put on the next available flight to Johannesburg, South Africa. After a long delay at midnight, he was bundled into a plane going to Lagos.
Our man had to find his way to Abuja by road after becoming Vasco da Gama overnight. He asked what could possibly be his offence.
I told him in UAE, adultery is punishable by death. The woman reported him to the police. He was lucky that she did not trick him and reported him while in his hotel room. And she didn’t mention rape.